In the Company of Wolves
Title: In the Company of Wolves, Part V
Pairing: JA/JP, JP/OC
Rating: R for violence and language.
Warning: AU
Disclaimer: Complete fiction, and I'm hoping it stays that way.
Summary: The hemorrhagic fever has been discovered in Western Washington. The team assigned to stopping this virulent disease discovers not only was the plague deliberately introduced to the human population, but it may have been the government that began the tragedy.
Main Post
Day Five - Part III
Steve silently watched Chris as he dumped their bags onto the floor before kicking them under the bunk bed. “You still think it was a mistake coming here?”
“I know it was a mistake coming here,” Chris said. “We should’ve kept to the plan; hook up with our families and go north, to the Canadian Rockies.”
“And then what? Ride this out? You and I both know there’s no place on earth we could hide. Not even a remote island in the Pacific somewhere. If we’re going to do something, we make a stand here and now, with Jensen.”
“And Padalecki,” Chris added. “Seriously, would you trust your sister’s life to him? I wouldn’t.”
“Not just Padalecki, though. We got Miller here too. You’re going to tell me you have doubts about him?”
“No, I’m not. I’m not saying they’re incompetent, but … shit, Steve, you’ve seen the news. What the hell are we going to do here?”
“We’re going to do what we always do,” Steve answered.
“But we’re not in some third world country run by dime-store dictators,” Chris said. “Our kind of talent’s next to useless here.”
“Not for long,” Steve said. “For all we know…”
Chad entered the room without knocking and shut the door behind him. He handed his laptop to Steve and asked, “Do you know what that is?”
Steve looked at the ‘M’ next to the ID number and then the picture of Dr. Sterling Brown. Chris looked over his shoulder to read the screen.
“As far as I can figure it’s internal designation,” Steve said after a careful perusal. He scrolled down the screen and asked, “Where did you access this?”
“Through the databases we always use,” Chad answered. “Why you asking?”
“Did you google the guy?” Chris asked.
“Yeah, nada. The man’s a ghost.”
“That’s not right,” Chris said.
“I agree with Chris,” Steve said. “If he’s suppose to be so high up in the food chain, then it stands to reason he’s been noticed by the scientific community. He’s got to have published something about the Ebola virus for him to get assigned here.”
“I thought of that too,” Chad said. “So, you’re not familiar with this designation at all?”
“No, but I might know someone who does,” Chris said. “Hold on, let me make a call.”
Steve read Brown's biography that Homeland offered. “The man has extensive experience. I don’t think they’re lying about that.”
“Who’s they and why would 'they' lie in the first place?” Chad asked.
“They being whoever assigned Dr. Brown that particular designation. And they would lie plenty to keep him from being recognized into a pattern.”
“Pattern?” Chad asked. “You mean they - whoever they are - don’t want people to figure out what he’s doing?”
Steve nodded and said, “Look, people look at the word ‘doctor’ and immediately conclude the person practices medicine. In fact, he could have a Ph. D. or he could…”
“He is an actual doctor,” Chris said as he got of his cell. “You’re not going to like what I’m about to tell you.”
“Oh, I figured that the moment he stepped into my line of vision,” Chad said. “So, who is he and who does he work for?”
“Technically, he does work for Homeland, but that’s not all,” Chris said. “After 9/11, the government decided to create a hybrid branch of sorts between USARMIID and the C.D.C.. I don’t know the name of the department but it’s got broad spectrum of powers, including cherry-picking through whatever they want.”
“Even USARMIID?” Chad was stunned. “But that’s like flipping through the President’s underwear drawer. And I can’t believe the Army would sit by and let somebody make them their bitch.”
“They’ve got no choice,” Chris said. “Or at least that’s what I’m hearing. And this Brown guy is ex-military, sot the Army isn’t grumbling too loud.”
“Still not seeing the medical angle here.” Steve looked even more disturbed than Chad by the revelation.
“Brown has extensive experience dealing with contagious diseases, just not with medical groups headed by the likes of Miller and Padalecki.”
“But they go everywhere,” Chad said. “They get called in the moment a hot zone is ID’d. Where the hell would Brown go?”
“Places where the C.D.C. and WHO are never told about,” Chris said. “Shit like this hits the fan in first world countries too. Countries where stuff like this is used to develop biowarfare weaponry or medicine for people like you and me.”
“Jesus Christ,” Chad whispered. “You’re talking about Reston?”
“Reston was made public,” Chris answered. “What are the odds that was the only incident here in the States?”
“So, why didn’t they clean up this mess from the get-go?” Steve asked.
“Probably because everything went to hell too fast for them,” Chris replied. “It’s one thing when monkeys start dying behind cages, it’s something completely different when an entire hospital is laid to waste in matter of days.”
“Do you think Coughlin and Jorgensen worked for them?” Chad’s question garnished a quick glance from Steve.
“Maybe, maybe not,” Chris answered. “My buddy doesn’t know about that.”
“No, they didn’t,” Steve said, shaking his head. “Somehow Ignatius got under their radar.”
“How do you know?” Chris asked.
“Because if they were, then Brown and his buddies would’ve been able to come down on them like a ton of bricks the moment one of them sneezed. Remember, one of the first signs of Ebola infection is flu-like symptoms.”
Steve’s answer seemed to physically jolt Chad. “What is it?” Steve asked.
“What if they’re monitoring through medical databases?” Chad said. “Look, unless they’ve infiltrated every lab, they must have a way of keeping tabs on everyone. What better way than their own doctors? If these people get sick, then they go to their GP who’ll prescribe them whatever. And we both know neither Coughlin nor Jorgensen did. Maybe that’s how they managed not to get caught.”
“That’s pretty damn good guesswork,” Steve said. “But how does that help us?”
“With our database being held hostage, maybe we could tap into theirs.”
“Can you do that? How will you be able to access any of the material?”
“Simple,” Chad said, tapping Brown’s file on the screen. “We ask him.”
“He’s not going to admit or agree to any of this.” Steve said. “Especially now.”
“We have nothing to lose by asking,” Chris said. “And what choice do we have?”
Washington, DC
Kripke was pacing in the hallway, as his office was nothing but a cubicle rammed against the wall, surrounded by other cubicles. He heard the elevator ding open and rushed down the hall and around the corner. It took some maneuvering by his boss for them not to collide.
“What happened?” Eric asked breathlessly. “Did it go through?”
“Just like you said,” John answered. “They released the databases. We’ve got specialists going through to see what kind of damage’s been done.”
“Any rough guesses?”
“They think maybe thirty percent of the data’s been erased.”
“Thirty?” Eric leaned against the wall. “Holy shit, can the C.D.C. work with just seventy percent?”
“They’ve got no choice,” John replied. “It’s out of our hands now and into theirs.”
“How are they going to access the data now? Isn’t it too dangerous for an uplink?”
“As soon as they’re scrubbed, we’re going to manually fly the servers over to Bellevue. The C.D.C. can take over from there on. It should be safer that way.”
“Okay, then,” Eric said. “Anything else you want me to do?”
“I want you to stay in contact,” John said. “As soon as those bastards realize they’ve been screwed, they’re going to go on a rampage.”
“What’s the plan?” Eric asked. “Or is it only need-to-know basis?”
John hesitated only for a moment before answering. “We’re going to bring down the fuckers. The CIA has cleared it with the local authorities.”
“They were tracked?”
“Yes, and as soon as our men land, they’ll be arrested.”
Eric looked thoughtfully at his boss. “Where are they taking them?”
“Why are you asking?”
“Because we all know it’s not just the Daedalus that’s been compromised. The Army’s been compromised too, and that means there’s a traitor in Maryland.
“That can earn somebody the death penalty.”
“True, but that’s none of our concern. As you said, it’s the Army that’s been betrayed, and they have their own courts. They will deal with the mole as they see fit.”
Eric stared at John and realized what his boss wasn’t saying. “Jesus, they already have the guy?”
“Like I said, the Army keeps their own counsel, we keep ours. Besides, we’ll be slogging through tons of shit-work when this goes to court, so I suggest you not go looking for more than your share of grief.”
“Okay,” Eric said. “I guess I’ll be taking showers with my cell, then.”
“Something like that.” John gave a firm pat on Eric’s shoulder. “You did good, Kripke. You should be proud of yourself.”
“Thanks,” Eric said and quickly left his boss’ presence. As much as he admired John, there were moments when the man left him feeling unbalanced and steeped in fear. Now was one of those times.
Bellevue, Washington
Chad gave a loud whoop into the air. “The sons of bitches did it!”
Jared didn’t bother to look up from his computer. “Dare I ask what?”
“The Feds paid the ransom!”
That got everyone’s attention.
“Are you serious?” Jensen asked.
“Yeah, the servers are being scrubbed even as we speak, and then they’re going to be flown to Bellevue, pronto.” Chad forwarded the e-mail to the team. “Read it and weep.”
Jared scrolled down the brief missive. “Thirty-four percent. Jesus Christ, the sons of bitches didn’t waste any time.”
“No, they didn’t,” Jensen muttered, “but the damage isn’t catastrophic.”
“Either way, this is what we have so it’s what we’re going to have to work with.” Jared scrolled through the list of damaged files and mentally gave a sigh of relief. He had worked on some of them and had copies of his own.
Jeff entered the room and looked around. “I’m guessing you just heard the good news?”
“Yeah,” Jared answered. “What did you find?”
“The samples were tagged correctly,” Jeff answered. “The techs had the paperwork and I checked and rechecked them. So, whatever is happening isn’t because of human error.”
Jared leaned back into his chair and shared a knowing look with Jensen.
“I see none of this is news to either of you.” Jeff didn’t bother to hide his irritation as he snapped, “Which means you suspected it before you sent me. Would one of you geniuses like to tell me why the hell did I just spend three hours driving around, going through mounds of paperwork and red tape if you guys already knew the answer?”
“We couldn’t be sure,” Jared answered. “It really might have been human error though we doubted three different labs could make the same mistake.”
“What does this mean?” Jeff asked. “This thing’s mutating, right? Doesn’t that basically sound the death knell?”
“No,” Jensen said. “Not really. Though it’s mutating, this particular strand is mutating at the same rate, in the same manner.”
“Not all viruses do,” Jared added. “Like AIDS, for instance.”
“Okay, I've been around long enough to know mutation sucks but if you find the silver bullet for one, then you find it for all," Jeff muttered.
