[the muses stage]: 7 times you apologized and meant it
1. “I’m sorry, Mommy,” Gabriel said softly, crawling up onto the bed where his Mother was sitting, crying, and he wrapped his arms around her neck to hug her tightly. He knew that it wasn’t his fault what had happened, but when she was said, he felt that he should say it. It was what they said at funerals after all, and since her husband, and his father had just left, it was sort of like a death, at least that was how he saw it. She sniffed and wiped her nose on her hanky at that, and then gave him a weak smile as she pulled him into her lap.
“It’s okay, sweetie, Mommy’s just a little sad. It’s not your fault, any of this. And don’t you ever think that Gabriel.”
2. “I’m sorry, Mommy,” Gabriel said softly, sniffing and wiping his nose on his sleeve as he looked at his feet, and at the snow globe that was smashed on the floor. He hadn’t meant to break it, he had been playing, and gotten too caught up in his imagination. He’d bumped into the table and it had fallen off, smashing on the floor. He’d frozen, wide eyed staring down at it when his Mother had come in to see what had happened. Of course, she was more concerned that something had happened to him, and gave him a warm smile; and leaned down to hug him.
“It’s okay, sweetie, Mommy can get a new one, she’s just happy that you’re okay.”
3. “I’m sorry, Mom!” Gabriel said quickly, sitting up in the hospital and wincing as he did so, grumbling as he leaned back on the bed. He should have probably been more concerned about why he was in the hospital, but in that moment, he was more worried about what he mother was going to do to him. He hadn’t meant to fall out of the tree and break his arm, but then again, who did mean to do something like that? It had happened though and the ambulance had come to get him at school, and by the time he had woken up from the anesthesia his mother was at his side, looking pale and worried.
“It’s okay, sweetie, I’m just glad nothing worse happened. You could have fallen and cracked your head open!”
4. “I’m sorry, Mom,” Gabriel muttered sheepishly as he stared at the ground, unable to look at her, or at the car that now had a long scratch down the it’s left side. He was just going to borrow it to run some errands, and then go see a movie because it was a Friday night, and he wanted to do something other than sitting in all evening. He’d only gotten his license a few months before, so the guilt that he felt for managing to scratch the car was even greater. He’d been stunned when he walked out of the theater and saw it there, and didn’t know how to explain it, but still, he felt it was his fault.
“It’s okay, sweetie. Just run down to the gas station tomorrow and pick up some paint. You’ve always been good at fixing things, I’m sure that you can fix this too.”
5. “I’m sorry, Mom,” Gabriel said, biting his lip as he gave his Mother a sheepish smile. Ben was standing next to him with the same sort of expression on his face, and he took muttered an apology to her as she stared at him. The plan had been for Ben to spend the night, and they were going to sneak out. They had done that, they just hadn’t factored in that there would be gunshot sounds right outside the apartment and for her to rush in to check on them, only to find that they were gone from their beds. That of course had lead her to panic, thinking that something had happened to ‘her boys’ as she called them, so when they tried to sneak back inside, she was sitting there on his bed, clinging to his pillow as she worried that her son might have been shot.
“It’s okay, sweetie. I was just worried. The gunshots and all, I thought something had happened to my little baby!”
6. “I’m sorry, Mom” Gabriel said quietly. He hadn’t become what she had wanted him to become, any of it. He had become a watchmaker, just like his father, and she knew that he was disappointed in him. Of course she would never straight out say that she was disappointed in him, but that didn’t matter because he could feel it. He could feel it in the way she looked at him and the tone of her voice, so she didn’t need to say it. He had had a job interview, to become something else, to work at a bank. She’d thought that it would be a good job for him, a bank manager, of course he wouldn’t start there, but she had faith in him, and believed that he could be the best.
“It’s okay, sweetie, you’ll nail it next time. I know you will. You’re so smart. You could be anything you want. You could even be president.”
7. “I’m sorry, Mother,” Gabriel said, his words dripping with bitterness. He was sitting on his knees on the floor of her apartment, her blood covering his hands. He had painted with it, a picture of an explosion, and he knew now what it was he had to do. He hadn’t meant to kill her when he came to her apartment. He just wanted to show her that he was finally special, just like she had wanted all along. But she hadn’t seen it that way, she hadn’t understood. She had seen him as a monster and told him to get away from her. He wasn’t a monster though, he was her little boy, just like he’d always been.
