We all need a best friend to understand...

[jewhawk]

Who? jewhawk and rockstarwarbler
What? The coolest part of best friends is that you can talk about anything
When? About a week after this
Where? Blaine and Kurt's place.
Rating: Adult topics

Comments

[rockstarwarbler]

"Well, I didn't know what I was looking for either until I found it," Blaine reminded him, gesturing with his cup. "Kurt and me were friends, I was so worried I'd lose that. He was the first person in my whole life who understood me. Anything that came after that was just a natural progression. I think you just need to drop the blinkers and start seeing the world differently. You have been very close-minded your whole life. Now you have a whole new world of opportunities open to you. I don't know, don't go into anything just thinking about sex for starters. It's not about sex. Sex comes later."

He held his hand up. "Hang on. I didn't say it wasn't just sex whatever it was you did. I'm jealous because I haven't had a good lay in nearly two weeks. Another story. What I'm saying is that just because it was just sex, that doesn't mean feelings might have stemmed from it. It's still something you have never done with anyone before, and something you were pretty closed off to before. You haven't known you were gay to come out before now, but maybe you haven't known of... other feelings under the surface, either. And dude, you agreed pretty easily to let Mike do you. Just saying. It's Mike we're talking about. Nothing freaks him out."

[jewhawk]

"True," Puck admitted, crossing his arms over his chest quietly. Blaine had always been able to get through to him on some different level to everyone else, and Puck wasn't even sure he knew why. Blaine often joked it was just because he was too much of a butt pain to let anything go until he was sure his point had been made. "I asked Mike if he thought maybe the reason I never got serious with anybody was because there was a part of me that only really wanted to be serious with dudes or whatever... He said it was possible. I don't know if that was it or not, but it kinda made sense in my head."

"It was definitely different... But Mike was awesome about it, and just kinda... let me take my time, you know? It meant a lot to me. I mean, yeah... I guess it's hard to think about if you have feelings for a guy or not when you don't even think you're into guys at the time, but it was..." He shrugged, scooting back into his seat. Puck had never really been one for serious romantic feelings, and he really hadn't expected them in reference to Mike. "I agreed to let Mike do me because I wanted to do it, but I was nervous, and I knew Mike'd be cool about it, you know? But I don't wanna say anything, dude, cuz I..." He trailed off, unsure himself how he wanted to continue that train of thought.

[rockstarwarbler]

"It's possible. People have varying tastes. Me, I like committed relationships. I always have. The casual never even appealed to me and scared me more than anything. Maybe you were overcompensating. Weren't you and Santana the biggest sluts of McKinley? And she turned out to be a lesbian. How much did you like having anal with chicks?" Blaine asked deviously with a laugh that just sent him into a coughing fit.

He nodded, patting at his chest. "The first time Kurt and me did it, it took us ages. It was really slow, we were nervous, there was some shyness. I hadn't seen him naked. I hadn't even touched his dick. We had a no below the belt policy before that. Then I got drunk and tried to come onto him in the back of a car in the parking lot of a gay bar. Seriously, slow, steady and nice was way, way better. And more memorable, because you should remember your first time. I doubt your first time with a chick was anything special. You what? I can't tell if you're just making excuse now or what. I can't keep filling in my own gaps just to have you deny anything. You need to figure out if you want a relationship or not, and that's the easy bit. Finding it is a whole other story. You could just ask Mike out on a date," he pointed out with a shrug.

[jewhawk]

Puck snorted without meaning to at Blaine's question. "Not gonna lie, dude, I was a fan. But... I don't know, maybe I was. I never thought about it. Who knows, dude, maybe I always wanted cock."

"Dude, I was nervous as fuck. Mike called me out on it, too. But it was good, and I'll definitely never forget it. My first time with a chick was a joke. I was too young, and I had been drinking, and I didn't have a clue. I'm not making excuses," Puck admitted, finally. "Okay, dude, I'll admit it. I'm scared to death. I know what I want. I want a relationship. I know I do. But the idea of that? Of being that close to somebody and having them know you like that? It scares the shit out of me."

