my monthly entry
reading irigaray's femenist interpretation of marx has me fired up. i am almost tempted to delve deeper into femenist theory but i have a feeling it is a dark and scary place. remembering being pissed off in womens studies at the claim that i have no gender, even if i associate freely with one. bc everything is a social construction and we dont really have any individual control over how we identify ourselves, right? but it just doesnt make sense that we would be judged on those things, so i refuse to believe it. and if it is true, then wouldnt the rejection of the norms just be an extension of that based on contemporary culture? i guess i have not read enough. maybe i can make a career out of the conversations between the muslim and the feminist living in different parts of my body. not sure which parts.
buffalo was not as cold this winter. and winter is almost over. im trying to be more active with non-school but there is just so much school to worry about. i wish kim came online ever so she could tell me if i should go to law school. i really just cant see myself doing it. but i cant see myself doing anything. i want to be in the city. i know what makes me happy and i want to keep those things in my life. and the differences between anthropology and cultural studies and public policy are not making themselves clear enough to me. i wish i had been good at chemistry. i wish i still wanted to be a dolphin psychologist. i really had my life figured out in sixth grade.
going away and away. i miss toronto all the time. and have the strangest dreams about it. i miss knowing where i want to go at night and going there. i miss being nineteen. i had more hope. less guilt. i really like to let it pile. maybe a lot of people live this way. i hate to think that people die this way. i keep seeing some kind of eventual resolution to all of this. but it wont really ever go away. and how scary is that. i hate that people think its some kind of cop out to believe so strongly in something. it makes every trivial thing so much more important. and one more thing to worry about.
nietzsche signs off with 'making music is another way of making children.' i wish i was excited about art as he was...
buffalo was not as cold this winter. and winter is almost over. im trying to be more active with non-school but there is just so much school to worry about. i wish kim came online ever so she could tell me if i should go to law school. i really just cant see myself doing it. but i cant see myself doing anything. i want to be in the city. i know what makes me happy and i want to keep those things in my life. and the differences between anthropology and cultural studies and public policy are not making themselves clear enough to me. i wish i had been good at chemistry. i wish i still wanted to be a dolphin psychologist. i really had my life figured out in sixth grade.
going away and away. i miss toronto all the time. and have the strangest dreams about it. i miss knowing where i want to go at night and going there. i miss being nineteen. i had more hope. less guilt. i really like to let it pile. maybe a lot of people live this way. i hate to think that people die this way. i keep seeing some kind of eventual resolution to all of this. but it wont really ever go away. and how scary is that. i hate that people think its some kind of cop out to believe so strongly in something. it makes every trivial thing so much more important. and one more thing to worry about.
nietzsche signs off with 'making music is another way of making children.' i wish i was excited about art as he was...