It had been three months since he had seen her. Six months since he was made, created... trapped in a human body and left to do as he would. Rose had left, left him to try to "figure things out
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Wearing only a light pink t-shirt and cotton shorts, Rose was busy doing paper work. Only a dim lamp in the corner and the blue glow of her laptop on the paper filled kitchen table was the light in the whole flat. It had gotten to the point where that's all she was doing these days.
After the initial heartache and guilt she felt from doing what she did and saying what she said, she dove into her work.
It didn't help, really.
Torchwood was all about protecting the Earth, and aliens, and alien technology- all were reminders of her short time with her Doctor.
HER Doctor.
She didn't have one at all now. Not that she deserved one.
She had thought he didn't deserve her, but these three months had proven that it was the exact opposite.
Rose sighed and put the next set of files on the other kitchen chair- her "outbox" of sorts, and was about to grab the next set of papers when there was a knock on the door.
She started, and looked at the clock on her laptop. Two in the morning.
With a confused look on her face, she stood up, looked around and bit her lip while she grabbed the gun sitting on the table near the front door, then walked towards it.
"Who is it?"
Waiting only a few moments for an answer, she held her gun at the ready, and opened the door.
She lowered the gun, and shakily set it back down, and was speechless.
He had been figiting outside the door, torn between hoping she'd open and praying she wasn't home. And when she did open the door he was taken aback. His Rose, armed. He almost laughed, it was very late, he was rather proud.
"Hello" was all he could manage to get out before running a hand through his already tousled hair. She was beautiful, though he always found her most stunning when she wasn't all dolled up, but rather just as she was. His clothing should give away who he actually was, behind the copied body.
She wanted to wrap her arms around him and tell him how sorry she was, how she missed him. THIS him, not the one traveling without her in her original world.
But all that came out was a bitter, "What are you doing here?"
She broke down. She didn't move from her spot, instead let her tears fall. The tiredness overcame her- so tired from being so overworked, and stressed, and the mental exhaustion of missing him.
"Why did you have to come back?" She asked through her tears, so angry, but she didn't know who she was more upset with: herself? him? the other alien Doctor who left her here twice?
The second he hears the faltering in her breath he is attempting to get to a position where he can hug her. He can't stand her crying, and he's seen her cry too many times, he's been the cause more than he ever should have been.
"I had to see you again. I missed you, the entire time I was gone I missed you." His thumb brushes her tears from her cheeks.
"It's not fair..." she whispered it at first, then repeated louder, yelling at him, hitting his chest since he was now in front of her, "IT'S NOT FAIR!"
She then fell into his arms, shaking, not fully understanding why she felt so...so...out of control.
Rose attempted to compose herself enough to bring her head up to face him, still hiccuping, she stared. Her eyes were scared, confused, and angry, breathing through her nose to keep from yelling again.
"You should have stayed gone," she didn't move, finally letting herself just be embraced. Allowing the feeling of wanting him to do so.
He took her anger in stride, he had not expected coming back to be easy. He just held her, let her release all the frustration she had been holding in.
Though when she told him he should have stayed away, his body tensed. He didn't want to be sent away, not again.
"You don't understand. I'm not 19 anymore! I'm not the shop girl you met back then with nothin' else going for her 'cept coming home to see her mum and her boyfriend!" She looked at him with pleading eyes.
"That's not me anymore. Mum was right... she knew that travelin' with you would change me. Woke up one morning and it's like I forgot who that other girl was."
She ran a hand through her already messed up hair, "I don't even know who I am anymore."
Rose looked at him, "I don't know who you are either."
She knew she didn't have to explain it- of course she knew who he was, but he was different. He wasn't her Doctor, but he was, but he wasn't. She needed to know, if only to remember who she was- because once she met him, back when he was big ears and leather jacket, her identity was no longer her own.
"Rose Tyler, you were never just a shop girl. All of this, all of the new you, it was just hiding inside waiting to come out. You we're always incredible, you just needed a little push to see it for yourself"
He cups her cheek, thumb tracing softly, as if remapping all the intricate details of her face.
This kiss was a bit of a surprise. He could feel her tension though and touched her face, opening himself to her. Sure she couldn't feel it quite like a Time Lord could, as he couldn't project himself quite as strongly. But he knew his thoughts would be there, a humming whisper in the back of her mind.
My Rose, you are the only one who ever could deserve me. I love you
The warmth of her lips against his, and the familiar buzzing of her presence, he was truly home again. He really only had memories of the TARDIS, memories of wonderful places he had been, yet he hadn't. This moment though, this one belonged to him, not the mirror of himself, the one that chose his freedom over love... the one that always would.
She wasn't upset, especially since it was that familiar feeling she missed so much. The humming inside her head when he spoke to her that way reminding her of her days in the blue box- the comforting feeling of a soothing and protective presence there. Only this time it wasn't the TARDIS, but the mostly alien man standing in front of her.
Protective.
She finally let herself smile.
It had been so long since she smiled.
This was real.
Rose looked at him, slight shock across her features, as if the hole inside of her was finally being patched up.
"You came back..." It was silly of her to say it out loud, but she felt she needed to reassure herself.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry for not noticing before..."
She looked him in the eye and with all sincerity in her voice, she said, "You are my Doctor."
Her smile immediately turns up his own lips, when she smiles like that, its nothing if not contagious.
Her Doctor
This is the first time she even vaguely addressed him like that and his heart races in his chest. And he loves her, this human girl; loved her before, when he was all ears and attitude. And now he will age, and maybe, just maybe, he will be able to do it alongside her.