Steve looked at Jensen with wide eyes. “Holy shit, does that mean what I think it means?”
“Yeah, but it’s not as easy as it seems,” Jared countered.
“Of course not,” Chris said. “Still, better one-headed dragon than the Hydra.”
Jensen nodded in agreement. “Definitely.”
“What else?” Jeff prodded. “You guys are hiding something.”
Jared gave a grim look around the room. “We are starting to come to the conclusion that this particular strand of the filovirus didn’t come from a natural reservoir.”
“Whoa,” Chad said, raising his hands as if to ward off what his friend was saying. “You don’t know that. You can’t know that.”
“Actually, we kind of do,” Jensen whispered. “This thing’s been growing but at a rate we could almost set the clock. There’s no deviation as it mutates and multiplies: from point A to point B, and so forth.”
“We’re talking minutes here,” Jared added. “Mother Nature’s many things but she isn’t on the clock: human beings are.”
“Do you understand what you’re saying?” Jeff echoed Chad’s sentiments. “You’re thinking this was manmade? That some nefarious Cigarette Smoking Man pulled this shit?”
“Nothing so sinister,” Jared said. “We’re thinking this was a byproduct of another experiment. One that probably had monetary significance for Ignatius, which is why the company went so far to cover it up. But once the cat was out of the bag, there was nothing they could do to stop it.”
“But how the fuck did they get so far?” Chad asked. “We’re talking technology that Jared doesn't have access to. Or the C.D.C. for that matter. And I know Maryland isn’t as well equipped as us, so they’re out of the running.”
Steve looked around the room. "I’m just gonna say it. We all know Brown’s not who he says he is.”
“What makes you think that?” Jared asked.
“Well, for one, we made some calls,” Chris answered. “And the intel we got tells us the man’s playing by a whole different set of rules.”
Jensen’s gaze at his friends narrowed considerably. “Who’s we?”
Chad raised his hand and explained, “We were thinking about cornering the guy and making him share whatever database he’s got. But now that Daedalus is back...”
“Don’t think about doing that again,” Jared said harshly. “You fuck with that man and you’re liable to end up face down in a ditch somewhere.”
Jensen closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His eyes were still closed when he said, “You know him, don’t you, Jared? Did he get his claws into you like Wentworth? What did he give in return for your cooperation?”
Jared paled considerably as everyone stared at Jensen in shock before turning their gazes towards him. He looked down at his laptop then to Chad whose wounded look made him feel even worse.
“He came to the lab the summer of 2002,” Jared finally said. “He had something about you Jeff: some information that could shut down the lab.”
Jeff looked at his hands and hissed, "Motherfucker. That intel was supposed to be destroyed ten years ago."
“What was the deal?” Steve asked gently. "Did he ask you to work on something similar to this?"
“It wasn’t a filovirus.” Jared looked at Steve as if he was given a lifeline. “It was hantavirus. I thought the material came from Four Corners. But then I looked at the mutation and realized it couldn't be first generation.”
Chris looked at Jensen. “First generation? What does that mean?”
“Viruses mutate, and with each mutation we tag a new generational number. That way we can identify viruses using cross-generational tables.” Jensen looked at Jared. “Was it biowarfare grade?”
Jared shook his head. “No, that was the weird part. It was pretty much like the common flu. Nasty, but it wouldn’t have generated the death rate that hantavirus did in ‘93.”
“But you’re sure it was hantavirus?” Chad asked. “How could it be if it didn’t have the same kill rate?”
“Because of the symptoms,” Jensen said. “Some of the symptoms had to have been the same.”
Jared nodded, “Yeah, the case files indicated an onset of what looked like acute pulmonary failure, but then the body’s immune system somehow managed to adapt and fight the pathogen.”
“Making it look like a flu but, in reality, it was hantavirus.” Jensen finished Jared’s explanation. His eyes widened considerably as he looked at Jared. “Holy shit, it’s negative-sense RNA, right? That would mean after it was translated, it somehow lost its punch?”
Jared nodded eagerly. “Yes, which is why I thought it was a weapon. Because, after its initial introduction, it would lose its punch and people wouldn’t be the wiser. Think about it: they could attribute it to something else than a hantavirus.”
“That wouldn’t work here, though,” Chris said slowly. “Because our hospitals are alerted to the damn thing, especially after what happened in Four Corners.”
Jared shook his head. “Not necessarily. Not if it was masked somehow. Maybe introduced with another virus, something that would give off a bigger flare, making the doctors think they got the culprit, when, in reality, the real thing gets away, unnoticed.”
“But what would that achieve?” Chad asked. “Why introduce it in the first place when it doesn’t kill or…”
“Because it can mutate.” Jensen took off his glasses and rubbed his face. “The goddamn thing can mutate down the line and become a full-blown epidemic. By that time it’d be too late because the number of people who have been exposed to the ‘flu’ would be in the thousands. Think about it, how many people end up in hospitals during the flu season? And, remember, It’s a pulmonary disease so people will become completely incapacitated, especially medical personnel since they’re the ones who usually get hit first during flu season. And without them, the rest of the human population becomes a sitting duck.”
“You need specialists to treat hantavirus,” Jared explained. “A practicing internist won’t do. It’s a disease that requires specific treatment with specific follow-ups. If one, and just one, part of the treatment falls through … everything falls apart. It’s the domino effect.”
“Which makes it biowarfare,” Sterling said from his position in the doorway. “I knew I could trust Dr. Padalecki to tell the truth.”
“What the fuck is going on?” Jared stood up, his anger completely shining through his tone and body language. “What in hell did you bastards do?”
“What we did was move too slow,” Sterling said. “We had no idea what was happening at Ignatius until CNN came on, and by then it was too late.”
“How is that possible?” Jensen walked next to Jared, placing a restraining grip on the man’s forearm.
“We fucked up,” Sterling sat down, his movement slow like an old man. “We never started this. We just collect the goddamn things and try to find ways to neutralize it.”
“Why not tell the C.D.C. or WHO?”
“And then have it leaked to the press? Do you have any idea what kind of mass panic that would result if the public knew we’ve been fighting biowarfare for over a decade?”
“That long?” Chris asked. “How is it possible that nobody knew?”
“Because we piecemealed the intel to a wide variety of labs, some like Dr. Padalecki’s, others like Ignatius.”
“What happened here?” Jensen asked.
“We think their sample was cross-contaminated,” Sterling answered. “Somehow, they managed to get a live specimen infected with Ebola, and got it translated with what we gave them.”
“And what did you give them, exactly?” Jared asked.
“The same thing we gave you.”
“What?” Jared’s anger dissipated under his confusion. “You gave them hantavirus?”
“Yes, because it was the one that worried us the most,” Sterling said. “All the other samples were, at best, future-grade: that is something that needed more research down the road. The goddamn hantavirus was here and now, and the death toll could easily reach millions if the sequencing was properly done.”
“So, they got the sample, you got the sample,” Jensen looked at the folders scattered all over the desk. “But they got it right, in a way.”
“What do you mean?” Brown asked.
“They found the masking agent, but not for the hantavirus.” Jensen flipped through the piles of folders until he found the right one. He pulled out the pictures and placed them on a board. “Remember them? Remember what they were put away for?”
Jared suddenly felt like he was slammed against a brick wall. “Oh my God, Jorgensen and Coughlin found out who made the goddamn thing. They went to the source.”
“And discovered a way to mask the virus,” Jensen finished Jared’s train of thought.
“But those assholes are in jail or dead!” Chad cried out.
“Doesn’t matter. If their theories were right, then any decent lab could duplicate their work and move it forward.” Jared took the photographs. “But why did Jorgensen and Coughlin take it one step further?”
“Because we asked them to,” Sterling answered in a thin voice. “Jesus Christ, they actually solved the goddamn thing and it killed them?”
“What did you ask them to do, exactly?” Chris asked. “‘Cause it sounds a lot like you asked them build the Armageddon Bomb.”
“No, not really.” Jensen looked carefully at Sterling. “Because hantavirus is also negative-sense RNA virus, like Ebola.”
“What?” Chad looked pole-axed. “Are you serious?”
“So, they went to the people who created the goddamn thing, found out what they were up to, and decided to do one better by what? Instead of playing with firecrackers, they went to see if they could dismantle the atom bomb?” Steve looked at Jensen. “Does that sound sane to you? In this fucking day and age?”
“Yes, if they thought the virus was already introduced to the human population,” Jensen said. “Or they were afraid it was going to be in the near future. If they thought the atom bomb was already ticking, then yeah, they would make that leap.”
“But why not tell you?” Chad looked at Sterling. “Why not scream for help when they started putting the pieces together?”
“Because they didn’t want to lose the glory. They also knew that if they told Sterling’s outfit - they’d be dead in a day, if not less.” Jared’s tone was intense but mechanical. “So they were scared. They figured if they dismantled the atom bomb, then maybe Sterling and his buddies would let them live.”
“That’s also why the samples aren’t going the way we thought they would.” Jensen turned to Jared. “Remember? We thought it was contamination or mislabeling, but it wasn’t. The goddamn thing is acting like the sample you got - it’s trying to fade away, hide.”
“But it can’t, of course.” Jared concluded. “The fucking thing isn’t a goddamn flu, it’s a filovirus.”
“Okay, so…” Chad took a deep breath. “Where is it, then?”
“Where is what?” Sterling asked.
“The silver fucking bullet!” Chad yelled on top of his voice. “They fucking found a way to build the goddamn atom bomb so that means they found a way to stop this shit from killing all of us, or was pretty damn close to it!
"So, where’s the fucking bullet?!”
Everyone stared at Chad with wide eyes. It was Jared who spoke first.
“Holy shit, he’s right.” Jared turned to Sterling. “How far have you gotten into decoding?”
“I’m almost done,” Sterling said. “But I haven’t found anything that would reflect the level of success you’re talking about.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” Jensen said. “They found the masking agent, they found a way to slip the goddamn thing into the human stream without getting noticed, and they found a way to unmask it because they went to the genocidal lunatics who made it in the first place and learned how.”
“Which all points to success, or something close to.” Sterling stood up. “But it’s not in their notes, I swear.”
“It’s right in front of our faces,” Jared said. “We’re just not seeing it.”
“Alice Dunrea.” Jensen ran to his work station and tore through it. “The memory stick.”
“But we downloaded everything. There’s nothing in there we don’t already know,” Jared said.
