Just a little thing I've been thinking about
Characters are weird, sometimes. And, by, extension, PEOPLE are weird sometimes.
I've been in a high creative mood lately, but in one of those ways where it's hard to harness it into anything-- my brain's on such overdrive that it can't actually settle on a train of thought long enough for me to get anything OUT of it. And there are definitely WORSE things. :) But one of the things I've been doing a little bit has been thinking about various characters I have played in the past and the present as well as characters I have written. Only a few of you will know what I mean by this, but I've been having some serious trouble with Carden and getting into his headspace which, along with all the health and life things, is part of what has been contributing to my absence.
The whole thing I originally CREATED Carden to be and do and the main thing I liked about him is basically gone now. It made sense for it to leave and I feel like I've really played through all the scenes leading up to and through that character change. But I liked that he was totally naive and shy and *broken* and thought that no one would ever love him. But there comes a point when you either have to keep playing a character that way in the absence of ANY reason other than obstinance, or have them CHANGE.
I tend to believe that, as people, if we are learning, we are changing. There are core things about us that never do, but life is learning and growing and changing who we are, whether it's slow, or dramatic. So it seems VERY counterproductive to me to RP a character, or write a character in a story, that doesn't change and grow. But what do you do when that character grows into something that isn't what you originally intended? Don't get me wrong, I still LIKE Carden. I still like Ushiko, I still like Alexandren, I still like all of my characters that I have played and who have changed and sorted their shit out. (Alexandren still MAY not have totally sorted it out, but his fucked-up has sort of plateaued at least) But they aren't what they were when they started, and sometimes, I kind of miss the lack.
At the same time, though, that's kind of the beauty of RP, isn't it? That your character can meet and be affected by a huge number of outside factors.
Anyway, this isn't really a rant, honestly, just something that sort of flitted through my head and I'm trying to post more, so I thought I'd share. :D
I've been in a high creative mood lately, but in one of those ways where it's hard to harness it into anything-- my brain's on such overdrive that it can't actually settle on a train of thought long enough for me to get anything OUT of it. And there are definitely WORSE things. :) But one of the things I've been doing a little bit has been thinking about various characters I have played in the past and the present as well as characters I have written. Only a few of you will know what I mean by this, but I've been having some serious trouble with Carden and getting into his headspace which, along with all the health and life things, is part of what has been contributing to my absence.
The whole thing I originally CREATED Carden to be and do and the main thing I liked about him is basically gone now. It made sense for it to leave and I feel like I've really played through all the scenes leading up to and through that character change. But I liked that he was totally naive and shy and *broken* and thought that no one would ever love him. But there comes a point when you either have to keep playing a character that way in the absence of ANY reason other than obstinance, or have them CHANGE.
I tend to believe that, as people, if we are learning, we are changing. There are core things about us that never do, but life is learning and growing and changing who we are, whether it's slow, or dramatic. So it seems VERY counterproductive to me to RP a character, or write a character in a story, that doesn't change and grow. But what do you do when that character grows into something that isn't what you originally intended? Don't get me wrong, I still LIKE Carden. I still like Ushiko, I still like Alexandren, I still like all of my characters that I have played and who have changed and sorted their shit out. (Alexandren still MAY not have totally sorted it out, but his fucked-up has sort of plateaued at least) But they aren't what they were when they started, and sometimes, I kind of miss the lack.
At the same time, though, that's kind of the beauty of RP, isn't it? That your character can meet and be affected by a huge number of outside factors.
Anyway, this isn't really a rant, honestly, just something that sort of flitted through my head and I'm trying to post more, so I thought I'd share. :D