He caresses her face.
"I love you"
He kisses her, tenderly. Taking his words and putting them inaction.
After the initial heartache and guilt she felt from doing what she did and saying what she said, she dove into her work.
It didn't help, really.
Torchwood was all about protecting the Earth, and aliens, and alien technology- all were reminders of her short time with her Doctor.
HER Doctor.
She didn't have one at all now. Not that she deserved one.
She had thought he didn't deserve her, but these three months had proven that it was the exact opposite.
Rose sighed and put the next set of files on the other kitchen chair- her "outbox" of sorts, and was about to grab the next set of papers when there was a knock on the door.
She started, and looked at the clock on her laptop. Two in the morning.
With a confused look on her face, she stood up, looked around and bit her lip while she grabbed the gun sitting on the table near the front door, then walked towards it.
"Who is it?"
Waiting only a few moments for an answer, she held her gun at the ready, and opened the door.
She lowered the gun, and shakily set it back down, and was speechless.
It wasn't real.
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"Hello" was all he could manage to get out before running a hand through his already tousled hair. She was beautiful, though he always found her most stunning when she wasn't all dolled up, but rather just as she was. His clothing should give away who he actually was, behind the copied body.
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But all that came out was a bitter, "What are you doing here?"
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"Coming to talk to you. I had to come back and see you, Rose"
He wants to reach out to touch her, to hug her.
"I missed you" he whispers, almost inaudible.
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She sighs, runs a hand through her hair, and turns to walk inside, leaving the door open as an unspoken invitation to let himself in.
Still without talking, she gets back to her chair at the kitchen table, and starts to do her work again.
Typing on her laptop, and looking at her papers with her back to him, she finally speaks.
"Close the door behind you, blankets are where they were before...there's some juice in the fridge if you're thirsty."
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He makes his way to stand behind her, curious as to what she was working on. A quick scan of the paper and screen before he says anything.
"Using the patterning you see here" he points to a spot on the paper, "and here" another spot on the screen, "will make the translation much simpler."
He brushes a strand of her hair off her face.
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"Thanks."
She was tired.
She broke down. She didn't move from her spot, instead let her tears fall. The tiredness overcame her- so tired from being so overworked, and stressed, and the mental exhaustion of missing him.
"Why did you have to come back?" She asked through her tears, so angry, but she didn't know who she was more upset with: herself? him? the other alien Doctor who left her here twice?
"I was getting over you..."
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"I had to see you again. I missed you, the entire time I was gone I missed you." His thumb brushes her tears from her cheeks.
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She then fell into his arms, shaking, not fully understanding why she felt so...so...out of control.
Rose attempted to compose herself enough to bring her head up to face him, still hiccuping, she stared. Her eyes were scared, confused, and angry, breathing through her nose to keep from yelling again.
"You should have stayed gone," she didn't move, finally letting herself just be embraced. Allowing the feeling of wanting him to do so.
It felt wrong.
She didn't deserve it.
"I'm not the same."
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Though when she told him he should have stayed away, his body tensed. He didn't want to be sent away, not again.
"I'm not the same either"
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"That's not me anymore. Mum was right... she knew that travelin' with you would change me. Woke up one morning and it's like I forgot who that other girl was."
She ran a hand through her already messed up hair, "I don't even know who I am anymore."
Rose looked at him, "I don't know who you are either."
She knew she didn't have to explain it- of course she knew who he was, but he was different. He wasn't her Doctor, but he was, but he wasn't. She needed to know, if only to remember who she was- because once she met him, back when he was big ears and leather jacket, her identity was no longer her own.
Reply
He cups her cheek, thumb tracing softly, as if remapping all the intricate details of her face.
"I'm the Doctor, but I'm different, I came back"
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Without thinking, being so close, and his words ringing in her ears, she kissed him.
He came back.
He always came back.
That was the difference.
But the kiss was painful for her... it still didn't feel right- she felt that she needed to be forgiven.
I shouldn't be doing this... after everything I said to him... after everything I did... it's not fair... I don't deserve him...
Her thoughts were fighting what her heart wanted. And it hurt.
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My Rose, you are the only one who ever could deserve me. I love you
The warmth of her lips against his, and the familiar buzzing of her presence, he was truly home again. He really only had memories of the TARDIS, memories of wonderful places he had been, yet he hadn't. This moment though, this one belonged to him, not the mirror of himself, the one that chose his freedom over love... the one that always would.
Reply
"You...in my head-?"
She wasn't upset, especially since it was that familiar feeling she missed so much. The humming inside her head when he spoke to her that way reminding her of her days in the blue box- the comforting feeling of a soothing and protective presence there. Only this time it wasn't the TARDIS, but the mostly alien man standing in front of her.
Protective.
She finally let herself smile.
It had been so long since she smiled.
This was real.
Rose looked at him, slight shock across her features, as if the hole inside of her was finally being patched up.
"You came back..." It was silly of her to say it out loud, but she felt she needed to reassure herself.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry for not noticing before..."
She looked him in the eye and with all sincerity in her voice, she said, "You are my Doctor."
Reply
Her Doctor
This is the first time she even vaguely addressed him like that and his heart races in his chest. And he loves her, this human girl; loved her before, when he was all ears and attitude. And now he will age, and maybe, just maybe, he will be able to do it alongside her.
He caresses her face.
"I love you"
He kisses her, tenderly. Taking his words and putting them inaction.
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