yearning for you

[frostyroses]

everyday, i would remember you before my sleep and my heart aches
at the thought of us getting apart, slowly

i know that you are busy
and i have always known

i know that our lives are different from how we used to be

we used to be so young, so loving, and so carefree
i trusted every single thing about me to you

your tears were my strength
your smiles were my belief

that day, i vowed to be someone on par with you
able to be by your side

as your sister.. and your best friend

but everything has changed
and i could not remember the last time you were seeking my help

the last time you told me stories

i understood, right away, that now you have new friends
better than me
and who am i anyway

i am still the same old filthy girl
i lost everything in my heart
i thought i would be able to forgive myself

but i can never forgive myself

you were the only hope i had
but your warmth gradually disappears

and all i have is your constant apologies
of broken promises
and long-forgotten sweet memories

girl i am yearning for you

but i cannot say anything
since i do not wish
to tie you down

i wonder if my feelings have ever reached you

i wonder if you are still the same old person
willing to hold my hand

or did you just toss me away

if that's what you wish
i will be glad to walk away
if that's the best

in the end
in the end
in the end

you, are what matters to me

yet at the same time

i wish your tiny, small hand would reach me again
i wish
you would never let go of my hand
i wish
you would stay

although i know

that's just my own wishful thinking