the_muses_stage 30.5 Decision
Gabriel’s heart pounded in his chest as he ran up the stairs to the apartment he shared with his mother. He cringed as the door banged against the wall in his rush to throw it open, though the worry about getting yelled at for that quickly disappeared as it hit him again just why he was in such a rush to get inside. Shoes were slipped off in the hall before he hurried to his room, quickly closing the door behind him.
“Gabriel? Is that you?”
A soft groan passed his lips as he heard his mother’s voice, and he closed his eyes as he leaned back against the door. He was tempted to not answer her, not yet at least, but he knew that if he didn’t she would get up out of bed and come see what it was, and that wasn’t something he wanted in that moment. Instead he opened the door again to call back to her, just to make sure that he could have another moment alone.
“Yeah, Mom it’s me. I’ll be there in a second, okay?”
“Okay, sweetheart. I just wanted to make sure that it was you!”
He waited for a moment to make sure she wasn’t going to ask anything else of him in that moment, before he went to his desk to finally stare at what he held clutched in his hand.
He’d been waiting for this for months. He’d been waiting for this since before he applied, even. His reply from Stanford, where he’d applied with the plan to take one of the courses in the engineering field. Freshman didn’t have to declare a major, after all, so which course he was going to take he wasn’t quite sure of yet, though he’d narrowed it down to be between Aeronautics & Astronautics, and Mechanical Engineering.
His heart was still pounding as he stared at the envelope in front of him, though it wasn’t from running now. Panic was running through him, because though he’d pictured this moment thousands of times in his head, and prepared himself for the potential rejection, he still wasn’t sure whether he wanted to read it. He’d never been able to handle rejection well, so getting turned down from the school of his dreams was something he wanted to put off as long as possible.
Curiousity was as curiousity is, though, and it got the better of him; and with shaking hands he carefully opened the envelope. Another deep, shaky breath was taken before he slowly pulled out the paper, though closed his eyes, just to postpone it a few more moments. A gulp, before he opened his eyes slowly, just peeking at first; before they widened and threatened to pop out of his head.
Dear Gabriel.
Congratulations! It is with pleasure that I offer you admission to the Stanford University Class of 2001.
Congratulations!
The word was there, black on white, but he still couldn’t wrap his head around it. Being accepted wasn’t something that he’d prepared for.
“Gabriel?”
The call of his mother’s voice pulled him from his dazed state, and he dropped the letter onto the desk and got up to move out of his bedroom and to hers.
“What is it, Mom?”
He smiled at her, a soft smile as he peered in the room and to where she was in bed. She’d been bedridden for the past month after a heart attack.
“I was just wondering if you’d heard back from any of the schools that you’d applied to. I know you’re going to get into one. You’re going to be great, Gabriel. You’re my special boy, and you can do anything you put your mind to.”
He felt his heart sink in his chest, though forced a smile onto his face as he moved inside the room to sit at the edge of her bed, and take a hand in his. She felt so frail, compared to the way she’d been before. Not that she had ever been a strong woman, but her hand felt now like he could break It if he applied too much pressure. Though they had health insurance, and the church had helped out too, he knew they were struggling with money. If he told her about the letter, and the acceptance, she would insist on him going.
“No, Mom, I haven’t heard anything back yet,” he replied quietly, eyes closing for a moment as dawning of what he had to do was realized, and he saw his dream slip from between his fingers. He forced another smile on his face as he opened his eyes to face the disappointed look he knew his mother would be giving him, and then squeezed her hand, although very gently. “I’m sure they’ll come, Mom. And if I don’t get in, well…I could always open up Dad’s shop again. I’m good at that, you know. Even without his help.”
“That’s just a hobby. You should have a proper job.”
He’d heard that bitter speech hundreds of times before, and had come to the point where he would just smile when she said it, giving her hand another gentle squeeze before getting up off of the bed again.
“Would you like something to eat, Mom? I think I’m going to make a sandwich.”
“Oh, oh no, dear. I think I’m just going to close my eyes for a few minutes, I feel tired.”
She gave him a small smile, and he nodded, leaving the room, and the door cracked open so he could hear her if there was anything. He didn’t go to the kitchen, though; instead moving back to his bedroom where the letter was still neatly sitting on the desk.
He picked it up, as well as the envelope and sighed; eyes closed tightly for a moment before he opened the drawer of his desk and dropped it all into it. He closed and locked the drawer too, pocketing the key before heading into the kitchen.
