Quod Erat Demonstratum: A Revelation
Primarily, the purpose of this entry was just to show you how amused I am of what happens to my Poupee Girl whenever my connection phails. Of course not everyone would find it funny, but during the first time this had happened, I felt so scared because I've never experienced it prior to that date! XD Until of course I learned how to deal with it and just made fun of my funny poupee. XD
This just reminds me of Hollowman, you know? XD And there was also a time that whenever I tried to load my Poupee Girl, the girl wouldn't show up. At all. Though I think that had been around the time after the Taiwan-Japan-India earthquake some one or two weeks ago.
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S-So yes, as I've said, my first intention while posting this was to show my utter shallow amusement with my hollow(wo)man!Poupee.
But tonight I had been watching The Last Journey of Ninoy, a 52-minute documentary they had screened in Rockwell some two days ago (during Ninoy Aquino's 26th year assassination anniversary) that lasted for an hour and a half on TV (hurray for commercials!).
In reality I rarely watch local television, let alone watch anything from the television itself (unless I'm using the TV to watch DVDs). But since I've been more or less... indisposed for the past two weeks with my come-and-go flu and really awful sore throat and coughing fits, I had no choice but to actually have time to watch television, instead of make commitments to my part-time ESL teaching stint. (Ah, the perks of not being able to work! hahaha not.)
I've been seeing the CM/advertisement for this documentary of Ninoy Aquino since some days ago, and I said why not, it's one of those things that I love anyway -- listening/watching/reading about other people's lives. Documentaries and biographies interest me and inspire me to become a better person, and I'd say by far my greatest influence had been Jose Rizal.
(Yes I suck. For after all, any Filipino person receiving education in the Philippines had to study about him since he's the National Hero. Dx)
Having read about Jose Rizal even before I went to primary school (I'm a nerd, thank you very much) via my mother's trusty first press copy of the Complete Biography of Jose Rizal circa 1980 (imagine even Med students having to study about Jose Rizal's life when they should've devoted time on idk, studying cadavers or whatever they should be doing), I ended up with a mindset that I should be doing things like Jose Rizal had done during his life. I admit to having come up short compared to him (... He was awesome, really. I don't think anyone could match his intellect and mindset anyway), but mainly my passion for writing and the desire to learn many languages originated from my resolve to 'be like him'. He may not have been the physical leader of the revolution that had stirred then-Filipinos into a bloody revolt against the its conquerors, but his resilience and un-wavering belief that the Philippines would someday be free of the oppressive rule of the Spaniards never ceased to amaze me.
(And, much to my consternation, this star-strucked perspective I've had of Jose Rizal had been spectacularly de-bunked when I went to university and studied his life extensively -- our class came to the conclusion that he was actually lobbying for support from the Spanish government, that instead of the Philippines' liberation he fought for the Philippines' peaceful colonisation; for reforms in the oppressive government to a democratic and well-represented one. And that there's a possibility that he had, after the efforts he had exerted in finishing and publishing his books, retracted whatever he had penned against the [then-abusive system of the] Church and denounced his masonic/free-thinking self. And that his election as the 'National Hero' had been nothing but a smart move by the American colonisers to buy into the Filipino sentiment, unite the Filipinos and gain their support. I could see the reasoning and logic behind this way of thinking, but I reserve judgment on the issue.
Or maybe I am just trying to preserve my crystallized image of Jose Rizal as a revolutionary pacifist even until now, who knows.)
Regardless, I find myself looking up to Jose Rizal still, for he was a genius; a polyglot... Not a Jack-of-All-Trades (for he certainly wasn't a Master of None). There was, after all, basis for him being dubbed as The Greatest Malay That Ever Lived.
I still hold him in high regard but tonight, as I have finished a very short, almost-considered indie film about the last ten days of Ninoy Aquino, I wish I knew more about Ninoy than how much I knew about Rizal. Why didn't anyone actually propose that the life and works of Ninoy be included in the academic curriculum of students?
Out of all the biographies of heroes that I had read/watched, not one has ever moved me to tears as that of Ninoy's (then again, artists nowadays are good at dramatising simple events in a mediocre person's life). Perhaps it's because the society I live in today relates more to the society of 1970's; that I could relate more to what Ninoy had done for the recent Philippines rather than the far-off, centuries-old sacrifice (if there was? After all Rizal had merely been accused) that Rizal had done for our country.
