:) :) :)
I tried, and failed, to look up a Japanese word for overanalyse. xD It just occurred to me that I didn't know, that's all.
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I went out with my high school friends Thursday night (and Friday morning? ahaha I was so sleepy at work the next day) but somehow, I felt even better about the circumstance I am in right now. I learned, from their gossiping peptalks that I should just go with the flow, and that unless i have directly been involved in anything that would compromise another person, I should not be affected. Which I should have realised earlier. :D I feel better now; loads better. ♥
They also well.. talked about me and bitter boy (yes let's give him an alias here, because omg mizukineige might read this and I wouldn't know how to react ahaha because I told her I was sooo over this trivial affair should I filter this instead?). They were talking about their woeful single-ness (haha) and I was just happily chatting with them because frankly, I'm happy I don't have someone to cause me headaches when I think about a lot of things like going back to school, thank you very much, but goodness gracious, they just had to bring him up. Idk, up until now it seemed like the world stopped for us; everything I had been known as during high school still comes back to haunt me. They still think I'm so leader-material, and that I should be publishing my own book soon (Which sadly I have to say I can't anymore because I've given up on that dream), and they still associate me with bitter boy, and well... I guess it had been my fault for being so smitten in the first place.
I've told myself I was already over him though. What with the unspeakable thing he committed a year or so ago, though while not with me and/or against me but somewhat I still got involved... I could totally not forgive him for that, or even still have some semblance of ray of sunshine that he would change and that he would somehow do a 360° turn and suddenly go telling me that Omg Kei, I had been so blind; it was you all along! *cue two people running into each other's arms at the beach here*
However beautiful the image may be, we all know that things like that only happen in dramas and movies and badly-written? (lulz I kiiiiid) fan fictions. With his imprudent action from the past year I doubt I'd even be able to accept him as someone I could see myself growing old with.
But you know, ten years of being given mixed signals isn't exactly a walk in the park. I mean suuuure, there came a time that he actually told me that I deserve someone better (screw that cliche excuse) but NO, what did he do? He just continued being the same usual guy, special treatment was more than given to me, and silly lil' me allowed myself to be played in his hand; all the while I had been trying to play dead to my friends who were alarmed at the situation that Hey, you need to wake up, he's using you.
It took me until now to finally accept the fact that he would forever be using me and that he is indeed, unhealthy for me (according to enerirenie, too). And it took me what, 8, 9 years to free myself of the burdensome emotion.
... Only to be told by my stupid, useless friends that in their deepest of hearts, their OTP was KeixBitter Boy. COME ON, lol. How the hell is that going to help? They just had to rub it in more when they continued talking about how somehow, there's this different aura between us that they witness/sense (lol I knew I could see ghosts but as to them, when had they even become psychic?) whenever we get together on reunions. And how they even mentioned how awkward Bitter Boy and I were in the lift on our way home from one of our late-night coffee talks when they suddenly mentioned Our Past jokingly, or how they, until the end, set us up together to be the only ones in his car when everyone else flocked into the others'. I for one felt utterly awkward and embarrassed; I felt I have embarrassed him, to an extent. I felt I've caused him too much trouble by always being associated with me, and although we're still friends -- the best of friends who nag at each other and scold each other for doing stupid things and barf at each other (... okay wait that wasn't included, lol) and share their deepest, darkest secrets to each other and all -- I still felt ashamed of myself, for being so smitten; and felt righteous indignation on his behalf because apparently our high school friends still can't seem to get over this thing from the far away (1234567~ it's big NewS! lawl) past.
But he on the other hand... The problem is he never told me what he felt. I mean seriously. It was always from reliable sources (aka my girl best friend who incidentally is also her girl best friend because I'm the... genderless best friend, methinks) and from his actions that everything about us came to be, when, to be honest, we never even tried to date exclusively. (Suuuure, we went out together on movies and shopping, but not to the extent that we'd do couple stuff.)
... And it's not like I'm fond of dates either, lol.
Because of the grave mistake he made around a year or so ago my respect and admiration for him had gone down the drain; and I consider him only as A Very Close Friend Of Mine. Because of that mistake he had confessed, I had lost whatever romantic feelings I had for him (yes he did something so stupid for me to actually not be able to think of him in any other light other than a punching bag or a personal barista). I would always care for him, I know it, because somehow he's taught me how to fight on my own and not to rely on anyone. He taught me that the hard way; the harsh way, because he never treated me like a princess before. For that he has toughened me up and I will be forever grateful.
