When I Got Home, Everything Seemed Different...
Last week I was a counselor at 4-H Camp Cherry Lake, helping out kids ages 8-13
I pity them all because they're going to have to make so many descisions like we've all had to make and they don't even know it.
Everyone I know has changed so much and I know that I have too, whether it's been a good or bad change is highly debatable.
I wanted to help them, protect them. I want to protect me from myself and what I've turned into.
I dont understand how this has all happened. One day I was a happy, preppy, straight-A, straight-laced kid and the next I was... I don't even know.
All I really want is to feel comfortable around people. Funny that that's one thing I've never been able to get quite right.
More than anyone else there is one guy that I want to accept me, but it always seems like he's only really nice to me when he's had something to drink. I hope you realize who you are.
Recently I've been working on branching out a bit, meeting new people, maybe finding someone to date or something. So far it's been... marginally successful at best.
Today my mom had been drinking and we got in a fight, then she started talking about mortality and I couldn't take it. As ridiculous as it is, I'm okay with the thought of my own death but thinking about some of the people I know dying scares the fuck out of me.
Lately it seems like there's a fine line between wishes and guilt; between rational and insane; between tradition and chaos and it's all spilling out of my control.
I pity them all because they're going to have to make so many descisions like we've all had to make and they don't even know it.
Everyone I know has changed so much and I know that I have too, whether it's been a good or bad change is highly debatable.
I wanted to help them, protect them. I want to protect me from myself and what I've turned into.
I dont understand how this has all happened. One day I was a happy, preppy, straight-A, straight-laced kid and the next I was... I don't even know.
All I really want is to feel comfortable around people. Funny that that's one thing I've never been able to get quite right.
More than anyone else there is one guy that I want to accept me, but it always seems like he's only really nice to me when he's had something to drink. I hope you realize who you are.
Recently I've been working on branching out a bit, meeting new people, maybe finding someone to date or something. So far it's been... marginally successful at best.
Today my mom had been drinking and we got in a fight, then she started talking about mortality and I couldn't take it. As ridiculous as it is, I'm okay with the thought of my own death but thinking about some of the people I know dying scares the fuck out of me.
Lately it seems like there's a fine line between wishes and guilt; between rational and insane; between tradition and chaos and it's all spilling out of my control.