and then things got worse...
well I did it this time.. fucked up royally.. Honestly I know sometimes I should just keep my big mouth shut about everything. Even things that were said out of anger I still shouldn't have said them. So here I am with two friends that hate me now and just wonderful timing as one friend and I were just starting to be ok again. Unfortunately for ALL of us the truth hurts much more than the lies. And if things said could be taken back I would take them back especially now when I don't feel the same way at all. And for the record people, this whole situation was handled very poorly from the very beginning. Instead of it dragging on and on someone should have just come right out and gotten things over with. Because then none of this would have ever happened. Maybe I should have butted my head in on this one. Even though I tried my damnedest to stay out of it. It's funny how life works. How people change, move from circle of friends to circle of friends, but still have to deal with the drama from each circle. I guess some things just haunt you because they meant so much to you at one time. I don't know. Bottom line is I fucked up big time once again and have nothing to say for myself other than I'm sorry to those I've hurt or backstabbed or dumped because I felt I was better than them. Everyone. Not just recent situations. Everyone. The sad part is it took a fall out like this for me to realize the error of my ways. That everyone has their faults because that's what people are like. Also that exploiting those faults is never the way to go. Just be honest people. I've tried to call it like I see it for a while now but it still never seems to go my way because I call it different ways for different people... maybe it's because I'm weak too.. because I want to make things go my way, but I don't have the balls to push hard enough to get anything to go my way. I know I'm rambling now and I really need to go to bed because I have to get up EARLY (7:45 early) for work tomorrow.