What I don't understand is why, of all things, he's paying extra attention to me, up until now, and a little differently from how things between us were before. And my friends can see it too. And the worst thing is, even some others outside of my high school friends (and high school itself -- we were quite the celebrity/controversial couple back then) have noticed, and have speculated that we were an item in the past.
And my stupid, incorrigible heart may or may not be setting itself up again for another disappointment.
But then I had been woken up by my friend from my reverie that yes, while they don't believe in the existence of soul mates yet they think it's like Kei and Bitter Boy are soul mates still, I should not be thinking much about it, or reading too much into it.
.... Why this ended up as another one of those episodes of doom, I have no frickin' idea. xD; Blame it on the overanalyse incident. xDDDD
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In fandom news...
LAWL not really. Just some random things I've noticed from fandom the past week (not like I'm so much into it right now, haha).
I want to know if anyone else had noticed this, because OMG, maybe this can be considered an improvement--
Specimen number one (is too big but well yeaaaah too big):
Specimen number two:
Has anyone noticed something? Any similarities? Of course you would. xD;
The two screencaps both had the kanji for Toma's names. (yes paatriiing, apatots, itsaharshworld, my Oh-chan tag will be used here just because his name is on the screencap!) The first one from Maou's opening sequence, the second from VOICE's ending credits. And yes you would do well to memorise the kanji for Ikuta Toma or else muwahahaha *shot*
Now the question is... Haven't you guys noticed how the eternally-infuriating (ジャニーズJr.) subscript that had always, always, always been attached to Toma's name disappeared? :OOOOO
What I would like to know is if this actually means that OMG Grandpa Johnny has finally relinquished Toma's Jr status into a non-debuted but non-Jr JE boy (seeing as he hasn't left the agency -- his photos from the VOICE website are still photoshopped into stencils that sometimes I wish if their photos would only end up messed with then it's better they didn't post pictures of the boys at all). Or if this is all just another part of the 'loosening up' of the Jimusho (heaven-forbid that pretty girlboy Uchi Hiroki -- much as I like him -- also had gotten rid of the same tag in just a span of one year when he hadn't done any noise in the entertainment scene since his comeback).
I'm not sure if it's the same for Hachikuro though I remember seeing the subscript of doom on one of its credits... Hell, even the websites for these two dramas don't tag Toma as a Jr at all. Now if I could just dig up my files and see if HanaKimi SP also got rid of the Jr tag...
... The whole point of this rambling? Nothing much. Just that, I am so happy that finally Toma experiences being un-tagged; the brand that came with his name, while it helps makes him prominent, it also helps make people take him for granted and categorise him as Just Another Jyanni.
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So instead of continuing the spreadsheet I am supposed to be accomplishing over the weekend, I watched VOICE, CODE BLUE SP and Mei-chan no Shitsuji instead.
First things first: VOICE continues with its above-average ratings (thank goodness, I feared for Toma and Eita and Satomi because I honestly think the drama, while not as spectacular as HanaKimi, is a good drama to watch and learn from). I still adore the group interaction (reminds me of ProDai and Hachikuro, which is inevitable because the director and producer of the three shows are the same), the wide shots, the overall tone of the film that they use, and OMG Eita has the DORK look right down pat. ♥ He's truly an amazing actor; he can look so brash and stupid (Nodame), effeminate and sorta-kinda-confused-but-in-love (Last Friends), and now he has this dazed, dorky look that he gets whenever he drifts away into his own world of analysing the circumstance of death of the corpses that had been wheeled in.
Toma, on the other hand, remains to be un-felt and omg he's just to cute and omg he's so cute in white and OMG he's just like the resident Shiraishi of the group. YES, the Shiraishi with tougher backbone, the Mikio, the Mayama of the group (omg he's actually Mayama jaskdhska can I be his Yamada or Rika? lol I'm kidding). The pressure of being unable to live up to his father's expectations is slowly but surely unraveling but I'm hoping for some more detail into this; more action into this. And lol he likes giiiirllllls and Eita's character sortakinda fanboys him, under the pretense of being friends, I just know it! xD And tries to hit on Yada Akiko's character. (And funnily, I would always associate Yada Akiko with Nobuta wo Produce, where the new student Nobuta was said to have looked like Yada Akiko. Heehee, I'm such a dork. OH AND I HAVE THE SAME CROCS AS HERS!!! Hehehe).