[rockstarwarbler]

Blaine just snickered at this and gave his BFF a knowing smirk when he sipped from his tea. "Maybe you always did. There's nothing wrong with that. Anal sex is great, it's hot. The things Kurt does to my ass are mindblowing. It's like I can never get enough. And there is just something about feeling a guys hard cock up against you and knowing you're the cause of that that's fantastic. Definitely not something you get with a chick. It drives me fucking wild. Or when I see Kurt all done up in one of his hot outfits and tight pants, and I can see he's turned on. That's one of the best things ever."

"It's good he did. You can't progress if you're bottling anything up. Kurt and me talked a lot through our first time, about how we were feeling and what felt good. It helped a lot. He nearly shot through the roof in shock when I first put my finger in his ass, though. It took a lot for him to become accustomed to. He wasn't sure he liked it at first and had a whole panic that maybe it meant he wasn't gay," he said with a fond smile. "Why does that scare you so much?"

[jewhawk]

"It's different than pussy... As obvious as that sounds... I mean, I've only been on the giving end of anal with chicks, but it felt incredible. And it felt fucking awesome with Mike, too... Who would've though, Noah Puckerman enjoying getting a cock up the ass? But, dude, it was like... I mean, yeah, it hurt, but it was like... I don't even know how to explain it, but it was totally different than anything I've ever felt before. Mike rocks in bed... Said it was a pretty common thing with dancers. But, fuck, dude..." He shook his head. It wasn't that he and Blaine had never discussed sex before, but this was totally different.

"It was definitely a new sensation. It was unreal how it felt... But I think I could get used to it. Having him inside me, man? I don't even know how to explain it. But yeah, he was great... Went so slow, and just... Man, it was something else, that's for damn sure. But it felt... Even though it kinda hurt? It also felt right... Dude, what the fuck, I'm sitting here gushing about cock." He shrugged, that question bringing him to a very real conclusion. "Well, it's the whole... Someone else knowing you so intimately and shit? That's... It's a big deal, man. Takes a lot of trust."

[rockstarwarbler]

Blaine had to bite down on the inside of his cheek at that, but he couldn't stop the laugh wanting to escape. "I'm totally shocked an ass is different to a pussy. Who would have thought?" he joked. "It stops hurting. That's only the first couple of times. And there is way, way more to gay sex than just a dick up an ass that you'll have to experience. There's giving and receiving blow jobs, which will take a bit of getting used to. Rimming's awesome too. The prostate is a whole new realm you won't know about unless you've let a girl stick something up there. There's some fantastic positions with gay sex too."

He got up then and went over to the large bookcase lining one of the walls and pulled one of the drawers open from the bottom, and then came back with The Joy of Gay Sex and The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex, handing them to Puck. "We bought these off Amazon after our first time. We don't really need them anymore, so you may as well take them to read. It really helped. The first one is more about technique, the second is more medical stuff. You'll probably appreciate the information more now. And yeah, it's a lot of trust. But you can take it as a one time experimentation, or maybe there's more there to explore..."

[jewhawk]

Puck lightly reached over to punch Blaine playfully in the shoulder. "Dude, you know what I mean. Holy shit, giving blow jobs..." He hadn't really thought about that part all that much, other than when Mike had mentioned jokingly that his first time giving one had been kind of messy. "Nah, I've never had anything up there... Until the other night, anyway. But it's... It was definitely awesome."

As Blaine returned with the two books, Puck held them in his hands and looked them over. Glancing up at Blaine appreciatively, he put both of the books on his lap. "Thanks, dude. I'm gonna have to read up for my next experience," he said, in a tone that was clearly serious, and not his usual joking. This was something that was very serious to him, and he had no intention of going in without knowing what the fuck he was doing from here on out. "I... should probably talk to Mike," he finally admitted, glancing down at his cell as if trying to figure out what the fuck he was going to say to him if he did.