Jensen found it and looked at it under a scope. “There’s something wrong with the casing.”
Sterling took a glance. “It’s been taken apart and put back together.”
Jared handed Sterling a scalpel which the man used to disassemble the stick. It didn’t take him long to find a miniscule chip. “Can we download from this?”
Chad shoved Sterling aside and looked. “Jesus Christ, yes. Give me ten minutes.”
The men in the room weren’t usually the ones to stand aside, but given no choice they had to sit back and watch as Chad hummed various rock tunes while setting up his station to download the information.
“Here it is,” Chad whispered as all computer screens went live with data.
June, 2003
Easton, Maryland, sixty minutes outside of DC
Jensen looked at his suit with a critical eye. He knew he was overdressed for work, but it was his first day and it paid to make a good impression. Jensen just entered the main lobby when he saw a woman with a child going into the elevators.
Jensen frowned. He knew the rest of the building wasn’t so tightly locked down as the basement lab, but children were usually not allowed to enter a building where the government held enough interest to place armed military security checkpoints on each floor.
The elevator stopped with the usual bone-jarring crash and Jensen toppled out of the car, wondering if it was deliberately programmed to give such joyrides. Feeling anticipation rise, Jensen hastily ran his hands through his hair and tightened his tie.
First day in what’s going to be one hell of a life, he thought as the door to the lab opened. Jensen took one step in and came to an abrupt halt, only to be forced to move into the room when the door actually slammed him on his ass as it closed. Jared was looking through a reference book: that in it of itself wasn’t surprising. What took Jensen’s breath away was the fact Jared was dressed to kill. Wearing black suit, dark grey shirt that Jensen knew was made of pure silk, and sporting a black and grey striped silk tie, Doctor Jared Padalecki looked like he just came off a Milan runway.
Jensen's new boss noticed him and said, “Oh thank God, so you got Sam’s message?”
Jensen’s reply was nowhere near coherent and sounded something like, “bzuh?”
“I know it’s stupid but we have to make a good impression, you know? Especially since the ratio of women to men in our particular field is like what? Thirty-five to one? Forty to one?”
“I’m sorry … what are you talking about?”
“You didn’t get Sam’s voicemail?”
“No, what is it? Is there an emergency budget meeting?” Jensen paused for a moment then added in a thin voice, “Is the President coming?”
“No, today is ‘Take Your Daughter to Work Day’.”
“I’m sorry, I must have misheard you. It’s ‘Take Your Daughter to Work Day’?” Jensen’s good mood had dissipated by this time and was quickly being replaced with agitation.
“You don’t know about…”
“No, I do,” Jensen interrupted. “But what does that have to do with us?”
“Umm … well, it follows to reason that since people procreate, even here, there is a chance that one of the children will be female. Hence…”
Jensen knew he must look comical with his mouth dangling open and his eyes wide enough give him a headache, but what Jared was suggesting was inconceivable to him.
“Are you telling me we have children in the lab?” he whispered, shocked.
“Of course not!” Jared looked affronted by the idea. “The kids are in my office, watching some footage Ben took while we were in the Philippines.”
“What?!”
“Dude, they’re Ben’s kids. He should know what they should and shouldn’t watch. Anyway, it’s actually Sam’s daughters. She’s got two and they’re really interested in this stuff. So, she’s going to bring them and some of her colleagues’ older kids here in an hour.
“I thought we could you know give them a tour: show them what we do and how exciting it all is. They’re going to get a huge kick out of the space suits.”
“Please tell me you’re fucking with me.”
“I most certainly am.”
“You sick bastard!” Jensen wheezed out before collapsing into the nearest chair.
“Welcome to your first day in hell, buddy!” Jared crowed and slapped Jensen on the shoulder. “Jesus Christ, you should’ve seen the look on your face. Oh, wait, you can! Ben, get your skinny ass out here!”
Ben stepped out from the stacks, grinning madly and aiming a video cam at Jensen. “Dr. Jensen Ross Ackles, you’ve just been punk’d.”
“You do this to all your newbies?” Jensen asked, mockingly glaring at the two men.
“Only the ones we want to keep. As for the one we don’t like: we tell them there’s an infected monkey on the loose, then later shut them in a locker room with one,” Ben said, still smiling like a madman as he fiddled with the video camera’s controls. “Best entertainment not even money can buy. And no, the monkey wasn’t infected, just not been fed for twenty-four hours.”
“Holy shit!”
“Just once,” Jared confessed. “And it wasn’t this lab.”
“How come I never heard about it?”
“Because the person we pulled the prank on deserved it, and more.” Jared looked at the video recording and smiled. “This is awesome. You want a copy?”
Jensen flipped them the bird. “So, besides recuperating from a heart attack, what do you want me to do today?”
Jared pointed at a desk with a stack of binders and said, “All yours. Get familiarized with the material. There isn’t going to be a quiz but trust me, you’ll be tested when we fly out.”
“Fly out? Are we going somewhere?”
“Not sure yet,” Jared said, “but I recommend you read quickly.”
“Okay, I’ll get right on that.”
Jensen made himself comfortable in the ergonomically designed chair and began flipping through the first binder. But he also gave appreciative glances at Jared who remained across the room, busily going through medical journals.
Jensen forced himself to admit that he wasn’t sure if he made the right decision accepting the position in Padalecki’s lab. Working under someone like Jared was a new experience for him. His former bosses were all drained of humor and would probably gnaw their arms off before pulling a prank like Jared did. And, there was the little fact that Jensen was undeniably attracted to him. He knew better than to act on his desire, but there was the little niggling idea that Jared was equally interested in him.
Jensen took a deep breath to clear his head of his more salacious thoughts. Turning his focus onto the reading material spread out in front of him, Jensen didn’t catch Jared’s tilted glance at him.
Jared loosened the knot in his tie and sat back in his chair and propped up his feet on the desk. Now that Jensen was on-board with the team, Jared was feeling both elated and nervous. UCSD, with discovering of Jared’s offer, had given Jensen one of their own. It was without doubt very generous and designed to tempt Jensen into staying in his comfort zone. After all, research scientists were notorious for shunning changes in their work habits and would compromise a great deal to keep status quo.
Jensen, however, was not like his brethren. Uprooting himself clear across the country, Jensen took a job that was technically a downgrade from his position in UCSD where he ran his own lab, working at a pace he set for himself, and, most importantly, publishing articles where his name got top-billing and thus all the attention from the scientific community. Now, he would be second in all things, even publications since technically he worked in Jared’s lab, and that meant Jared’s name would probably trump his with the journals. Jared also knew none of this mattered to Jensen: not when Jensen’s primary focus was to get field experience.
Jared puzzled over that for a long time. Granted, even if Jensen was actually that eager to work outside the lab, it didn’t mean he would continue to want the experience after he got a taste of what was really out there. Jungles were filled with things that could kill you besides the virus; outlaws and murderers running the government, not to mention the local law enforcement. And then there were the infected patients.
It's one thing to dissect specimens in a laboratory, it's whole another level of hell when you were forced to deal with infected people who knew they were badly off but not exactly by how much. By the time Jared and his team arrived, the infection had run amok and people were already quarantined, usually in makeshift hospices. In a single cramped room, there would be corpses that the caretakers would refuse to touch out of fear and those who were rattling out their last breaths. But what was the worst were the new patients who were forced to stay amongst the dead and the demented, coming to the horrifying realization that this was what their future would most likely be.
So, when they saw American doctors, they would plead, threaten or try to barter what little they had for the magic bullet that would spare them such a horrific end. When they were finally convinced that no such cure exists, they would silently implode, and would become almost docile in their placidness. Jared didn’t know if Jensen could take in such horrors and process them in a manner that would allow him to continue to function usefully.
Who the fuck am I kidding?
Jared closed his eyes and leaned back further. He knew the greatest fear of his wasn’t the fact that Jensen might be next to useless in the field. He was pretty damn good at measuring people before sending them out and his instincts told him Jensen would pull his weight and then some.
No, what scared him was the fact that he wanted Jensen. After the debacle that was his brief but passionate affair with Sandy, the last thing he needed was to repeat it. And, yet, here he was, actually dancing around the idea of starting yet another relationship with someone who literally just walked in the door.
There was also the fact that Jensen was not his type. The man was beautiful, but that was the norm for someone like Jared who had a healthy appreciation for eye candy. It was the fact that Jensen was so retiring, not like Jared who worked hard and partied harder. After years of seeing people die for the littlest of things, Jared had learned to take what he could, whenever possible. And that meant long nights in various bars and clubs, alongside some of the most irreverent and raucous group of people in D.C..
Dr. Jensen Ross Ackles didn’t fit that billing. Jared asked around and found the man hardly went to parties unless forced to do so. As for his personal life: it was even a bigger secret than how Chad managed to win and keep a girlfriend like Sophia. Nobody seemed to know if Jensen was single or attached. If he was gay or straight or bi or polyamorous. In fact, nobody seemed to know what Jensen did on the weekends save for the fact that the man spent inordinate amount time at work, even on Sundays. Jared had gotten so desperate for any information that he even tapped people who knew Jensen while the doctor attended Georgetown.
And got bupkis.
Jensen was “quiet”, “diligent”, a “true genius”. But nary a picture of him doing body shots, or chugging a keg, or even sitting next to Danneel. The best description Jared got was from an acquaintance who was in the same class as Jensen.
“Ackles flew under the radar, and I think, no, I know he did it on purpose. Something made it so that he doesn’t like to be singled out. And I don’t want to know what it was because I get the feeling if I did - I’d punch something.”
Jared strained forward and snatched Jensen’s personnel file. He flipped it open and perused it for the hundredth time. The man’s academic record was stellar but he was ranked fourth, which allowed him to avoid making any public speeches. He then applied to UCSD where he was given a small lab; he ran that so efficiently that his spending steadily increased without much fanfare from the university. Even his publications increased at a rate that didn’t warrant much review. However, the material he was publishing: that was completely different matter.
RNA research had gained attention from the research community in the last four years. This increase in visibility could almost be remarked the exact same time as when Jensen began to publish his findings using the Ebola virus. Before, he had used fruit flies and his results gained him respect amongst his peers. However, it was when he started applying himself with the deadly contagion that the field RNA research began to get more than just a second glance from the rest of the world.