Satomi-chan... Ah, I love that she's now being fleshed out into a more lovable character. I thought she'd become some 2-D, average geek a.k.a. goody-two-shoes of the group who buries her nose into books and research. I could actually categorise her as the Hiyama of the group; the Yoshida Rei (tsk, tsk), the Hagumi of the group. Except a rough Hagumi. lol. (then again, rough Hagumi = not Hagumi). I am still amused at how the guys of the seminar group always gang up on her, and how she's always referred to as a troublesome woman. Which she is, because ahaha she is so uptight and fake and lies to make herself look better and gets caught lying anyway.
Endo Yuuya and Sato Tomohiro, on the other hand... The dumb and dumber of the show. xD The Saejima/Fujikawa, Yamada/Morita, and Eri/Tsuru. Sato being the violent, temperamental one. Endo Yuuya's great at being a bullied kid, haha. Just hoping that the both of them will be fleshed out more and not end up as cardboard stooges.
I'm not sure if VOICE should be a tear-jerker drama though, but omg lol, I still cried whenever the group managed to piece together evidences and leads as to How The Patient Died. But what I'm sure of is that they are slowly but surely developing the characters and the plot (and OMG TomaxSatomi solo interaction and srs talk at the bridge on Episode 3 sjkdhakjdh has Japan seen the potential and shifted the RonxHermione-ish relationship between Eita's character and Satomi's character into theirs instead? *___*)
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NEX-TO. CODE BLUE ~Doctor Heli Kinkyuu Kyuumei~ SP :)
I wasn't able to watch it on its broadcast date, and I figured I could just wait for softsubs to be released (which, miraculously enough, coincided with my free time yesterday omg this is FATE).
Someone tell me I wasn't the only one who bawled out and hiccuped while crying over the first five minutes aka the flashback during the Code Blue SP? Because I was so moved; so moved in fact that I think this was the sign I had been waiting for for some time now.
I love how the timeframe of the SP was only a span of one day. ♥ And how they immediately caused trouble when they got back from their penitence aka suspension. Heehee.
The interns all grew up as experienced doctors in the SP, and I think I may have understood why it got a good reception with the Japanese population (23.xx% rating for the SP). That, and I was a shameless pimper to my students and told them to watch Code Blue SP when the year kicked in. wakekeke.
Aizawa was freaking crazy for even thinking of drilling the skull of the little kid but well, typically, he saves the day with his amazing powers skills. OH WAIT WAS THAT JUST A SPOILER? OOPS.
... Although it was to be expected, you know? It had always been my pet peeve with Aizawa's character; how, while during the season, he was supposed to have become a little less of an ass-flight-doctor-intern but I barely saw him losing his confidence. Only perhaps except when he faced Kuroda-sensei after the horrific incident and when he actually delivered the lines wherein he questioned the skills of a famous flight doctor. In other instances it was underscored by his piglevel-headedness. I've also seen him grow softer with that obnoxious little girl and obaachan (he should be! The wooby eyes of elegant obaachan is a force to be reckoned with!) and ultimately with Shiraishi (he opens up to her, amazingly). Glad that in the SP there was even more character development for him.
And Shiraishi, too. I love how she toughened up and responded to the situation just as how a doctor should. ♥ Hiyama, on the other hand, ended up so cardboard-like. Perhaps it was due to the constraints on Toda Erika's part, seeing as she had been filming Ryuusei no Kizuna too, but I barely felt that she was even missing. Okay so maybe at one part she was, but overall, it was just like any other Code Blue episode where she gets to be sharp-tongued and gets reprimanded for being such. As to character growth for Hiyama, there was little to none. I think they exerted too much effort on not making her seem like a ghost who appeared and disappeared in the set that somehow they forgot that her character needed some growth, too.
Fujikawa, let's talk about Fujikawa. Out of all the flight doctor-interns he had the most growth and character development in the SP. ♥ Still the laughing stock of the show (as with Morimoto-sensei) but this time with less funny scenes, and more doctor-like scenes. I loved his progression the most in th SP. Saejima, while still cocky and snarky with regard to Fujikawa and the world in general, became more subdued (thanks to the suspension, perhaps) and to be honest, kind of faded into the background here. Not that she was supposed to be in the foreground to begin with, but she had less screentime in this SP. Probably because she's also shooting for Tenchijin.