[rockstarwarbler]

Blaine watched Puck uncertainly, trying to figure out if he was just bewildered or horrified at the notion of a blow job. "They take some getting used to, but once you get the hang of it, it's brilliant. I mean, I actually had sex with Kurt before we attempted oral. Neither of us were really sure about it. The receiving seemed easy enough, but the giving was a bit daunting. And, uh... even more so if your partner is well-endowed. You pick up a technique, though. It's pretty cool. That and, um... rimming. Rimming is out of this world. That's another thing Kurt nearly hit the roof with when I told him I wanted to try it," he chuckled.

"It's not like homework. More like porn, but learning from it. Those books were like bibles in the early days. What are you so worried about with talking to him again? You can tell me, you know. I'm not going to judge," he added. Of course he wouldn't judge, he just didn't get Puck's nerves when Mike had always been a good mate and was a good guy in general. He didn't know what Puck's anxiety was about.

[jewhawk]

"Yeah... I'm guessing I'm gonna suck at it at first... Pun probably intended. I see drool and awkwardness in my future, dude." He realized when Blaine mentioned the added factor of one's partner being of the larger persuasion, that he was thinking about Mike. And there was that rimming thing again, and Puck really felt suddenly like a prude with this whole new world of things he'd never done. He'd always been on the cutting edge of getting laid and doing things related to it when he was younger, but now, it was like starting all over in some ways. "That whole thing sounds kinda intense."

"That's kinda awesome," Puck said, flipping through one of them absentmindedly. He thought about Blaine's question long and hard for a moment before he got his thoughts together. "Because maybe I do have feelings for him, B... But he's my friend, and... Dude, if he turns me down, it's not like getting turned down by some would-be random fuck in a bar. It's getting turned down by somebody you seriously care about and have for a long time, before it was even this kinda deal, and... I don't know, dude. Does that sound stupid?"

[rockstarwarbler]

"My first blow job was as awkward as hell, yes, but Kurt loved it. It could have been the fact it was his first time receiving too, but you know, when you are on the end of a BJ, it's not like you're lying there critiquing. Someone is sucking your dick! Not a lot matters. Just watch the teeth and don't get too over-adventurous with the deep-throating too quick, or you'll gag. Use your tongue and your lips, and remember that you don't need to focus on the whole dick all at once until you get used to it. It's only the head that has any sort of sexual sensation. You can use your hand on the rest of it. And the balls. Never, ever forget the balls. It helps to think about what you like too as a guidance to what you do. That's a lot of how I started out, until Kurt started to guide me on other things he liked. Anything new with sex is intense, dude, but sucking a dick isn't rocket science. Just don't bite or you'll never be let down there again," Blaine said reassuringly.

His eyes widened at the confession he didn't think he would get. He suspected, but it wasn't like he was going to force Puck into anything if he didn't want it. He was expecting more evasiveness and avoidance, which Puck had well-honed when it came to anything gay. "Dude, it's Mike. Mike's an exception to any rule. He is your friend, but he's not just any friend either. He's one of your closest and he's one of the most laid back and chilled guys I know who has been in your shoes in the past. He's not going to judge. He's not going to turn you down all Jersey Shore style, he'll tell you why he is and you won't be left hanging. It doesn't sound stupid, but just give him the benefit of the doubt."

[jewhawk]

"Got it," Puck said, although he wasn't entirely sure he did get it. It seemed like a lot of getting it would only come from actually doing it. "Dude, I never thought I'd be having this conversation. But... I gotta say, I'm lucky as fuck you're my BFF. Like, seriously fucking lucky. I don't know what I'd do without you, man. You're like... My Yoda of gay stuff." He grinned, even as his mind stored away the advice Blaine had given for future reference. "Come on, dude... I have a dick. There's not a chance in hell that I'd actually bite one. I mean, damn."

"I... I haven't ever seriously liked somebody enough to really wanna go out with them," Puck admitted. "I mean, I love Quinn to death, don't get me wrong, but the reason I wanted to be with Quinn was because of knocking her up. I thought I was supposed to want it. But... I don't know, dude. I know Mike won't judge me or be a dickhead even if he's not interested... I'm such a fuckin' pussy, man."