He knew that the decision was already made on what he had to do, but he didn’t want to accept that just yet. For now, he wanted to feel like a soon-to-be freshman at Stanford.
“Gabriel? Is that you?”
A soft groan passed his lips as he heard his mother’s voice, and he closed his eyes as he leaned back against the door. He was tempted to not answer her, not yet at least, but he knew that if he didn’t she would get up out of bed and come see what it was, and that wasn’t something he wanted in that moment. Instead he opened the door again to call back to her, just to make sure that he could have another moment alone.
“Yeah, Mom it’s me. I’ll be there in a second, okay?”
“Okay, sweetheart. I just wanted to make sure that it was you!”
He waited for a moment to make sure she wasn’t going to ask anything else of him in that moment, before he went to his desk to finally stare at what he held clutched in his hand.
He’d been waiting for this for months. He’d been waiting for this since before he applied, even. His reply from Stanford, where he’d applied with the plan to take one of the courses in the engineering field. Freshman didn’t have to declare a major, after all, so which course he was going to take he wasn’t quite sure of yet, though he’d narrowed it down to be between Aeronautics & Astronautics, and Mechanical Engineering.
His heart was still pounding as he stared at the envelope in front of him, though it wasn’t from running now. Panic was running through him, because though he’d pictured this moment thousands of times in his head, and prepared himself for the potential rejection, he still wasn’t sure whether he wanted to read it. He’d never been able to handle rejection well, so getting turned down from the school of his dreams was something he wanted to put off as long as possible.
Curiousity was as curiousity is, though, and it got the better of him; and with shaking hands he carefully opened the envelope. Another deep, shaky breath was taken before he slowly pulled out the paper, though closed his eyes, just to postpone it a few more moments. A gulp, before he opened his eyes slowly, just peeking at first; before they widened and threatened to pop out of his head.
Dear Gabriel.
Congratulations! It is with pleasure that I offer you admission to the Stanford University Class of 2001.
Congratulations!
The word was there, black on white, but he still couldn’t wrap his head around it. Being accepted wasn’t something that he’d prepared for.
“Gabriel?”
The call of his mother’s voice pulled him from his dazed state, and he dropped the letter onto the desk and got up to move out of his bedroom and to hers.
“What is it, Mom?”
He smiled at her, a soft smile as he peered in the room and to where she was in bed. She’d been bedridden for the past month after a heart attack.
“I was just wondering if you’d heard back from any of the schools that you’d applied to. I know you’re going to get into one. You’re going to be great, Gabriel. You’re my special boy, and you can do anything you put your mind to.”
He felt his heart sink in his chest, though forced a smile onto his face as he moved inside the room to sit at the edge of her bed, and take a hand in his. She felt so frail, compared to the way she’d been before. Not that she had ever been a strong woman, but her hand felt now like he could break It if he applied too much pressure. Though they had health insurance, and the church had helped out too, he knew they were struggling with money. If he told her about the letter, and the acceptance, she would insist on him going.
“No, Mom, I haven’t heard anything back yet,” he replied quietly, eyes closing for a moment as dawning of what he had to do was realized, and he saw his dream slip from between his fingers. He forced another smile on his face as he opened his eyes to face the disappointed look he knew his mother would be giving him, and then squeezed her hand, although very gently. “I’m sure they’ll come, Mom. And if I don’t get in, well…I could always open up Dad’s shop again. I’m good at that, you know. Even without his help.”
“That’s just a hobby. You should have a proper job.”
He’d heard that bitter speech hundreds of times before, and had come to the point where he would just smile when she said it, giving her hand another gentle squeeze before getting up off of the bed again.
“Would you like something to eat, Mom? I think I’m going to make a sandwich.”
“Oh, oh no, dear. I think I’m just going to close my eyes for a few minutes, I feel tired.”
She gave him a small smile, and he nodded, leaving the room, and the door cracked open so he could hear her if there was anything. He didn’t go to the kitchen, though; instead moving back to his bedroom where the letter was still neatly sitting on the desk.
He picked it up, as well as the envelope and sighed; eyes closed tightly for a moment before he opened the drawer of his desk and dropped it all into it. He closed and locked the drawer too, pocketing the key before heading into the kitchen.
He knew that the decision was already made on what he had to do, but he didn’t want to accept that just yet. For now, he wanted to feel like a soon-to-be freshman at Stanford.