(no subject)
SATURDAY:
i hung out with joy for the first time last night.
she said she wasnt uncomfortable, but im not so sure about myself.
it was a strange feeling, an dull feeling, a "who am i?" feeling.
maybe im too immature to hang out with such a high class drug.
like as if i dont know what is considered "fun" with others.
i felt somewhat disgusted, tired. like i needed to run away.
the night ended in a lonely manner.
full of headaches and insomnia.
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the physical section of my health triangle is thrown off.
not physical as in working out though.
physical as in love.
being physically loved.
a need to be hugged, held, kissed?
one side of the triangle being bothered, hurts the others.
my social and mental self are suffering.
i need a car, to drive, to find the one i love.
distance is so unfortunate.
SUNDAY (EDIT):
so yeah, yesterday didnt go to well.
but today seemed to have been much better.
i hung out with cait for the first time.
this must be the weekend for meeting new people.
we were planning to go to the ro[tten]chester park, but didnt.
it was still a fun time. went to amanda moore elementary.
we went on the swings, and the slides, and it was smile-worthy.
it went by quick. a pretty fast-forwarded "kodak" kind of day.
i had my camera but was too lazy to use it.
drove to davids to pick up drinks, then to nicks to visit.
listened to pretty gangsta music, had a good laugh.
i managed to get a hug from both nick and cait.
i guess thats all i really needed.
thanks.
i hung out with joy for the first time last night.
she said she wasnt uncomfortable, but im not so sure about myself.
it was a strange feeling, an dull feeling, a "who am i?" feeling.
maybe im too immature to hang out with such a high class drug.
like as if i dont know what is considered "fun" with others.
i felt somewhat disgusted, tired. like i needed to run away.
the night ended in a lonely manner.
full of headaches and insomnia.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
the physical section of my health triangle is thrown off.
not physical as in working out though.
physical as in love.
being physically loved.
a need to be hugged, held, kissed?
one side of the triangle being bothered, hurts the others.
my social and mental self are suffering.
i need a car, to drive, to find the one i love.
distance is so unfortunate.
SUNDAY (EDIT):
so yeah, yesterday didnt go to well.
but today seemed to have been much better.
i hung out with cait for the first time.
this must be the weekend for meeting new people.
we were planning to go to the ro[tten]chester park, but didnt.
it was still a fun time. went to amanda moore elementary.
we went on the swings, and the slides, and it was smile-worthy.
it went by quick. a pretty fast-forwarded "kodak" kind of day.
i had my camera but was too lazy to use it.
drove to davids to pick up drinks, then to nicks to visit.
listened to pretty gangsta music, had a good laugh.
i managed to get a hug from both nick and cait.
i guess thats all i really needed.
thanks.