[rockstarwarbler]

Blaine shrugged and stretched his short legs out in front of him to put his heels up on the coffee table. He indulged in indiscretions like that when Kurt wasn't around to bitchpls him, and at least he had socks on, right? Mismatched (another faux pas) but still socks. "You didn't know you were into guys, how would you have anticipated a conversation like that? I'm no Yoda, I'm just experienced. This is all I've known, remember? I've only ever been with one guy. But we've always had a really healthy sex life, and I'm cool with answering any questions if you have them. It's not like we're teenagers anymore. And you say that with confidence now, but you do not know how easy it is for a jaw to feel like biting down around a large mouthful. It's human nature. Blow jobs take concentration. As questionable as the concept seems, rimming is much easier."

"Yeah, but dude, you're no spring chicken anymore. You're getting older, and I know you. You don't want to be like this for the rest of your life. There's always been a part of you that wondered about the whole commitment thing, even if you didn't understand. You've asked me about how it's like with Kurt many times, even if you were drunk some of the times. And it's good," he insisted, even if he was repeating himself. "It's the most amazing thing ever. Life is just... awesome when you share it with someone. You aren't going to know if you don't just give it a shot."

[jewhawk]

Seeing Blaine put his feet up, Puck turned a mischievous smirk on his friend. Blaine putting his feet on the coffee table was roughly the same as a teenage Puck bringing weed home for the first time, and it made Puck grin. "Well, yeah, but still. Do you think Yoda was automatically the most badass Jedi? I'm sure he learned from experience, too. That... sounds horrifying. I'm glad nobody's ever bitten my cock, dude. But rimming sounds kinda... I mean... I don't know, it seems very... against first instict, I guess?"

"Thanks for reminding me," Puck teased, offering a grin to his friend. "But in all seriousness, dude, I know. I'm getting older, and I'm not gonna lie and say that I don't like the idea of having someone at my house when I get home at night. Somebody who'll talk to me about their day and ask about mine, and crawl in bed with me at the end of the day. I do want it, dude... I just have to grow a pair and ask for the first date, I guess."

[rockstarwarbler]

Blaine pointed at Puck. "Maybe, but how do we know? He might well have just been the Jedi messiah who was born knowing everything. It could happen, we don't know for sure. Maybe he was just put on the Jedi planet to help others learn? Which I definitely wasn't. Everything I know, I learnt. Even before I met Kurt, I had to do a lot of reading and researching myself just to even understand the concept of gay. You know why? Because I didn't want be gay once upon a time. I grew up in Ohio with a homophobic father. I didn't understand what I was, and I certainly didn't want to be it. But you can't fight who you are, dude. Sooner or later, it's going to take over and if you don't nurture it, it will take you down. It doesn't matter how long it takes you to learn, just so long as you are working towards it. And on the contrary, it's actually very instinctual. Dogs sniff each others asses when they're sexually attracted to each other. Why do you think God or whoever evolved us put the prostate up there?"

"Yep, and that's all understandable. But you have to figure out whether that person is male or female, because that is what it will all boil down to," he reasoned. "With Kurt, I knew I was searching for a lot of different things he was. I just didn't know it until I found it and suddenly I realised he was there, and was exactly what I had been wanting and needing."

[jewhawk]

"I guess that's true... But there's more than just one Jedi planet, dude. If you wanna get technical." He grinned, but his expression became more serious as he listened to Blaine. "Dude, it never once occurred to me until the last while that I could be gay. I've always been with girls, and the next thing I know, Mike's dick's in my ass, and I fucking like it, and it's... It's different, but it feels right... Like it's just another part of me that I didn't know before, but now I do. And I guess that does make sense... I just meant the way that most people think about asses... They're not really the first place you're taught to put your mouth," he said, halfway joking.

"It's funny," Puck said, turning to look at Blaine. "Me and Mike were talking, and dude? We want so much of the same stuff, too. I... I think I'm getting to that point where all that stuff is what I want... Maybe I'll just talk to him about it." It was a big thing to think about, but if there was a chance, Puck wanted to take it. He'd messed up enough good things in his past by jumping the gun, though. This was something he wanted to do the right way."