This time there was no reassurance that everything was okay. This time there was only silence that met his apology, and all hope for him was gone.
“It’s okay, sweetie, Mommy’s just a little sad. It’s not your fault, any of this. And don’t you ever think that Gabriel.”
2. “I’m sorry, Mommy,” Gabriel said softly, sniffing and wiping his nose on his sleeve as he looked at his feet, and at the snow globe that was smashed on the floor. He hadn’t meant to break it, he had been playing, and gotten too caught up in his imagination. He’d bumped into the table and it had fallen off, smashing on the floor. He’d frozen, wide eyed staring down at it when his Mother had come in to see what had happened. Of course, she was more concerned that something had happened to him, and gave him a warm smile; and leaned down to hug him.
“It’s okay, sweetie, Mommy can get a new one, she’s just happy that you’re okay.”
3. “I’m sorry, Mom!” Gabriel said quickly, sitting up in the hospital and wincing as he did so, grumbling as he leaned back on the bed. He should have probably been more concerned about why he was in the hospital, but in that moment, he was more worried about what he mother was going to do to him. He hadn’t meant to fall out of the tree and break his arm, but then again, who did mean to do something like that? It had happened though and the ambulance had come to get him at school, and by the time he had woken up from the anesthesia his mother was at his side, looking pale and worried.
“It’s okay, sweetie, I’m just glad nothing worse happened. You could have fallen and cracked your head open!”
4. “I’m sorry, Mom,” Gabriel muttered sheepishly as he stared at the ground, unable to look at her, or at the car that now had a long scratch down the it’s left side. He was just going to borrow it to run some errands, and then go see a movie because it was a Friday night, and he wanted to do something other than sitting in all evening. He’d only gotten his license a few months before, so the guilt that he felt for managing to scratch the car was even greater. He’d been stunned when he walked out of the theater and saw it there, and didn’t know how to explain it, but still, he felt it was his fault.
“It’s okay, sweetie. Just run down to the gas station tomorrow and pick up some paint. You’ve always been good at fixing things, I’m sure that you can fix this too.”
5. “I’m sorry, Mom,” Gabriel said, biting his lip as he gave his Mother a sheepish smile. Ben was standing next to him with the same sort of expression on his face, and he took muttered an apology to her as she stared at him. The plan had been for Ben to spend the night, and they were going to sneak out. They had done that, they just hadn’t factored in that there would be gunshot sounds right outside the apartment and for her to rush in to check on them, only to find that they were gone from their beds. That of course had lead her to panic, thinking that something had happened to ‘her boys’ as she called them, so when they tried to sneak back inside, she was sitting there on his bed, clinging to his pillow as she worried that her son might have been shot.
“It’s okay, sweetie. I was just worried. The gunshots and all, I thought something had happened to my little baby!”
6. “I’m sorry, Mom” Gabriel said quietly. He hadn’t become what she had wanted him to become, any of it. He had become a watchmaker, just like his father, and she knew that he was disappointed in him. Of course she would never straight out say that she was disappointed in him, but that didn’t matter because he could feel it. He could feel it in the way she looked at him and the tone of her voice, so she didn’t need to say it. He had had a job interview, to become something else, to work at a bank. She’d thought that it would be a good job for him, a bank manager, of course he wouldn’t start there, but she had faith in him, and believed that he could be the best.
“It’s okay, sweetie, you’ll nail it next time. I know you will. You’re so smart. You could be anything you want. You could even be president.”
7. “I’m sorry, Mother,” Gabriel said, his words dripping with bitterness. He was sitting on his knees on the floor of her apartment, her blood covering his hands. He had painted with it, a picture of an explosion, and he knew now what it was he had to do. He hadn’t meant to kill her when he came to her apartment. He just wanted to show her that he was finally special, just like she had wanted all along. But she hadn’t seen it that way, she hadn’t understood. She had seen him as a monster and told him to get away from her. He wasn’t a monster though, he was her little boy, just like he’d always been.
This time there was no reassurance that everything was okay. This time there was only silence that met his apology, and all hope for him was gone.