Fuck This!
I'm extremely tired and yet I can't sleep. What's wrong with me? Stress from a new job? Maybe, although I used to work really well under pressure. So what am I doing all so differently? Then while twisting and turning in my bed it hit me - unlimited fountain drinks at work. Fuck, no shit I'm all jittery. And not just that, I was feeling a lot better over all when I was living in Montreal; even though things didn't work out the way I planned and it was very disappointing, I wasn't so passive about my environment and saturated with anxiety as I am today. Also, WTF's up with me? I used to weigh around 170lbs most of my life, when did I suddenly start weighing 190lbs? What's clear to me tonight is that my life's been frozen for the last 5 years and I'm sick of it. Everything comes in repetitive cycles. It's time that I act wilfully and stop reacting passively from outside factors. First, I'll do myself a great favour and cut off all this stimulant "sugar" crap! Fuck all this meat (I felt so much better when I barely ate any) and a special fuck to dairy! Tomorrow I'm taking a bike and peddle my way back home instead of sitting my ass in for a 2 hour + bus ride... getting home that way probably won't take much longer then that anyway... I'll see how my ass feels tomorrow after a 25 km bike right though - I bet probably better then it how does now.