Or maybe it's because the movie I have seen actually had footages of Ninoy Aquino, of his assassination caught on videotape, as well as his speeches and certain interviews. Media did play a huge role into reeling me into the story well, because he was so alive in the documentary; his words, his voice came from him and not from some stupid voice over that read from a script that may or may not have edited out certain paragraphs of his written pieces. I am fully aware that there were voice-overs of his brother in the documentary, whose voice was almost uncannily alike to Ninoy's, but there were footages of his speech in LA... and interviews. And he was so full of life in them. And the way he proclaimed "I have no army.. I have no following... All i have is my indomitable spirit." simply swept me away into what-ifs and what-could-have-beens. After being locked away and separated from his family for seven years and seven months, his political beliefs did not wither away, nor did his stance against the then-current regime falter. It remained the same. Or had become intensified, most likely.
Had he not been assassinated, would the Philippines have been freed from the oppressive martial law government that another Filipino president had declared?Funny how, after ceeturies upon centuries of colonisation, years after being granted full independence, someone who is an authentic citizen of the land reverts the society into its former impoverished state. How would the Philippines have been today?
Had Ninoy not been assassinated, would he have convinced Marcos to step down peacefully, and would he have been elected to office? Would he had then solved what Cory Aquino, his wife who had merely continued his campaign for the restoration of democracy in the Philippines, had failed to resolve in her seemingly-short stint as the mother of the nation?
Or would he have merely been thrown back into his detention cell to die as prisoner of an inhumane regime?
I could not, honestly, imagine how things might have turned out had he not been assassinated (or I lack the creativity, most likely), for his untimely (... debatable. Could be considered timely, too) death had stirred to life the long-suppressed passion of the Filipinos for freedom. Then again had Ninoy actually become the President of the Philippines, I think our family would have been richer and would have belonged to the higher strata of the society. Haha. So sue me for being a self-righteous little prat. XD
My little piece of selfishness aside, the documentary I've watched started with Ninoy's departure from Boston after his carefully-plotted cirque around the country before landing at Manila that fateful day. In between the re-enactments they have shot, were footages of his speeches and interviews, as well as his wife's (the late President Cory Aquino, whose death must have awakened the nationalistic pride in every Filipino's hearts these past few weeks) additional commentaries.
Perhaps it had just been too fresh, the wounds that the nation had incurred upon Pres. Aquino's death, but seeing her in a documentary about her late husband, all of which had been shot when she had still been alive... Not exactly creepy, but it gives me a certain kind of chill. And how she so fondly talks about her husband (and first love, she was so lucky to have been smitten and having been romanced by perhaps one of the greatest Filipinos ever), and how, at such a short span of time, Ninoy had achieved what he had planned for himself.
Imagine yourself when you had been seventeen. What had you been doing? At seventeen the only thing I could brag about was being able to enter the top university in the country, and that doesn't necessarily mean it's an achievement -- I never embodied or lived up to the expectations of my Alma Mater. Ninoy, on the other hand, had already been sent overseas as the chief correspondent for a leading newspaper in the Korean War at the age of 17. How awesome is that, no?
At twenty-one, after marrying Cory Aquino, having been able to win the elections and becoming the mayor of a municipality, when he was technically unqualified to run for office.
At twenty-five, having served as a negotiator to the rebel groups and successfully persuading them to set aside their guns and form a better relationship with the then-government under a charismatic, efficient leader.
At twenty-six, having been proven unqualified to become a mayor years prior, being able to snag the office to represent the province in the Congressional Assembly.
And years later, he would become the youngest senator to run for office and win.
All these, he says, were his true calling -- he knew he was meant to serve the public. This coming from a man whose family had been the hacienderos of their province. He wouldn't actually have needed to work in the government and be corrupt to earn millions and billions of pesos, since his was an affluent background. Yet he chose to serve and mingle with the masses. He knew and he had plotted out his career, and perhaps, had things gone his way, he might have become the eleventh president of the republic (and not his wife).
Perhaps, a utopic, idealistic society I'm only conceptualising, but yes. I feel the Philippines might have become a more prosperous country had he been elected into the highest post and had he served our country for six years. Or more, had he wished to run for office again -- I'm trying to envision him as a sort-of Magsaysay the Second, who has such a way with words. He might have given Obama a run for his money in terms of the support he would garner from his 'future' constituents.
