Open Letters
An open letter to "non-conformists":
Dear disciple of being different,
You try to be different, and tell everyone you're different. Congratulations! You are different, but not by our efforts, the only thing that makes you "different" is your damn genes. In trying to be different you are just like all of the other "non-conformists" out there. Look at your friends, hell ask them, "Would you consider yourself a non-conformist?" Probably so. People with low self-esteem cluster. I have no problem with true non-conformists (note no quotation marks there) or people being different. At least you aren't cookie cutter fratties or sorority whores dutifully enlisted in the Abercrombie Army. You are making an effort to avoid being drafted. But the self proclaimed "non-conformist" title is just a bastard cousin of these khaki cults.
To be a "non-conformist" isn't hard or anything. All you have to do is make fun of what is popular, it doesn't matter if you like it, if other people do then it can not be "cool." What is popular is inherently not cool in the church of "I am so different." Make sure no one knows of your efforts to follow this strict doctrine though, but just incase they don't realize that you have a unique spirit, remind them at every opportunity (the more people around the better) that you are different. Trying too hard is uncool, but its even worse if anyone thinks you're a sell-out or thinks you're blending in. Attack basic social norms; marriage, college, having children, working, even drinking, or hanging out with friends. Because other people accept these then they must be questioned, question EVERYTHING. Question other people questioning things, start a vicious cycle. Whenever you find an appropriate thing to attack, more than one thing is a good idea because you don't want to be a one trick pony, tell anyone who disagrees with you that they are stupid. They must be to accept what has been done throughout human history. (Side note: Im not saying that questioning things makes you an ass bag, but doing it for the sake of doing it to further your "non-conformist" image does make you an ass bag of epic proportions). I hate (not really) to be the one to tell you Mr./Mrs. "non-conformist", trying to be different makes you just like every other person out there who are trying to be different. Trying to prove you're different doesnt make you different, sorry.
That's about it, I was just inspired by someone telling me a few stories of someone they knew and it got me thinking of all of the people who strive so hard to change an image and not themselves. If you don't like yourself do something about it rather than putting on a facade.
An open letter to students and all other pedestrians on campus:
Dear moving targets,
Look before you cross the street. The cars may stop to avoid an encounter with the local PD. I wont. I have probably said this before-- I know that I have. Side walk = you walk off to the side. Bike lane = a lane for bicycles. If you get in my way I will not risk my ass not to hit you and after I do hit you, Im going to make you feel like a dumbass for talking on your cell phone and stepping into the bike lane without looking.
An open letter to assistant managers, supervisors, and the like (non-professionals):
Dear turd-burglar,
You are an assistant manager. In most cases you dont need a high school diploma to have your job. You make an extra four bits an hour over your slaves. Dont be an ass to them, this makes you what I call a diaper manager. Always on your ass and full of shit. A title doesnt automatically warrant respect. Lord Acton has some words for you.
maybe the next entry will be more optimistic.
Dear disciple of being different,
You try to be different, and tell everyone you're different. Congratulations! You are different, but not by our efforts, the only thing that makes you "different" is your damn genes. In trying to be different you are just like all of the other "non-conformists" out there. Look at your friends, hell ask them, "Would you consider yourself a non-conformist?" Probably so. People with low self-esteem cluster. I have no problem with true non-conformists (note no quotation marks there) or people being different. At least you aren't cookie cutter fratties or sorority whores dutifully enlisted in the Abercrombie Army. You are making an effort to avoid being drafted. But the self proclaimed "non-conformist" title is just a bastard cousin of these khaki cults.
To be a "non-conformist" isn't hard or anything. All you have to do is make fun of what is popular, it doesn't matter if you like it, if other people do then it can not be "cool." What is popular is inherently not cool in the church of "I am so different." Make sure no one knows of your efforts to follow this strict doctrine though, but just incase they don't realize that you have a unique spirit, remind them at every opportunity (the more people around the better) that you are different. Trying too hard is uncool, but its even worse if anyone thinks you're a sell-out or thinks you're blending in. Attack basic social norms; marriage, college, having children, working, even drinking, or hanging out with friends. Because other people accept these then they must be questioned, question EVERYTHING. Question other people questioning things, start a vicious cycle. Whenever you find an appropriate thing to attack, more than one thing is a good idea because you don't want to be a one trick pony, tell anyone who disagrees with you that they are stupid. They must be to accept what has been done throughout human history. (Side note: Im not saying that questioning things makes you an ass bag, but doing it for the sake of doing it to further your "non-conformist" image does make you an ass bag of epic proportions). I hate (not really) to be the one to tell you Mr./Mrs. "non-conformist", trying to be different makes you just like every other person out there who are trying to be different. Trying to prove you're different doesnt make you different, sorry.
That's about it, I was just inspired by someone telling me a few stories of someone they knew and it got me thinking of all of the people who strive so hard to change an image and not themselves. If you don't like yourself do something about it rather than putting on a facade.
An open letter to students and all other pedestrians on campus:
Dear moving targets,
Look before you cross the street. The cars may stop to avoid an encounter with the local PD. I wont. I have probably said this before-- I know that I have. Side walk = you walk off to the side. Bike lane = a lane for bicycles. If you get in my way I will not risk my ass not to hit you and after I do hit you, Im going to make you feel like a dumbass for talking on your cell phone and stepping into the bike lane without looking.
An open letter to assistant managers, supervisors, and the like (non-professionals):
Dear turd-burglar,
You are an assistant manager. In most cases you dont need a high school diploma to have your job. You make an extra four bits an hour over your slaves. Dont be an ass to them, this makes you what I call a diaper manager. Always on your ass and full of shit. A title doesnt automatically warrant respect. Lord Acton has some words for you.
maybe the next entry will be more optimistic.