That looks sharp
Have you seen this new contraption they have at the dentist’s office? The ionic gum-rapper I think it was called. Are far as I can tell it’s a small, vibrating, curved blade, not unlike a scythe, that the hygienists drags back and forth across your gums until to confess to being a terrorist.
Actually, that’s not a terrible idea. Screw water-boarding. Send the people in Guantanamo to my dentist’s office for a cleaning. They’d better been fucking flossing or there’ll be hell to pay.
I sort of feel bad for dentists. It’s really unfortunate that dentists are the profession with the highest suicide rate, but when you think about it, it’s not very surprising. The service they provide involves lying you down in a chair, then drilling, stabbing and prodding your mouth with random metallic objects until you lose feeling in your limbs. After which they have to tell you that the blood seeping from every crevice in your mouth is your own fault. “You haven’t been flossing, have you?” Don’t lie here; they’ll just stab you more.
It’s enough to get anyone upset. The gentlest grandmother could walk in to the dentist’s office on elephant tranquilizers and still want to take a swing at the doctor before she walks out. Not that she would be able to. Elephant tranquilizers are strong shit. Even Ghandi would want to “pop a cap” by the time he was released.
Not surprisingly the result of this is a lot of resentment being directed at the dentist. When twenty people want to see you get stuffed into a microwave and be cooked on high everyday, except weekends, it’s got to get to you eventually.
The worst part is, I don’t think things can ever change. People will always have teeth, and will generally want to keep those teeth in their head for as long as the can. Unavoidably, this means that some point or another they’ll have to make a trip to the dentist’s office. So for the foreseeable future at least, dentistry will be the one form of torture exempted from the Geneva conventions.
Actually, that’s not a terrible idea. Screw water-boarding. Send the people in Guantanamo to my dentist’s office for a cleaning. They’d better been fucking flossing or there’ll be hell to pay.
I sort of feel bad for dentists. It’s really unfortunate that dentists are the profession with the highest suicide rate, but when you think about it, it’s not very surprising. The service they provide involves lying you down in a chair, then drilling, stabbing and prodding your mouth with random metallic objects until you lose feeling in your limbs. After which they have to tell you that the blood seeping from every crevice in your mouth is your own fault. “You haven’t been flossing, have you?” Don’t lie here; they’ll just stab you more.
It’s enough to get anyone upset. The gentlest grandmother could walk in to the dentist’s office on elephant tranquilizers and still want to take a swing at the doctor before she walks out. Not that she would be able to. Elephant tranquilizers are strong shit. Even Ghandi would want to “pop a cap” by the time he was released.
Not surprisingly the result of this is a lot of resentment being directed at the dentist. When twenty people want to see you get stuffed into a microwave and be cooked on high everyday, except weekends, it’s got to get to you eventually.
The worst part is, I don’t think things can ever change. People will always have teeth, and will generally want to keep those teeth in their head for as long as the can. Unavoidably, this means that some point or another they’ll have to make a trip to the dentist’s office. So for the foreseeable future at least, dentistry will be the one form of torture exempted from the Geneva conventions.