(And I fully understand now why Cory, aside from being just a mother, repeatedly forgave her prodigal daughter Kris Aquino -- Kris is the spitting image of her father.)
Before I knew it, at the last stretch of the short film (at the documentary about his last day), my tears have started running down my cheeks. Ninoy seemed to have divination skills, his words to the international press then were practically prophetic. He knew that anything could happen in a matter of minutes, and somewhat sounded like he knew he was going to be shot in the head.
Ah, such is life, no?
Though seriously, I wish I knew more about Ninoy as a hero, and I wished I valued the date 21 August more, and not just as a simple holiday and break from work. He was such a great loss that I believe he would have led the Filipinos to become a better country and better citizens; a more nationalistic lot rather than what the Marcos administration had unfortunately bred and carved into our system (severe colonial mentality). I for one admit to being zero on nationalism and patriotism -- if I did love my country that much, I would not entertain the thought of never returning here once I've settled/emigrated.
But I think I'm taking steps to get there. :) I've resolved to actually become a registered voter and make my vote count (and I used to be a political atheist, whuuut), though as of yet I find no one else honest enough to hold the position of the Chief Executive. And now I feel that as a person, I might be able to do something for my country. Though at the moment the path remains unclear, I am hoping that the same almost-divining light that had encompassed and lit Ninoy Aquino's life would also find me and start something in my lazy, little self.
This might have qualified for an essay requirement in Sociology or History, but I doubt it'd get good marks, seeing as it's hodgepodge and all over the place. (That, and writing at bloody 2am, while it used to be the prime of my skills, currently isn't doing my health any good.) Because to be honest, I simply could not put into words how my mind is working right no, and how I am feeling right now. I am just stupefied at how much love a person could offer to his country and to his countrymen that I somewhat feel un-worthy to be called a Filipino if I can't even find it in myself to do something for my country.
Un-beta'ed, first version. Written 24 August 2009; 12:01am~2:28am. Whaaat, I need a timestamp ok so stfu XD
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Maa ne. I must have ranted full-on, no? XD I rarely get the chance! I shall now go to bed and pray that I find the best push for me to take action about what I have written up there.
... That, and I am praying that Twitter didn't ultimately screw up my account and de-followed my tweet followings since I don't remember de-following anyone, let alone everyone on my list. Boo fail Twitter ngrrrgh.
This just reminds me of Hollowman, you know? XD And there was also a time that whenever I tried to load my Poupee Girl, the girl wouldn't show up. At all. Though I think that had been around the time after the Taiwan-Japan-India earthquake some one or two weeks ago.
-------
S-So yes, as I've said, my first intention while posting this was to show my utter shallow amusement with my hollow(wo)man!Poupee.
But tonight I had been watching The Last Journey of Ninoy, a 52-minute documentary they had screened in Rockwell some two days ago (during Ninoy Aquino's 26th year assassination anniversary) that lasted for an hour and a half on TV (hurray for commercials!).
In reality I rarely watch local television, let alone watch anything from the television itself (unless I'm using the TV to watch DVDs). But since I've been more or less... indisposed for the past two weeks with my come-and-go flu and really awful sore throat and coughing fits, I had no choice but to actually have time to watch television, instead of make commitments to my part-time ESL teaching stint. (Ah, the perks of not being able to work! hahaha not.)
I've been seeing the CM/advertisement for this documentary of Ninoy Aquino since some days ago, and I said why not, it's one of those things that I love anyway -- listening/watching/reading about other people's lives. Documentaries and biographies interest me and inspire me to become a better person, and I'd say by far my greatest influence had been Jose Rizal.
(Yes I suck. For after all, any Filipino person receiving education in the Philippines had to study about him since he's the National Hero. Dx)
Having read about Jose Rizal even before I went to primary school (I'm a nerd, thank you very much) via my mother's trusty first press copy of the Complete Biography of Jose Rizal circa 1980 (imagine even Med students having to study about Jose Rizal's life when they should've devoted time on idk, studying cadavers or whatever they should be doing), I ended up with a mindset that I should be doing things like Jose Rizal had done during his life. I admit to having come up short compared to him (... He was awesome, really. I don't think anyone could match his intellect and mindset anyway), but mainly my passion for writing and the desire to learn many languages originated from my resolve to 'be like him'. He may not have been the physical leader of the revolution that had stirred then-Filipinos into a bloody revolt against the its conquerors, but his resilience and un-wavering belief that the Philippines would someday be free of the oppressive rule of the Spaniards never ceased to amaze me.