Little wonder then UCSD was willing to lift its skirts, Jared thought with contempt. He looked down at Jensen’s security photo and wondered how the hell the man looked so damn good. University security photos were notorious for turning people into the bell-ringer of Notre Dame. As Chad had once angrily stated when he laid eyes on his ID:
“We all look like fucking pedophiles, even you!”
And yet, here was Dr. Jensen Ross Ackles, wearing what had to be the ugliest pair of glasses in North America and still looking quite delectable.
Looks like a peach, ripe and hanging low, just waiting to be picked.
“Dude, you hungry?”
Jared lost balance and tipped backwards, slamming the back of his skull on the bookshelves situated behind his desk before spilling out of his chair.
“Jesus Christ!” Chad scrambled around Jared’s desk and kneeled next to his friend. “Don’t move, I think I heard your skull crack open.”
“Fuck off, Chad,” Jared whimpered and gingerly checked the back of his head. His fingers found the tender spot immediately.
“Should I get help?”
Jensen’s question wanted Jared to crawl under his desk and stay there. Of course the man he’d been fantasizing about was right there to witness Jared demonstrating how many chromosomes he lacked.
“No, I’m fine,” Jared said and slowly sat up. Mercifully there was no bleeding and his head wasn’t spinning. With a deep breath he stood up and then remembered his chair was flat on its side. Chad bent down and picked it up.
“You broke it,” Chad said as he upended the chair and pointed to no less than two wheels that snapped off at the base. “How many chairs is that now?”
“Shut up,” Jared muttered, looking at Jensen with sheepish grin.
“You destroy office furniture as a hobby?” Jensen asked with a bright smile.
“This man’s a walking wrecking ball,” Chad said. “That is until he gets into the no-zone. Of course, there isn’t any office furniture in there for him to destroy.”
“The no-zone?”
“The lab,” Jared explained. “We call it the no-zone because there’s no sudden movements, no running, no eating, no drinking.”
“I see: the no-zone.”
Jared didn’t think it was possible but Jensen’s smile got brighter, so it took him a moment to remember he had a question. “So, what’s this about food?”
“Oh, we were going to grab coffee at the cafeteria,” Chad said. “We wondered if you wanted to come.”
“Didn’t you just come back from a cigarette break?” Jared asked.
“That was thirty minutes ago,” Chad said. “Anyway, I have everything on remote monitoring so I can get coffee without your precious lab falling to pieces.”
“I’ll join you,” Jared said as he put aside the broken chair.
“Give me the wheels,” Jensen said as he held out his hand.
“Why?”
“I can repair broken furniture,” Jensen said. “You won’t believe how big a cheapskate UCSD is. They wouldn’t replace any of the office furniture unless it was nuked.”
“Okay,” Jared said as he handed over the snapped wheels. “But I can’t what you could do with these.”
Jensen’s reply was a raised eyebrow.
The three men made a quick dash to the cafeteria and were back in less than ten minutes. Even though Ben was an old hand, none of them felt right leaving him by himself. Jensen returned to his reading while Jared absconded with Ben’s chair. He figured if and when the tech wanted it, he’d come and get it.
In spite of his better sense, Jared finally asked Jensen out for a drink after patiently waiting for a month. Jensen’s answer was a breezy if also a happy ‘yes’. And when Jared asked him out to dinner, Jensen seemed more than receptive to the idea. It didn’t take long after that for their relationship to turn from something casual to a more serious involvement. So, when Jared asked three months later to make their relationship public, Jensen agreed readily enough.
And yet, no matter how much time they spent together or how many conversations they had about their most private thoughts, Jensen was still something of an enigma. Initially Jared believed it was an air that Jensen had cultivated, but he soon realized that Jensen always kept himself a little distant, as if that slight separation was necessary for Jensen to function properly.
It didn’t take long for Jared to feel betrayed though he knew he shouldn’t feel that way. Nonetheless, his ego had little problem using that hurt for Jared to start looking for people who wouldn’t be able to keep him at arm’s length. But, every time he came home after a rendezvous he would remember what a lucky bastard he was, and that maybe the coolness was not of Jensen’s making but something originating in his somewhat vulnerable psyche.
Unfortunately, his guilt only fueled his anger and Jared would soon look for another target to sooth his bruised ego.
March 2004
When the doorbell rang Jared thought it was Jensen and that the man had lost his keys. Again. But, as Jared made his way down the front hall, he heard a muffled woman's voice, presumably speaking into a cell. Jared cautiously opened the door and was stunned to find Sandy standing on the steps, wrapped in an oversized ski jacket.
“Sandy, what’s wrong?” Jared asked and moved aside to let her in.
“This won’t take long,” Sandy said with a tired sigh. “I just came to say I’m permanently resigning from my position.”
“Wait, why?” Jared asked. “I told you, your position…”
“Fuck my job,” Sandy said. “I’m tired of doing what we’re doing or were doing. I guess … I guess I made a choice and I’ve chosen my husband and our family.”
“Wait a minute,” Jared said. “You can’t just push me out of your life. If I’m the father…”
“If you are, then what?” Sandy challenged harshly. “What are you going to do Jared? Make an honest woman out of me? Really? You’re willing to tell Jensen what you’ve done? What you’re still doing?”
“Sandy, where is this coming from?” Jared couldn’t control his panic any longer. “I thought we decided to wait until the baby’s first birthday before we made any serious decisions.”
“You made the decision when you locked me out of the lab!”
“My God, is that what this is about? What the fuck, Sandy? You know what can happen to a fetus when it’s exposed…”
“It’s not an it! It’s a boy! Jesus Christ, how the hell can you even think you’re ready for fatherhood when you can’t even call the baby by his name?!”
“Let’s not do this, just come inside. We can…”
“No, we can’t. I just came here to tell you I’m quitting. As for your rights? If I don’t ask for any financial support or make any claims, your rights are pretty much nil. You can take me to court but we both know you won’t risk losing Jensen over this. Am I right?”
Jared’s brief silence was enough of an answer for both of them.
“And that’s what I thought,” Sandy said. “I told Jason about us.”
“What?”
“I told Jason because God knows he deserves some honesty and respect from me. And do you know what he said? He doesn’t care. He doesn’t fucking care that I … I … did that to him, and that Sam might not be his. He loves me. And he loves Sam because at least half of him is mine, and that was good enough.” Sandy took huge gulps of breath as she began crying. “Tell me, do you love me that much?”
“Sandy, please, don’t do this.”
“We have to grow up, Jared. And if you won’t, then I will. It’s over. Don’t worry about Sam and me,” Sandy said. “I love this baby, much more than I have ever loved anyone, and that includes you. That’s why I have to grow up. That’s why I have to end this because I won’t drag Sam into this sordid mess. My son deserves the best, and I’m going to make sure he gets it.
“And I’m sorry to say, the last thing he needs right now is you.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m applying for a teaching position,” Sandy said.
“Where?” Jared asked. “Maybe I can pull some strings.”
“Emory,” Sandy answered. “And I’d be grateful if you could release my work record so human resources could review my CV.”
“The declassified one, of course.”
“Yeah,” Sandy managed a wan smile at the old joke. “If they ever read the classified one, they’d keel over from a heart attack.”
“It’ll be available by tomorrow morning.”
“Thank you, Jared,” Sandy said. She then tiptoed and kissed him on his cheek. “I know you can’t see it right now, but this is the best for all of us. We’ll both be able to move on now, and we can stop hurting the people who love us in spite of the fact that we don’t deserve it.”
“I still want to know if Sam’s mine,” Jared said. “Please, I have to know.”
Sandy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll do a cheek swab for the paternity test.”
“Thank you.”
“Good-bye, Jared.”
Jared closed the door only after he saw Sandy get into her car and drive away. He barely made it to the living room before his legs gave way. It wasn't until his watch started beeping that Jared realized he would have less than twenty minutes before Jensen came home. Jared managed to get up and return to the kitchen where he was cooking his famous Texas stew for dinner. He opened a bottle of red wine and polished off two glasses before he felt somewhat in control of himself.
He heard Jensen enter and quickly began cutting the bread.
“Hey, that smells good!” Jensen carelessly dumped his bag onto the floor and leaned over to kiss Jared.
“Thanks,” Jared said. “Want a glass?”
“Please!”
Jared filled a glass and handed it to Jensen who immediately noticed his shaky grip.
“You okay?” Jensen asked.
“Yeah, I guess I might be coming down with whatever Chad’s having,” Jared answered.
“Oh God, I hope not.”
“His cold, you ass,” Jared said with a small smile.
“What is this?” Jensen asked, lifting the lid off the pot to get a deep sniff.
“My brother’s famous Texas stew.”
“Texas doesn’t have a stew,” Jensen said, looking curious and cautious at the same time as he stirred the pot.
“More like chili with lots and lots of meat,” Jared explained. “But it’s good.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” Jensen said. “Let me get out of this monkey suit.”
“I thought you were the type who liked wearing suits.”
“I’ve been wearing it since before sunrise.”
“Point,” Jared took the ladle from Jensen and took a taste. “It’s done!”
Jensen grabbed his glass and swiftly walked out of the kitchen. Jared closed his eyes and took deep breaths.
I can do this. I have to do this. Jensen can never know why. I won’t lose him. I can’t lose him.
With the words ‘I can’t lose him’ echoing inside his skull, Jared set the table. For the rest of the evening Jared felt like Jensen would somehow find out he’d been cheating. That he just might have an illegitimate son out there. Jared didn’t know how Jensen would react to such news, but he could guess it would be unfavorable to say the least. Jensen, in spite of all his posturing, was at heart a very conservative man. His homosexuality didn’t get in the way of his religious beliefs or his respect for the family. Jared wondered if Jensen would one day want a child of his own. Maybe find a surrogate mother so he would have a son or a daughter who would inherit his green eyes or his hair that turned honey blond during the summer months.
For reasons that remained unclear to Jared the musings about Jensen’s fictional child made him feel a lot better, and by the time he found himself curling around Jensen in their California king bed, Jared almost felt like he could come to terms with Sandy’s decision. After all, she wasn’t too far off the mark when she blamed both of them for the mess they were in. And he knew she wasn’t lying when she said she loved Sam. If that meant she had to protect the baby from the unsavory truth about his parents, then Jared couldn’t fault her for it. He probably would have done the same thing if he were in her place. And with more rage.
Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen's sleeping form and repeatedly whispered, "Forgive me" and "I love you."
