(no subject)
Sick...and NOT lovin it.
Amusing forward of the day:
(props to jen)
CREATIVE WRITING EXERCISE
> Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From
> Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix:
> The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment
> with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each
> person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate
> right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
> of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send
> another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then
> add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending
> another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph,
> and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written
> each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be
> absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you
> wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both
> agree
> a conclusion has been reached."
> The following was actually turned in by two of his English
> students: Rebecca and Gary.
> THE STORY:
> (first paragraph by Rebecca)
> At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
> chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now
> reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
> liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind
> off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about
> him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out
> of the question.
> (second paragraph by Gary)
> Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
> squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think
> about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie
> with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.
> "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic
> communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..."
> But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of
> nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from
> the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
> (Rebecca)
> He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he
> felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman
> who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
> pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
> "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
> Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously
> excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her
> youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no
> newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of
> innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one
> lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
> (Gary)
> Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
> Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched
> the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy
> peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty
> through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the
> hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race.
> Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships
> were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
> entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their
> diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere
> unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine
> headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
> inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.
> (Rebecca)
> This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
> writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
> (Gary)
> Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic
> whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh,
> shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING
> TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads
> too many Danielle Steele novels!"
> (Rebecca)
> Asshole.
> (Gary)
> Bitch
> (Rebecca)
> F__K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!
> (Gary)
> Go drink some tea - whore.
> (TEACHER)
> A+ - I really liked this one
Amusing forward of the day:
(props to jen)
CREATIVE WRITING EXERCISE
> Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From
> Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix:
> The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment
> with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each
> person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate
> right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
> of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send
> another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then
> add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending
> another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph,
> and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written
> each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be
> absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you
> wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both
> agree
> a conclusion has been reached."
> The following was actually turned in by two of his English
> students: Rebecca and Gary.
> THE STORY:
> (first paragraph by Rebecca)
> At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
> chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now
> reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
> liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind
> off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about
> him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out
> of the question.
> (second paragraph by Gary)
> Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
> squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think
> about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie
> with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.
> "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic
> communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..."
> But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of
> nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from
> the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
> (Rebecca)
> He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he
> felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman
> who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
> pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
> "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
> Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously
> excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her
> youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no
> newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of
> innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one
> lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
> (Gary)
> Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
> Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched
> the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy
> peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty
> through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the
> hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race.
> Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships
> were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
> entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their
> diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere
> unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine
> headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
> inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.
> (Rebecca)
> This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
> writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
> (Gary)
> Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic
> whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh,
> shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING
> TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads
> too many Danielle Steele novels!"
> (Rebecca)
> Asshole.
> (Gary)
> Bitch
> (Rebecca)
> F__K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!
> (Gary)
> Go drink some tea - whore.
> (TEACHER)
> A+ - I really liked this one