Silence
Well, I can see by how long it's been from my last update that I have been in a time of silence and withdrawal. Every few months I just get tired of communicating with the world and withdraw. I don't update, I don't post. Most days I don't even go online to check email or webcomics. I even withdraw at home and tend not to go outside much.
Then after a few weeks something comes along to pull me back out. In this case I have been prompted to volunteer for extra tasks at church. First I agreed to help lead the handchime choir at church, and that starts up tomorrow. Then I agreed to cover an adult Sunday School class on liturgy and communion for a friend when she goes to her granddaughter's baptism in a week and a half. Those were okay; I've done similar things in the past and I should be fine with those.
Tonight, however, is the final thing I was persuaded to do: give the sermon for the healing service. I've led most parts of the service that a lay person can, but I've never given a sermon before. I'm trying not to be nervous. It's comforting to know that this service is accustomed to lay-led sermons. It's also comforting to know that it will be a fairly small crowd. But it doesn't keep the social anxiety from making my body react in nervous ways. I have been praying about it, though, and I keep getting reassured that this is the right thing for me to do and that everything will be all right. So I will continue to step off in faith, trusting that what looks like a huge cliff to fall from is merely the next step on the path that God is leading me on.
Then after a few weeks something comes along to pull me back out. In this case I have been prompted to volunteer for extra tasks at church. First I agreed to help lead the handchime choir at church, and that starts up tomorrow. Then I agreed to cover an adult Sunday School class on liturgy and communion for a friend when she goes to her granddaughter's baptism in a week and a half. Those were okay; I've done similar things in the past and I should be fine with those.
Tonight, however, is the final thing I was persuaded to do: give the sermon for the healing service. I've led most parts of the service that a lay person can, but I've never given a sermon before. I'm trying not to be nervous. It's comforting to know that this service is accustomed to lay-led sermons. It's also comforting to know that it will be a fairly small crowd. But it doesn't keep the social anxiety from making my body react in nervous ways. I have been praying about it, though, and I keep getting reassured that this is the right thing for me to do and that everything will be all right. So I will continue to step off in faith, trusting that what looks like a huge cliff to fall from is merely the next step on the path that God is leading me on.