Part IV * Part VI
Pairing: JA/JP, JP/OC
Rating: R for violence and language.
Warning: AU
Disclaimer: Complete fiction, and I'm hoping it stays that way.
Summary: The hemorrhagic fever has been discovered in Western Washington. The team assigned to stopping this virulent disease discovers not only was the plague deliberately introduced to the human population, but it may have been the government that began the tragedy.
Main Post
Day Five - Part III
Steve silently watched Chris as he dumped their bags onto the floor before kicking them under the bunk bed. “You still think it was a mistake coming here?”
“I know it was a mistake coming here,” Chris said. “We should’ve kept to the plan; hook up with our families and go north, to the Canadian Rockies.”
“And then what? Ride this out? You and I both know there’s no place on earth we could hide. Not even a remote island in the Pacific somewhere. If we’re going to do something, we make a stand here and now, with Jensen.”
“And Padalecki,” Chris added. “Seriously, would you trust your sister’s life to him? I wouldn’t.”
“Not just Padalecki, though. We got Miller here too. You’re going to tell me you have doubts about him?”
“No, I’m not. I’m not saying they’re incompetent, but … shit, Steve, you’ve seen the news. What the hell are we going to do here?”
“We’re going to do what we always do,” Steve answered.
“But we’re not in some third world country run by dime-store dictators,” Chris said. “Our kind of talent’s next to useless here.”
“Not for long,” Steve said. “For all we know…”
Chad entered the room without knocking and shut the door behind him. He handed his laptop to Steve and asked, “Do you know what that is?”
Steve looked at the ‘M’ next to the ID number and then the picture of Dr. Sterling Brown. Chris looked over his shoulder to read the screen.
“As far as I can figure it’s internal designation,” Steve said after a careful perusal. He scrolled down the screen and asked, “Where did you access this?”
“Through the databases we always use,” Chad answered. “Why you asking?”
“Did you google the guy?” Chris asked.
“Yeah, nada. The man’s a ghost.”
“That’s not right,” Chris said.
“I agree with Chris,” Steve said. “If he’s suppose to be so high up in the food chain, then it stands to reason he’s been noticed by the scientific community. He’s got to have published something about the Ebola virus for him to get assigned here.”
“I thought of that too,” Chad said. “So, you’re not familiar with this designation at all?”
“No, but I might know someone who does,” Chris said. “Hold on, let me make a call.”
Steve read Brown's biography that Homeland offered. “The man has extensive experience. I don’t think they’re lying about that.”
“Who’s they and why would 'they' lie in the first place?” Chad asked.
“They being whoever assigned Dr. Brown that particular designation. And they would lie plenty to keep him from being recognized into a pattern.”
“Pattern?” Chad asked. “You mean they - whoever they are - don’t want people to figure out what he’s doing?”
Steve nodded and said, “Look, people look at the word ‘doctor’ and immediately conclude the person practices medicine. In fact, he could have a Ph. D. or he could…”
“He is an actual doctor,” Chris said as he got of his cell. “You’re not going to like what I’m about to tell you.”
“Oh, I figured that the moment he stepped into my line of vision,” Chad said. “So, who is he and who does he work for?”
“Technically, he does work for Homeland, but that’s not all,” Chris said. “After 9/11, the government decided to create a hybrid branch of sorts between USARMIID and the C.D.C.. I don’t know the name of the department but it’s got broad spectrum of powers, including cherry-picking through whatever they want.”
“Even USARMIID?” Chad was stunned. “But that’s like flipping through the President’s underwear drawer. And I can’t believe the Army would sit by and let somebody make them their bitch.”
“They’ve got no choice,” Chris said. “Or at least that’s what I’m hearing. And this Brown guy is ex-military, sot the Army isn’t grumbling too loud.”
“Still not seeing the medical angle here.” Steve looked even more disturbed than Chad by the revelation.
“Brown has extensive experience dealing with contagious diseases, just not with medical groups headed by the likes of Miller and Padalecki.”
“But they go everywhere,” Chad said. “They get called in the moment a hot zone is ID’d. Where the hell would Brown go?”
“Places where the C.D.C. and WHO are never told about,” Chris said. “Shit like this hits the fan in first world countries too. Countries where stuff like this is used to develop biowarfare weaponry or medicine for people like you and me.”
“Jesus Christ,” Chad whispered. “You’re talking about Reston?”
“Reston was made public,” Chris answered. “What are the odds that was the only incident here in the States?”
“So, why didn’t they clean up this mess from the get-go?” Steve asked.
“Probably because everything went to hell too fast for them,” Chris replied. “It’s one thing when monkeys start dying behind cages, it’s something completely different when an entire hospital is laid to waste in matter of days.”
“Do you think Coughlin and Jorgensen worked for them?” Chad’s question garnished a quick glance from Steve.
“Maybe, maybe not,” Chris answered. “My buddy doesn’t know about that.”
“No, they didn’t,” Steve said, shaking his head. “Somehow Ignatius got under their radar.”
“How do you know?” Chris asked.
“Because if they were, then Brown and his buddies would’ve been able to come down on them like a ton of bricks the moment one of them sneezed. Remember, one of the first signs of Ebola infection is flu-like symptoms.”
Steve’s answer seemed to physically jolt Chad. “What is it?” Steve asked.
“What if they’re monitoring through medical databases?” Chad said. “Look, unless they’ve infiltrated every lab, they must have a way of keeping tabs on everyone. What better way than their own doctors? If these people get sick, then they go to their GP who’ll prescribe them whatever. And we both know neither Coughlin nor Jorgensen did. Maybe that’s how they managed not to get caught.”
“That’s pretty damn good guesswork,” Steve said. “But how does that help us?”
“With our database being held hostage, maybe we could tap into theirs.”
“Can you do that? How will you be able to access any of the material?”
“Simple,” Chad said, tapping Brown’s file on the screen. “We ask him.”
“He’s not going to admit or agree to any of this.” Steve said. “Especially now.”
“We have nothing to lose by asking,” Chris said. “And what choice do we have?”
Washington, DC
Kripke was pacing in the hallway, as his office was nothing but a cubicle rammed against the wall, surrounded by other cubicles. He heard the elevator ding open and rushed down the hall and around the corner. It took some maneuvering by his boss for them not to collide.
“What happened?” Eric asked breathlessly. “Did it go through?”
“Just like you said,” John answered. “They released the databases. We’ve got specialists going through to see what kind of damage’s been done.”
“Any rough guesses?”
“They think maybe thirty percent of the data’s been erased.”
“Thirty?” Eric leaned against the wall. “Holy shit, can the C.D.C. work with just seventy percent?”
“They’ve got no choice,” John replied. “It’s out of our hands now and into theirs.”
“How are they going to access the data now? Isn’t it too dangerous for an uplink?”
“As soon as they’re scrubbed, we’re going to manually fly the servers over to Bellevue. The C.D.C. can take over from there on. It should be safer that way.”
“Okay, then,” Eric said. “Anything else you want me to do?”
“I want you to stay in contact,” John said. “As soon as those bastards realize they’ve been screwed, they’re going to go on a rampage.”
“What’s the plan?” Eric asked. “Or is it only need-to-know basis?”
John hesitated only for a moment before answering. “We’re going to bring down the fuckers. The CIA has cleared it with the local authorities.”
“They were tracked?”
“Yes, and as soon as our men land, they’ll be arrested.”
Eric looked thoughtfully at his boss. “Where are they taking them?”
“Why are you asking?”
“Because we all know it’s not just the Daedalus that’s been compromised. The Army’s been compromised too, and that means there’s a traitor in Maryland.
“That can earn somebody the death penalty.”
“True, but that’s none of our concern. As you said, it’s the Army that’s been betrayed, and they have their own courts. They will deal with the mole as they see fit.”
Eric stared at John and realized what his boss wasn’t saying. “Jesus, they already have the guy?”
“Like I said, the Army keeps their own counsel, we keep ours. Besides, we’ll be slogging through tons of shit-work when this goes to court, so I suggest you not go looking for more than your share of grief.”
“Okay,” Eric said. “I guess I’ll be taking showers with my cell, then.”
“Something like that.” John gave a firm pat on Eric’s shoulder. “You did good, Kripke. You should be proud of yourself.”
“Thanks,” Eric said and quickly left his boss’ presence. As much as he admired John, there were moments when the man left him feeling unbalanced and steeped in fear. Now was one of those times.
Bellevue, Washington
Chad gave a loud whoop into the air. “The sons of bitches did it!”
Jared didn’t bother to look up from his computer. “Dare I ask what?”
“The Feds paid the ransom!”
That got everyone’s attention.
“Are you serious?” Jensen asked.
“Yeah, the servers are being scrubbed even as we speak, and then they’re going to be flown to Bellevue, pronto.” Chad forwarded the e-mail to the team. “Read it and weep.”
Jared scrolled down the brief missive. “Thirty-four percent. Jesus Christ, the sons of bitches didn’t waste any time.”
“No, they didn’t,” Jensen muttered, “but the damage isn’t catastrophic.”
“Either way, this is what we have so it’s what we’re going to have to work with.” Jared scrolled through the list of damaged files and mentally gave a sigh of relief. He had worked on some of them and had copies of his own.
Jeff entered the room and looked around. “I’m guessing you just heard the good news?”
“Yeah,” Jared answered. “What did you find?”
“The samples were tagged correctly,” Jeff answered. “The techs had the paperwork and I checked and rechecked them. So, whatever is happening isn’t because of human error.”
Jared leaned back into his chair and shared a knowing look with Jensen.
“I see none of this is news to either of you.” Jeff didn’t bother to hide his irritation as he snapped, “Which means you suspected it before you sent me. Would one of you geniuses like to tell me why the hell did I just spend three hours driving around, going through mounds of paperwork and red tape if you guys already knew the answer?”
“We couldn’t be sure,” Jared answered. “It really might have been human error though we doubted three different labs could make the same mistake.”
“What does this mean?” Jeff asked. “This thing’s mutating, right? Doesn’t that basically sound the death knell?”
“No,” Jensen said. “Not really. Though it’s mutating, this particular strand is mutating at the same rate, in the same manner.”
“Not all viruses do,” Jared added. “Like AIDS, for instance.”
“Okay, I've been around long enough to know mutation sucks but if you find the silver bullet for one, then you find it for all," Jeff muttered.