(And, much to my consternation, this star-strucked perspective I've had of Jose Rizal had been spectacularly de-bunked when I went to university and studied his life extensively -- our class came to the conclusion that he was actually lobbying for support from the Spanish government, that instead of the Philippines' liberation he fought for the Philippines' peaceful colonisation; for reforms in the oppressive government to a democratic and well-represented one. And that there's a possibility that he had, after the efforts he had exerted in finishing and publishing his books, retracted whatever he had penned against the [then-abusive system of the] Church and denounced his masonic/free-thinking self. And that his election as the 'National Hero' had been nothing but a smart move by the American colonisers to buy into the Filipino sentiment, unite the Filipinos and gain their support. I could see the reasoning and logic behind this way of thinking, but I reserve judgment on the issue.
Or maybe I am just trying to preserve my crystallized image of Jose Rizal as a revolutionary pacifist even until now, who knows.)
Regardless, I find myself looking up to Jose Rizal still, for he was a genius; a polyglot... Not a Jack-of-All-Trades (for he certainly wasn't a Master of None). There was, after all, basis for him being dubbed as The Greatest Malay That Ever Lived.
I still hold him in high regard but tonight, as I have finished a very short, almost-considered indie film about the last ten days of Ninoy Aquino, I wish I knew more about Ninoy than how much I knew about Rizal. Why didn't anyone actually propose that the life and works of Ninoy be included in the academic curriculum of students?
Out of all the biographies of heroes that I had read/watched, not one has ever moved me to tears as that of Ninoy's (then again, artists nowadays are good at dramatising simple events in a mediocre person's life). Perhaps it's because the society I live in today relates more to the society of 1970's; that I could relate more to what Ninoy had done for the recent Philippines rather than the far-off, centuries-old sacrifice (if there was? After all Rizal had merely been accused) that Rizal had done for our country.
Or maybe it's because the movie I have seen actually had footages of Ninoy Aquino, of his assassination caught on videotape, as well as his speeches and certain interviews. Media did play a huge role into reeling me into the story well, because he was so alive in the documentary; his words, his voice came from him and not from some stupid voice over that read from a script that may or may not have edited out certain paragraphs of his written pieces. I am fully aware that there were voice-overs of his brother in the documentary, whose voice was almost uncannily alike to Ninoy's, but there were footages of his speech in LA... and interviews. And he was so full of life in them. And the way he proclaimed "I have no army.. I have no following... All i have is my indomitable spirit." simply swept me away into what-ifs and what-could-have-beens. After being locked away and separated from his family for seven years and seven months, his political beliefs did not wither away, nor did his stance against the then-current regime falter. It remained the same. Or had become intensified, most likely.
Had he not been assassinated, would the Philippines have been freed from the oppressive martial law government that another Filipino president had declared?Funny how, after ceeturies upon centuries of colonisation, years after being granted full independence, someone who is an authentic citizen of the land reverts the society into its former impoverished state. How would the Philippines have been today?
Had Ninoy not been assassinated, would he have convinced Marcos to step down peacefully, and would he have been elected to office? Would he had then solved what Cory Aquino, his wife who had merely continued his campaign for the restoration of democracy in the Philippines, had failed to resolve in her seemingly-short stint as the mother of the nation?
Or would he have merely been thrown back into his detention cell to die as prisoner of an inhumane regime?
I could not, honestly, imagine how things might have turned out had he not been assassinated (or I lack the creativity, most likely), for his untimely (... debatable. Could be considered timely, too) death had stirred to life the long-suppressed passion of the Filipinos for freedom. Then again had Ninoy actually become the President of the Philippines, I think our family would have been richer and would have belonged to the higher strata of the society. Haha. So sue me for being a self-righteous little prat. XD
My little piece of selfishness aside, the documentary I've watched started with Ninoy's departure from Boston after his carefully-plotted cirque around the country before landing at Manila that fateful day. In between the re-enactments they have shot, were footages of his speeches and interviews, as well as his wife's (the late President Cory Aquino, whose death must have awakened the nationalistic pride in every Filipino's hearts these past few weeks) additional commentaries.
