(no subject)
i feel so alone and its a different kind. Not the sappy ignored alone that I felt as a freshman more of alone like no one really gets.idk..... like i don't feel as comfortable as I once felt and i don't feel so clicked with people.. maybe i am just out of it. I feel down but not the scary depressed kind just the kind that lingers on you where you can't be one hundred percent happy. I thought i liked change and now i just find that i am more fearful of it because it means escaping my comfort zone, i know Kelly said we won't loose each other but we are going to be so distracted at college
things are changing so quickly and one by one everyone is leaving. One of my friends just told me they are moving tomorrow and i never got to hangout with them
i can't shake this feeling i am good with being alone but sometimes you just want someone around who make you feel like you are still alive
i got lucky yesterday when Nadia came over, it was such a good day even if sean and me fought in the end.
i don't know how to describe what i am feeling but i know i am just crying. i have been working my ass off all marking period and i already know i am going to have all As except for Lavado's ap psych which is a C+
People who i used to be close with have haunted me for the past month and i just feel dragged down by so many things including the lovely finances of my home.. since yet again we are down to one car. I want it to be warmer, i wanna stretch my legs and go running till i can't breath so i can break down crying outside and not stuck in my room, I need a job soon so i can actually afford to buy myself things, and i need someone to remind me what it means to be truly happy and kick me maybe it will wake me up...maybe i just need more sleep
I am definitely not who i used to be and i won't let this bring me down just some times you need to just be vague and get what's been bottled up? just sometimes i wonder if i really didn't exist would it make any impact on anyone's life... i doubt it.. and that's what scares me and its my fault i try but i guess not enough
goodluck and peace out
p.s. those that have been close to me: nadia, karyn, kelly, monica.. ignore me you guys are the greatest friends i can have ... i just feel detached ^_^ thanks for always sticking by me and being good friends
things are changing so quickly and one by one everyone is leaving. One of my friends just told me they are moving tomorrow and i never got to hangout with them
i can't shake this feeling i am good with being alone but sometimes you just want someone around who make you feel like you are still alive
i got lucky yesterday when Nadia came over, it was such a good day even if sean and me fought in the end.
i don't know how to describe what i am feeling but i know i am just crying. i have been working my ass off all marking period and i already know i am going to have all As except for Lavado's ap psych which is a C+
People who i used to be close with have haunted me for the past month and i just feel dragged down by so many things including the lovely finances of my home.. since yet again we are down to one car. I want it to be warmer, i wanna stretch my legs and go running till i can't breath so i can break down crying outside and not stuck in my room, I need a job soon so i can actually afford to buy myself things, and i need someone to remind me what it means to be truly happy and kick me maybe it will wake me up...maybe i just need more sleep
I am definitely not who i used to be and i won't let this bring me down just some times you need to just be vague and get what's been bottled up? just sometimes i wonder if i really didn't exist would it make any impact on anyone's life... i doubt it.. and that's what scares me and its my fault i try but i guess not enough
goodluck and peace out
p.s. those that have been close to me: nadia, karyn, kelly, monica.. ignore me you guys are the greatest friends i can have ... i just feel detached ^_^ thanks for always sticking by me and being good friends