Steve looked at Jensen with wide eyes. “Holy shit, does that mean what I think it means?”
“Yeah, but it’s not as easy as it seems,” Jared countered.
“Of course not,” Chris said. “Still, better one-headed dragon than the Hydra.”
Jensen nodded in agreement. “Definitely.”
“What else?” Jeff prodded. “You guys are hiding something.”
Jared gave a grim look around the room. “We are starting to come to the conclusion that this particular strand of the filovirus didn’t come from a natural reservoir.”
“Whoa,” Chad said, raising his hands as if to ward off what his friend was saying. “You don’t know that. You can’t know that.”
“Actually, we kind of do,” Jensen whispered. “This thing’s been growing but at a rate we could almost set the clock. There’s no deviation as it mutates and multiplies: from point A to point B, and so forth.”
“We’re talking minutes here,” Jared added. “Mother Nature’s many things but she isn’t on the clock: human beings are.”
“Do you understand what you’re saying?” Jeff echoed Chad’s sentiments. “You’re thinking this was manmade? That some nefarious Cigarette Smoking Man pulled this shit?”
“Nothing so sinister,” Jared said. “We’re thinking this was a byproduct of another experiment. One that probably had monetary significance for Ignatius, which is why the company went so far to cover it up. But once the cat was out of the bag, there was nothing they could do to stop it.”
“But how the fuck did they get so far?” Chad asked. “We’re talking technology that Jared doesn't have access to. Or the C.D.C. for that matter. And I know Maryland isn’t as well equipped as us, so they’re out of the running.”
Steve looked around the room. "I’m just gonna say it. We all know Brown’s not who he says he is.”
“What makes you think that?” Jared asked.
“Well, for one, we made some calls,” Chris answered. “And the intel we got tells us the man’s playing by a whole different set of rules.”
Jensen’s gaze at his friends narrowed considerably. “Who’s we?”
Chad raised his hand and explained, “We were thinking about cornering the guy and making him share whatever database he’s got. But now that Daedalus is back...”
“Don’t think about doing that again,” Jared said harshly. “You fuck with that man and you’re liable to end up face down in a ditch somewhere.”
Jensen closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His eyes were still closed when he said, “You know him, don’t you, Jared? Did he get his claws into you like Wentworth? What did he give in return for your cooperation?”
Jared paled considerably as everyone stared at Jensen in shock before turning their gazes towards him. He looked down at his laptop then to Chad whose wounded look made him feel even worse.
“He came to the lab the summer of 2002,” Jared finally said. “He had something about you Jeff: some information that could shut down the lab.”
Jeff looked at his hands and hissed, "Motherfucker. That intel was supposed to be destroyed ten years ago."
“What was the deal?” Steve asked gently. "Did he ask you to work on something similar to this?"
“It wasn’t a filovirus.” Jared looked at Steve as if he was given a lifeline. “It was hantavirus. I thought the material came from Four Corners. But then I looked at the mutation and realized it couldn't be first generation.”
Chris looked at Jensen. “First generation? What does that mean?”
“Viruses mutate, and with each mutation we tag a new generational number. That way we can identify viruses using cross-generational tables.” Jensen looked at Jared. “Was it biowarfare grade?”
Jared shook his head. “No, that was the weird part. It was pretty much like the common flu. Nasty, but it wouldn’t have generated the death rate that hantavirus did in ‘93.”
“But you’re sure it was hantavirus?” Chad asked. “How could it be if it didn’t have the same kill rate?”
“Because of the symptoms,” Jensen said. “Some of the symptoms had to have been the same.”
Jared nodded, “Yeah, the case files indicated an onset of what looked like acute pulmonary failure, but then the body’s immune system somehow managed to adapt and fight the pathogen.”
“Making it look like a flu but, in reality, it was hantavirus.” Jensen finished Jared’s explanation. His eyes widened considerably as he looked at Jared. “Holy shit, it’s negative-sense RNA, right? That would mean after it was translated, it somehow lost its punch?”
Jared nodded eagerly. “Yes, which is why I thought it was a weapon. Because, after its initial introduction, it would lose its punch and people wouldn’t be the wiser. Think about it: they could attribute it to something else than a hantavirus.”
“That wouldn’t work here, though,” Chris said slowly. “Because our hospitals are alerted to the damn thing, especially after what happened in Four Corners.”
Jared shook his head. “Not necessarily. Not if it was masked somehow. Maybe introduced with another virus, something that would give off a bigger flare, making the doctors think they got the culprit, when, in reality, the real thing gets away, unnoticed.”
“But what would that achieve?” Chad asked. “Why introduce it in the first place when it doesn’t kill or…”
“Because it can mutate.” Jensen took off his glasses and rubbed his face. “The goddamn thing can mutate down the line and become a full-blown epidemic. By that time it’d be too late because the number of people who have been exposed to the ‘flu’ would be in the thousands. Think about it, how many people end up in hospitals during the flu season? And, remember, It’s a pulmonary disease so people will become completely incapacitated, especially medical personnel since they’re the ones who usually get hit first during flu season. And without them, the rest of the human population becomes a sitting duck.”
“You need specialists to treat hantavirus,” Jared explained. “A practicing internist won’t do. It’s a disease that requires specific treatment with specific follow-ups. If one, and just one, part of the treatment falls through … everything falls apart. It’s the domino effect.”
“Which makes it biowarfare,” Sterling said from his position in the doorway. “I knew I could trust Dr. Padalecki to tell the truth.”
“What the fuck is going on?” Jared stood up, his anger completely shining through his tone and body language. “What in hell did you bastards do?”
“What we did was move too slow,” Sterling said. “We had no idea what was happening at Ignatius until CNN came on, and by then it was too late.”
“How is that possible?” Jensen walked next to Jared, placing a restraining grip on the man’s forearm.
“We fucked up,” Sterling sat down, his movement slow like an old man. “We never started this. We just collect the goddamn things and try to find ways to neutralize it.”
“Why not tell the C.D.C. or WHO?”
“And then have it leaked to the press? Do you have any idea what kind of mass panic that would result if the public knew we’ve been fighting biowarfare for over a decade?”
“That long?” Chris asked. “How is it possible that nobody knew?”
“Because we piecemealed the intel to a wide variety of labs, some like Dr. Padalecki’s, others like Ignatius.”
“What happened here?” Jensen asked.
“We think their sample was cross-contaminated,” Sterling answered. “Somehow, they managed to get a live specimen infected with Ebola, and got it translated with what we gave them.”
“And what did you give them, exactly?” Jared asked.
“The same thing we gave you.”
“What?” Jared’s anger dissipated under his confusion. “You gave them hantavirus?”
“Yes, because it was the one that worried us the most,” Sterling said. “All the other samples were, at best, future-grade: that is something that needed more research down the road. The goddamn hantavirus was here and now, and the death toll could easily reach millions if the sequencing was properly done.”
“So, they got the sample, you got the sample,” Jensen looked at the folders scattered all over the desk. “But they got it right, in a way.”
“What do you mean?” Brown asked.
“They found the masking agent, but not for the hantavirus.” Jensen flipped through the piles of folders until he found the right one. He pulled out the pictures and placed them on a board. “Remember them? Remember what they were put away for?”
Jared suddenly felt like he was slammed against a brick wall. “Oh my God, Jorgensen and Coughlin found out who made the goddamn thing. They went to the source.”
“And discovered a way to mask the virus,” Jensen finished Jared’s train of thought.
“But those assholes are in jail or dead!” Chad cried out.
“Doesn’t matter. If their theories were right, then any decent lab could duplicate their work and move it forward.” Jared took the photographs. “But why did Jorgensen and Coughlin take it one step further?”
“Because we asked them to,” Sterling answered in a thin voice. “Jesus Christ, they actually solved the goddamn thing and it killed them?”
“What did you ask them to do, exactly?” Chris asked. “‘Cause it sounds a lot like you asked them build the Armageddon Bomb.”
“No, not really.” Jensen looked carefully at Sterling. “Because hantavirus is also negative-sense RNA virus, like Ebola.”
“What?” Chad looked pole-axed. “Are you serious?”
“So, they went to the people who created the goddamn thing, found out what they were up to, and decided to do one better by what? Instead of playing with firecrackers, they went to see if they could dismantle the atom bomb?” Steve looked at Jensen. “Does that sound sane to you? In this fucking day and age?”
“Yes, if they thought the virus was already introduced to the human population,” Jensen said. “Or they were afraid it was going to be in the near future. If they thought the atom bomb was already ticking, then yeah, they would make that leap.”
“But why not tell you?” Chad looked at Sterling. “Why not scream for help when they started putting the pieces together?”
“Because they didn’t want to lose the glory. They also knew that if they told Sterling’s outfit - they’d be dead in a day, if not less.” Jared’s tone was intense but mechanical. “So they were scared. They figured if they dismantled the atom bomb, then maybe Sterling and his buddies would let them live.”
“That’s also why the samples aren’t going the way we thought they would.” Jensen turned to Jared. “Remember? We thought it was contamination or mislabeling, but it wasn’t. The goddamn thing is acting like the sample you got - it’s trying to fade away, hide.”
“But it can’t, of course.” Jared concluded. “The fucking thing isn’t a goddamn flu, it’s a filovirus.”
“Okay, so…” Chad took a deep breath. “Where is it, then?”
“Where is what?” Sterling asked.
“The silver fucking bullet!” Chad yelled on top of his voice. “They fucking found a way to build the goddamn atom bomb so that means they found a way to stop this shit from killing all of us, or was pretty damn close to it!
"So, where’s the fucking bullet?!”
Everyone stared at Chad with wide eyes. It was Jared who spoke first.
“Holy shit, he’s right.” Jared turned to Sterling. “How far have you gotten into decoding?”
“I’m almost done,” Sterling said. “But I haven’t found anything that would reflect the level of success you’re talking about.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” Jensen said. “They found the masking agent, they found a way to slip the goddamn thing into the human stream without getting noticed, and they found a way to unmask it because they went to the genocidal lunatics who made it in the first place and learned how.”
“Which all points to success, or something close to.” Sterling stood up. “But it’s not in their notes, I swear.”
“It’s right in front of our faces,” Jared said. “We’re just not seeing it.”
“Alice Dunrea.” Jensen ran to his work station and tore through it. “The memory stick.”
“But we downloaded everything. There’s nothing in there we don’t already know,” Jared said.
