Well, I said I had more government job-related stories, but I would just like to hash out some etiquette related confusion, which actually is kinda job-related
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It stands to reason that there is a "schlongular half-life" at work here, that, according to the latest research, degrades at the rate of 50% per contact, excluding the initial hand-to-khak exposure.
Example:
his khak -> his hand (schlongularity 100%) his hand -> your hand (schlongularity 50%)
50%. That's pretty high. With that kind of exposure, you've been schlonged pretty badly.
I'm sorry, Dan. You will be remembered.
However, to continue with this line of reasoning and further flesh out (heh heh..."flesh") what we're talking about here, I submit another example.
his khak -> his hand (schlongularity 100%) his hand -> his zipper, pants, etc. (schlongularity 50%) his hand -> faucet (schlongularity 25%) his hand -> soap, water, etc. (schlongularity reduced to insignificant levels) his hand -> your whatever(!) (schlongularity 0%...probably)
This is the...er...ideal, I guess, case. But unfortunately, this is not always possible. So, what can we expect? At the very least, I think manners demand something along the lines of the following:
his khak -> his hand (schlongularity 100%) his hand -> his pants (schlongularity 50%) his hand -> your hand (schlongularity 25%)
This is still high, but not yet deadly. Follow this up with an application of the Seven Second principle, and we have:
your hand -> your pants (schlongularity 12.5%) your hand -> your pants again (schlongularity 6.25%) your hand -> your khak (if you really have to...I should think you could at least switch hands...)
And so on. Of course at this point, the Seinfeld Corrolary applies, and you have no choice but to burn your pants as soon as possible, since they have been irreparably schlonged by some non-colony khak. But that's still better than direct khak-to-khak schlongularifection.
Example:
his khak -> his hand (schlongularity 100%)
his hand -> your hand (schlongularity 50%)
50%. That's pretty high. With that kind of exposure, you've been schlonged pretty badly.
I'm sorry, Dan. You will be remembered.
However, to continue with this line of reasoning and further flesh out (heh heh..."flesh") what we're talking about here, I submit another example.
his khak -> his hand (schlongularity 100%)
his hand -> his zipper, pants, etc. (schlongularity 50%)
his hand -> faucet (schlongularity 25%)
his hand -> soap, water, etc. (schlongularity reduced to insignificant levels)
his hand -> your whatever(!) (schlongularity 0%...probably)
This is the...er...ideal, I guess, case. But unfortunately, this is not always possible. So, what can we expect? At the very least, I think manners demand something along the lines of the following:
his khak -> his hand (schlongularity 100%)
his hand -> his pants (schlongularity 50%)
his hand -> your hand (schlongularity 25%)
This is still high, but not yet deadly. Follow this up with an application of the Seven Second principle, and we have:
your hand -> your pants (schlongularity 12.5%)
your hand -> your pants again (schlongularity 6.25%)
your hand -> your khak (if you really have to...I should think you could at least switch hands...)
And so on. Of course at this point, the Seinfeld Corrolary applies, and you have no choice but to burn your pants as soon as possible, since they have been irreparably schlonged by some non-colony khak. But that's still better than direct khak-to-khak schlongularifection.
Beal out.
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