Perhaps it had just been too fresh, the wounds that the nation had incurred upon Pres. Aquino's death, but seeing her in a documentary about her late husband, all of which had been shot when she had still been alive... Not exactly creepy, but it gives me a certain kind of chill. And how she so fondly talks about her husband (and first love, she was so lucky to have been smitten and having been romanced by perhaps one of the greatest Filipinos ever), and how, at such a short span of time, Ninoy had achieved what he had planned for himself.
Imagine yourself when you had been seventeen. What had you been doing? At seventeen the only thing I could brag about was being able to enter the top university in the country, and that doesn't necessarily mean it's an achievement -- I never embodied or lived up to the expectations of my Alma Mater. Ninoy, on the other hand, had already been sent overseas as the chief correspondent for a leading newspaper in the Korean War at the age of 17. How awesome is that, no?
At twenty-one, after marrying Cory Aquino, having been able to win the elections and becoming the mayor of a municipality, when he was technically unqualified to run for office.
At twenty-five, having served as a negotiator to the rebel groups and successfully persuading them to set aside their guns and form a better relationship with the then-government under a charismatic, efficient leader.
At twenty-six, having been proven unqualified to become a mayor years prior, being able to snag the office to represent the province in the Congressional Assembly.
And years later, he would become the youngest senator to run for office and win.
All these, he says, were his true calling -- he knew he was meant to serve the public. This coming from a man whose family had been the hacienderos of their province. He wouldn't actually have needed to work in the government and be corrupt to earn millions and billions of pesos, since his was an affluent background. Yet he chose to serve and mingle with the masses. He knew and he had plotted out his career, and perhaps, had things gone his way, he might have become the eleventh president of the republic (and not his wife).
Perhaps, a utopic, idealistic society I'm only conceptualising, but yes. I feel the Philippines might have become a more prosperous country had he been elected into the highest post and had he served our country for six years. Or more, had he wished to run for office again -- I'm trying to envision him as a sort-of Magsaysay the Second, who has such a way with words. He might have given Obama a run for his money in terms of the support he would garner from his 'future' constituents.
(And I fully understand now why Cory, aside from being just a mother, repeatedly forgave her prodigal daughter Kris Aquino -- Kris is the spitting image of her father.)
Before I knew it, at the last stretch of the short film (at the documentary about his last day), my tears have started running down my cheeks. Ninoy seemed to have divination skills, his words to the international press then were practically prophetic. He knew that anything could happen in a matter of minutes, and somewhat sounded like he knew he was going to be shot in the head.
Ah, such is life, no?
Though seriously, I wish I knew more about Ninoy as a hero, and I wished I valued the date 21 August more, and not just as a simple holiday and break from work. He was such a great loss that I believe he would have led the Filipinos to become a better country and better citizens; a more nationalistic lot rather than what the Marcos administration had unfortunately bred and carved into our system (severe colonial mentality). I for one admit to being zero on nationalism and patriotism -- if I did love my country that much, I would not entertain the thought of never returning here once I've settled/emigrated.
But I think I'm taking steps to get there. :) I've resolved to actually become a registered voter and make my vote count (and I used to be a political atheist, whuuut), though as of yet I find no one else honest enough to hold the position of the Chief Executive. And now I feel that as a person, I might be able to do something for my country. Though at the moment the path remains unclear, I am hoping that the same almost-divining light that had encompassed and lit Ninoy Aquino's life would also find me and start something in my lazy, little self.
This might have qualified for an essay requirement in Sociology or History, but I doubt it'd get good marks, seeing as it's hodgepodge and all over the place. (That, and writing at bloody 2am, while it used to be the prime of my skills, currently isn't doing my health any good.) Because to be honest, I simply could not put into words how my mind is working right no, and how I am feeling right now. I am just stupefied at how much love a person could offer to his country and to his countrymen that I somewhat feel un-worthy to be called a Filipino if I can't even find it in myself to do something for my country.
Un-beta'ed, first version. Written 24 August 2009; 12:01am~2:28am. Whaaat, I need a timestamp ok so stfu XD
-------
Maa ne. I must have ranted full-on, no? XD I rarely get the chance! I shall now go to bed and pray that I find the best push for me to take action about what I have written up there.
... That, and I am praying that Twitter didn't ultimately screw up my account and de-followed my tweet followings since I don't remember de-following anyone, let alone everyone on my list. Boo fail Twitter ngrrrgh.