Jensen found it and looked at it under a scope. “There’s something wrong with the casing.”
Sterling took a glance. “It’s been taken apart and put back together.”
Jared handed Sterling a scalpel which the man used to disassemble the stick. It didn’t take him long to find a miniscule chip. “Can we download from this?”
Chad shoved Sterling aside and looked. “Jesus Christ, yes. Give me ten minutes.”
The men in the room weren’t usually the ones to stand aside, but given no choice they had to sit back and watch as Chad hummed various rock tunes while setting up his station to download the information.
“Here it is,” Chad whispered as all computer screens went live with data.
June, 2003
Easton, Maryland, sixty minutes outside of DC
Jensen looked at his suit with a critical eye. He knew he was overdressed for work, but it was his first day and it paid to make a good impression. Jensen just entered the main lobby when he saw a woman with a child going into the elevators.
Jensen frowned. He knew the rest of the building wasn’t so tightly locked down as the basement lab, but children were usually not allowed to enter a building where the government held enough interest to place armed military security checkpoints on each floor.
The elevator stopped with the usual bone-jarring crash and Jensen toppled out of the car, wondering if it was deliberately programmed to give such joyrides. Feeling anticipation rise, Jensen hastily ran his hands through his hair and tightened his tie.
First day in what’s going to be one hell of a life, he thought as the door to the lab opened. Jensen took one step in and came to an abrupt halt, only to be forced to move into the room when the door actually slammed him on his ass as it closed. Jared was looking through a reference book: that in it of itself wasn’t surprising. What took Jensen’s breath away was the fact Jared was dressed to kill. Wearing black suit, dark grey shirt that Jensen knew was made of pure silk, and sporting a black and grey striped silk tie, Doctor Jared Padalecki looked like he just came off a Milan runway.
Jensen's new boss noticed him and said, “Oh thank God, so you got Sam’s message?”
Jensen’s reply was nowhere near coherent and sounded something like, “bzuh?”
“I know it’s stupid but we have to make a good impression, you know? Especially since the ratio of women to men in our particular field is like what? Thirty-five to one? Forty to one?”
“I’m sorry … what are you talking about?”
“You didn’t get Sam’s voicemail?”
“No, what is it? Is there an emergency budget meeting?” Jensen paused for a moment then added in a thin voice, “Is the President coming?”
“No, today is ‘Take Your Daughter to Work Day’.”
“I’m sorry, I must have misheard you. It’s ‘Take Your Daughter to Work Day’?” Jensen’s good mood had dissipated by this time and was quickly being replaced with agitation.
“You don’t know about…”
“No, I do,” Jensen interrupted. “But what does that have to do with us?”
“Umm … well, it follows to reason that since people procreate, even here, there is a chance that one of the children will be female. Hence…”
Jensen knew he must look comical with his mouth dangling open and his eyes wide enough give him a headache, but what Jared was suggesting was inconceivable to him.
“Are you telling me we have children in the lab?” he whispered, shocked.
“Of course not!” Jared looked affronted by the idea. “The kids are in my office, watching some footage Ben took while we were in the Philippines.”
“What?!”
“Dude, they’re Ben’s kids. He should know what they should and shouldn’t watch. Anyway, it’s actually Sam’s daughters. She’s got two and they’re really interested in this stuff. So, she’s going to bring them and some of her colleagues’ older kids here in an hour.
“I thought we could you know give them a tour: show them what we do and how exciting it all is. They’re going to get a huge kick out of the space suits.”
“Please tell me you’re fucking with me.”
“I most certainly am.”
“You sick bastard!” Jensen wheezed out before collapsing into the nearest chair.
“Welcome to your first day in hell, buddy!” Jared crowed and slapped Jensen on the shoulder. “Jesus Christ, you should’ve seen the look on your face. Oh, wait, you can! Ben, get your skinny ass out here!”
Ben stepped out from the stacks, grinning madly and aiming a video cam at Jensen. “Dr. Jensen Ross Ackles, you’ve just been punk’d.”
“You do this to all your newbies?” Jensen asked, mockingly glaring at the two men.
“Only the ones we want to keep. As for the one we don’t like: we tell them there’s an infected monkey on the loose, then later shut them in a locker room with one,” Ben said, still smiling like a madman as he fiddled with the video camera’s controls. “Best entertainment not even money can buy. And no, the monkey wasn’t infected, just not been fed for twenty-four hours.”
“Holy shit!”
“Just once,” Jared confessed. “And it wasn’t this lab.”
“How come I never heard about it?”
“Because the person we pulled the prank on deserved it, and more.” Jared looked at the video recording and smiled. “This is awesome. You want a copy?”
Jensen flipped them the bird. “So, besides recuperating from a heart attack, what do you want me to do today?”
Jared pointed at a desk with a stack of binders and said, “All yours. Get familiarized with the material. There isn’t going to be a quiz but trust me, you’ll be tested when we fly out.”
“Fly out? Are we going somewhere?”
“Not sure yet,” Jared said, “but I recommend you read quickly.”
“Okay, I’ll get right on that.”
Jensen made himself comfortable in the ergonomically designed chair and began flipping through the first binder. But he also gave appreciative glances at Jared who remained across the room, busily going through medical journals.
Jensen forced himself to admit that he wasn’t sure if he made the right decision accepting the position in Padalecki’s lab. Working under someone like Jared was a new experience for him. His former bosses were all drained of humor and would probably gnaw their arms off before pulling a prank like Jared did. And, there was the little fact that Jensen was undeniably attracted to him. He knew better than to act on his desire, but there was the little niggling idea that Jared was equally interested in him.
Jensen took a deep breath to clear his head of his more salacious thoughts. Turning his focus onto the reading material spread out in front of him, Jensen didn’t catch Jared’s tilted glance at him.
Jared loosened the knot in his tie and sat back in his chair and propped up his feet on the desk. Now that Jensen was on-board with the team, Jared was feeling both elated and nervous. UCSD, with discovering of Jared’s offer, had given Jensen one of their own. It was without doubt very generous and designed to tempt Jensen into staying in his comfort zone. After all, research scientists were notorious for shunning changes in their work habits and would compromise a great deal to keep status quo.
Jensen, however, was not like his brethren. Uprooting himself clear across the country, Jensen took a job that was technically a downgrade from his position in UCSD where he ran his own lab, working at a pace he set for himself, and, most importantly, publishing articles where his name got top-billing and thus all the attention from the scientific community. Now, he would be second in all things, even publications since technically he worked in Jared’s lab, and that meant Jared’s name would probably trump his with the journals. Jared also knew none of this mattered to Jensen: not when Jensen’s primary focus was to get field experience.
Jared puzzled over that for a long time. Granted, even if Jensen was actually that eager to work outside the lab, it didn’t mean he would continue to want the experience after he got a taste of what was really out there. Jungles were filled with things that could kill you besides the virus; outlaws and murderers running the government, not to mention the local law enforcement. And then there were the infected patients.
It's one thing to dissect specimens in a laboratory, it's whole another level of hell when you were forced to deal with infected people who knew they were badly off but not exactly by how much. By the time Jared and his team arrived, the infection had run amok and people were already quarantined, usually in makeshift hospices. In a single cramped room, there would be corpses that the caretakers would refuse to touch out of fear and those who were rattling out their last breaths. But what was the worst were the new patients who were forced to stay amongst the dead and the demented, coming to the horrifying realization that this was what their future would most likely be.
So, when they saw American doctors, they would plead, threaten or try to barter what little they had for the magic bullet that would spare them such a horrific end. When they were finally convinced that no such cure exists, they would silently implode, and would become almost docile in their placidness. Jared didn’t know if Jensen could take in such horrors and process them in a manner that would allow him to continue to function usefully.
Who the fuck am I kidding?
Jared closed his eyes and leaned back further. He knew the greatest fear of his wasn’t the fact that Jensen might be next to useless in the field. He was pretty damn good at measuring people before sending them out and his instincts told him Jensen would pull his weight and then some.
No, what scared him was the fact that he wanted Jensen. After the debacle that was his brief but passionate affair with Sandy, the last thing he needed was to repeat it. And, yet, here he was, actually dancing around the idea of starting yet another relationship with someone who literally just walked in the door.
There was also the fact that Jensen was not his type. The man was beautiful, but that was the norm for someone like Jared who had a healthy appreciation for eye candy. It was the fact that Jensen was so retiring, not like Jared who worked hard and partied harder. After years of seeing people die for the littlest of things, Jared had learned to take what he could, whenever possible. And that meant long nights in various bars and clubs, alongside some of the most irreverent and raucous group of people in D.C..
Dr. Jensen Ross Ackles didn’t fit that billing. Jared asked around and found the man hardly went to parties unless forced to do so. As for his personal life: it was even a bigger secret than how Chad managed to win and keep a girlfriend like Sophia. Nobody seemed to know if Jensen was single or attached. If he was gay or straight or bi or polyamorous. In fact, nobody seemed to know what Jensen did on the weekends save for the fact that the man spent inordinate amount time at work, even on Sundays. Jared had gotten so desperate for any information that he even tapped people who knew Jensen while the doctor attended Georgetown.
And got bupkis.
Jensen was “quiet”, “diligent”, a “true genius”. But nary a picture of him doing body shots, or chugging a keg, or even sitting next to Danneel. The best description Jared got was from an acquaintance who was in the same class as Jensen.
“Ackles flew under the radar, and I think, no, I know he did it on purpose. Something made it so that he doesn’t like to be singled out. And I don’t want to know what it was because I get the feeling if I did - I’d punch something.”
Jared strained forward and snatched Jensen’s personnel file. He flipped it open and perused it for the hundredth time. The man’s academic record was stellar but he was ranked fourth, which allowed him to avoid making any public speeches. He then applied to UCSD where he was given a small lab; he ran that so efficiently that his spending steadily increased without much fanfare from the university. Even his publications increased at a rate that didn’t warrant much review. However, the material he was publishing: that was completely different matter.
RNA research had gained attention from the research community in the last four years. This increase in visibility could almost be remarked the exact same time as when Jensen began to publish his findings using the Ebola virus. Before, he had used fruit flies and his results gained him respect amongst his peers. However, it was when he started applying himself with the deadly contagion that the field RNA research began to get more than just a second glance from the rest of the world.
