pic from photo final
I feel like I need to let everything out. somehow or someway or with someone. My brain is like chucky soup and I feel like i can't even think anymore. I have taken lot of twisted roads lately..and they have been taking me in the wrong directions......or at least I think the wrong diretions. Life used to be so simple...pain was expected and I knew when it was coming. Now I don't know where to expect pain and things that i can't handle are popping up every where. I can't sleep at night because I have so much to think about. I just am so mad at myself lately. I have been so consumed with whatever im doing. Like I feel like i talk my head off to people who really don't care to listen or when they do care to listen just simply don't know what to say to me like....I feel like im in positions that i shouldn't have gotten into. Theres sitations that i wish never occurred but something in me wants them to happen again. Maybe its because im so consumed now.. with someone or something. Like It doesn't help that I only think the worst will happen. Like usually i am very to myself about everything but lately i just talk about everything to anyone who is willing to listen. i really wish i was to myself again. I wish i could just hold it inside of me instead of writing words or saying words in mixed sentances that i don't even understand. I guess it just sucks thinking someone or something is beautiful...because i guess thats really all i can think about is beauty and how everything has it but I can only see the beauty i want to.
I guess i need to put my everything into something.
Im in bits and pieces everywhere
ok ramble ramble ramble