BUT OMG, BAACHAN-KOUCHAN MOMENTS. ♥♥♥
Lastly, I love how the SP began with Aizawa's rather-negative introspective narration, and ended with the same theme but with a more optimistic outlook. ♥
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LAST ONE! (yes this is just too long, isn't it?)
HOW COME I WASN'T AWARE OF THE FULL CAST OF MEI-CHAN NO SHITSUJI?! :|||||
When I stumbled upon JapanToday, on the entertainment section there was an article on how Yamada Yu would be wearing a school uniform for a drama, which I checked and found out, was indeed Mei-chan no Shitsuji. So well yeaaaah, I kinda liked her in Seigi no Mikata. But what made me actually pick the show up was not because of Mizushima Hiro (sorry, he's hot and smart and all, but somewhat he became overrated; but I rooted for Soushi in Zettai Kareshi more than Night, heehee), but because I saw Sato Takeru was also in it~ :3 And Tanimura Mitsuki!
But~~ the last nail on the coffin was Mukai Osamu. *_*
And I flailed like mad because OMG, Yamada Yu and Mukai Osamu akjhdksad Seigi no Mikata OTP reunion omgggggg.
Some random screencaps (You'll find out why I have screencaps for Mei-chan and not for VOICE and CB SP when you see the last photo):
Why, why oh WHY does Eikura Nana remind me of Aiza Seguerra in this drama? :\ And WHY THE SHORT HAIR. I'm sorry but I'm like, un-aware if Mei-chan indeed had short hair like this in the manga, because if it wasn't that way, I'd be forever thinking that this is FujiTV's attempt to top off HanaKimi, what with the supposedly-ikemen butlers (who, to my horror, actually all look like men in their thirties omg except for Hiro and that Aoyama guy and of course our Butler-in-Training; even Oscar Himejima looked ooold. Or well, yeah I think he's 29 or 30), the exclusive all-girls school, and the uncanny resemblance of the soundtrack (which of course is highly probably to be similar since the person in charge of the soundtrack is Shin Kono, who had also been the one in charge of HanaKimi's).
Speaking of lovable butler-in-training... Oh Takeru, so so so dork and brash and squishy. Now now where is the sophisticated Takeru of Bloody Monday? :x Looking forward to a less-cardboard role for him here. He can be the Nakatsu of this show omg the next Toma?!
SHE IS JUST SO CUTE. ♥♥♥ I remember her so well, Tanimura Mitsuki, from Cat Street. I haven't read the manga of Cat Street, but in the short drama I loved her portrayal of the reclusive lead and jksdhskf SO CUTE how she changes into her role here as the carefree Tami-hime :D
... That, and she totally reminds me of my good friend, icedpanda. They look alike. Really. xD
JAKDHSAKJDLHSAJK Can I haz another OTP? :D This time, non-JE? :D :D :D Screw Oguri Shun, Mukai Osamu looks hotter and well, more muscular (Shun is sooo willowyyyy) and ajskdhskad prettyyyy. And then with Yamada Yu. ♥ OMG they look so great together, aesthetically. (That, and their husband-and-wife roles in Seigi no Mikata is kjasdhjs so so so so cute too)
Mukai hovering over Yamada Yu, who is eating the pathetic udon. Okay I should prolly use the dorama names, eh? Shinobu and Shiori. OMG even their names sound akjdhskjd. *flails*
Now on to the last screencap:
Now if you guys could just ignore Eikura Nana here for a sec and stare at Mukai Osamu. OMG ISN'T HE JUST LIKE, IDK, YUE? :D :D :D :D :D :D And NO he isn't smitten with Mei-chan here. :x At least to my knowledge. *is srsly 'shipping ShinobuxShiori*
... I should prolly check the manga. (^0^)/
AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, CONCLUDES MY EMO-DORAMA REVIEW-SCREENCAP PICSPAM ENTRY. A week's worth of writing, because it's highly likely that I won't be able to post for the whole week. :xxx
How is everyone? 8D Hopefully doing great? :D I'm stuck at home (and quite happy anyway, haha) because I have a massive headache and slight fever. Though it's tough because I have to get better by tonight so that I'd be able to go to work tomorrow. Hee.