Little wonder then UCSD was willing to lift its skirts, Jared thought with contempt. He looked down at Jensen’s security photo and wondered how the hell the man looked so damn good. University security photos were notorious for turning people into the bell-ringer of Notre Dame. As Chad had once angrily stated when he laid eyes on his ID:
“We all look like fucking pedophiles, even you!”
And yet, here was Dr. Jensen Ross Ackles, wearing what had to be the ugliest pair of glasses in North America and still looking quite delectable.
Looks like a peach, ripe and hanging low, just waiting to be picked.
“Dude, you hungry?”
Jared lost balance and tipped backwards, slamming the back of his skull on the bookshelves situated behind his desk before spilling out of his chair.
“Jesus Christ!” Chad scrambled around Jared’s desk and kneeled next to his friend. “Don’t move, I think I heard your skull crack open.”
“Fuck off, Chad,” Jared whimpered and gingerly checked the back of his head. His fingers found the tender spot immediately.
“Should I get help?”
Jensen’s question wanted Jared to crawl under his desk and stay there. Of course the man he’d been fantasizing about was right there to witness Jared demonstrating how many chromosomes he lacked.
“No, I’m fine,” Jared said and slowly sat up. Mercifully there was no bleeding and his head wasn’t spinning. With a deep breath he stood up and then remembered his chair was flat on its side. Chad bent down and picked it up.
“You broke it,” Chad said as he upended the chair and pointed to no less than two wheels that snapped off at the base. “How many chairs is that now?”
“Shut up,” Jared muttered, looking at Jensen with sheepish grin.
“You destroy office furniture as a hobby?” Jensen asked with a bright smile.
“This man’s a walking wrecking ball,” Chad said. “That is until he gets into the no-zone. Of course, there isn’t any office furniture in there for him to destroy.”
“The no-zone?”
“The lab,” Jared explained. “We call it the no-zone because there’s no sudden movements, no running, no eating, no drinking.”
“I see: the no-zone.”
Jared didn’t think it was possible but Jensen’s smile got brighter, so it took him a moment to remember he had a question. “So, what’s this about food?”
“Oh, we were going to grab coffee at the cafeteria,” Chad said. “We wondered if you wanted to come.”
“Didn’t you just come back from a cigarette break?” Jared asked.
“That was thirty minutes ago,” Chad said. “Anyway, I have everything on remote monitoring so I can get coffee without your precious lab falling to pieces.”
“I’ll join you,” Jared said as he put aside the broken chair.
“Give me the wheels,” Jensen said as he held out his hand.
“Why?”
“I can repair broken furniture,” Jensen said. “You won’t believe how big a cheapskate UCSD is. They wouldn’t replace any of the office furniture unless it was nuked.”
“Okay,” Jared said as he handed over the snapped wheels. “But I can’t what you could do with these.”
Jensen’s reply was a raised eyebrow.
The three men made a quick dash to the cafeteria and were back in less than ten minutes. Even though Ben was an old hand, none of them felt right leaving him by himself. Jensen returned to his reading while Jared absconded with Ben’s chair. He figured if and when the tech wanted it, he’d come and get it.
In spite of his better sense, Jared finally asked Jensen out for a drink after patiently waiting for a month. Jensen’s answer was a breezy if also a happy ‘yes’. And when Jared asked him out to dinner, Jensen seemed more than receptive to the idea. It didn’t take long after that for their relationship to turn from something casual to a more serious involvement. So, when Jared asked three months later to make their relationship public, Jensen agreed readily enough.
And yet, no matter how much time they spent together or how many conversations they had about their most private thoughts, Jensen was still something of an enigma. Initially Jared believed it was an air that Jensen had cultivated, but he soon realized that Jensen always kept himself a little distant, as if that slight separation was necessary for Jensen to function properly.
It didn’t take long for Jared to feel betrayed though he knew he shouldn’t feel that way. Nonetheless, his ego had little problem using that hurt for Jared to start looking for people who wouldn’t be able to keep him at arm’s length. But, every time he came home after a rendezvous he would remember what a lucky bastard he was, and that maybe the coolness was not of Jensen’s making but something originating in his somewhat vulnerable psyche.
Unfortunately, his guilt only fueled his anger and Jared would soon look for another target to sooth his bruised ego.
March 2004
When the doorbell rang Jared thought it was Jensen and that the man had lost his keys. Again. But, as Jared made his way down the front hall, he heard a muffled woman's voice, presumably speaking into a cell. Jared cautiously opened the door and was stunned to find Sandy standing on the steps, wrapped in an oversized ski jacket.
“Sandy, what’s wrong?” Jared asked and moved aside to let her in.
“This won’t take long,” Sandy said with a tired sigh. “I just came to say I’m permanently resigning from my position.”
“Wait, why?” Jared asked. “I told you, your position…”
“Fuck my job,” Sandy said. “I’m tired of doing what we’re doing or were doing. I guess … I guess I made a choice and I’ve chosen my husband and our family.”
“Wait a minute,” Jared said. “You can’t just push me out of your life. If I’m the father…”
“If you are, then what?” Sandy challenged harshly. “What are you going to do Jared? Make an honest woman out of me? Really? You’re willing to tell Jensen what you’ve done? What you’re still doing?”
“Sandy, where is this coming from?” Jared couldn’t control his panic any longer. “I thought we decided to wait until the baby’s first birthday before we made any serious decisions.”
“You made the decision when you locked me out of the lab!”
“My God, is that what this is about? What the fuck, Sandy? You know what can happen to a fetus when it’s exposed…”
“It’s not an it! It’s a boy! Jesus Christ, how the hell can you even think you’re ready for fatherhood when you can’t even call the baby by his name?!”
“Let’s not do this, just come inside. We can…”
“No, we can’t. I just came here to tell you I’m quitting. As for your rights? If I don’t ask for any financial support or make any claims, your rights are pretty much nil. You can take me to court but we both know you won’t risk losing Jensen over this. Am I right?”
Jared’s brief silence was enough of an answer for both of them.
“And that’s what I thought,” Sandy said. “I told Jason about us.”
“What?”
“I told Jason because God knows he deserves some honesty and respect from me. And do you know what he said? He doesn’t care. He doesn’t fucking care that I … I … did that to him, and that Sam might not be his. He loves me. And he loves Sam because at least half of him is mine, and that was good enough.” Sandy took huge gulps of breath as she began crying. “Tell me, do you love me that much?”
“Sandy, please, don’t do this.”
“We have to grow up, Jared. And if you won’t, then I will. It’s over. Don’t worry about Sam and me,” Sandy said. “I love this baby, much more than I have ever loved anyone, and that includes you. That’s why I have to grow up. That’s why I have to end this because I won’t drag Sam into this sordid mess. My son deserves the best, and I’m going to make sure he gets it.
“And I’m sorry to say, the last thing he needs right now is you.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m applying for a teaching position,” Sandy said.
“Where?” Jared asked. “Maybe I can pull some strings.”
“Emory,” Sandy answered. “And I’d be grateful if you could release my work record so human resources could review my CV.”
“The declassified one, of course.”
“Yeah,” Sandy managed a wan smile at the old joke. “If they ever read the classified one, they’d keel over from a heart attack.”
“It’ll be available by tomorrow morning.”
“Thank you, Jared,” Sandy said. She then tiptoed and kissed him on his cheek. “I know you can’t see it right now, but this is the best for all of us. We’ll both be able to move on now, and we can stop hurting the people who love us in spite of the fact that we don’t deserve it.”
“I still want to know if Sam’s mine,” Jared said. “Please, I have to know.”
Sandy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll do a cheek swab for the paternity test.”
“Thank you.”
“Good-bye, Jared.”
Jared closed the door only after he saw Sandy get into her car and drive away. He barely made it to the living room before his legs gave way. It wasn't until his watch started beeping that Jared realized he would have less than twenty minutes before Jensen came home. Jared managed to get up and return to the kitchen where he was cooking his famous Texas stew for dinner. He opened a bottle of red wine and polished off two glasses before he felt somewhat in control of himself.
He heard Jensen enter and quickly began cutting the bread.
“Hey, that smells good!” Jensen carelessly dumped his bag onto the floor and leaned over to kiss Jared.
“Thanks,” Jared said. “Want a glass?”
“Please!”
Jared filled a glass and handed it to Jensen who immediately noticed his shaky grip.
“You okay?” Jensen asked.
“Yeah, I guess I might be coming down with whatever Chad’s having,” Jared answered.
“Oh God, I hope not.”
“His cold, you ass,” Jared said with a small smile.
“What is this?” Jensen asked, lifting the lid off the pot to get a deep sniff.
“My brother’s famous Texas stew.”
“Texas doesn’t have a stew,” Jensen said, looking curious and cautious at the same time as he stirred the pot.
“More like chili with lots and lots of meat,” Jared explained. “But it’s good.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” Jensen said. “Let me get out of this monkey suit.”
“I thought you were the type who liked wearing suits.”
“I’ve been wearing it since before sunrise.”
“Point,” Jared took the ladle from Jensen and took a taste. “It’s done!”
Jensen grabbed his glass and swiftly walked out of the kitchen. Jared closed his eyes and took deep breaths.
I can do this. I have to do this. Jensen can never know why. I won’t lose him. I can’t lose him.
With the words ‘I can’t lose him’ echoing inside his skull, Jared set the table. For the rest of the evening Jared felt like Jensen would somehow find out he’d been cheating. That he just might have an illegitimate son out there. Jared didn’t know how Jensen would react to such news, but he could guess it would be unfavorable to say the least. Jensen, in spite of all his posturing, was at heart a very conservative man. His homosexuality didn’t get in the way of his religious beliefs or his respect for the family. Jared wondered if Jensen would one day want a child of his own. Maybe find a surrogate mother so he would have a son or a daughter who would inherit his green eyes or his hair that turned honey blond during the summer months.
For reasons that remained unclear to Jared the musings about Jensen’s fictional child made him feel a lot better, and by the time he found himself curling around Jensen in their California king bed, Jared almost felt like he could come to terms with Sandy’s decision. After all, she wasn’t too far off the mark when she blamed both of them for the mess they were in. And he knew she wasn’t lying when she said she loved Sam. If that meant she had to protect the baby from the unsavory truth about his parents, then Jared couldn’t fault her for it. He probably would have done the same thing if he were in her place. And with more rage.
Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen's sleeping form and repeatedly whispered, "Forgive me" and "I love you."
Part IV * Part VI