A Letter to the one only true action star.
Dear Jean-Claude Van Damme,
I feel like something is missing in my heart... as darkness overtakes every time I close my eyes to leave me surrounded by my only 2 friends: Pain and Suffering. I realise that the world is getting only darker by daylight. For something is disturbing the balance of the space-time continuum with sadness. You see, my soul is like a desert with a lot of chocolate, only I can't eat it, because it's all melted from the heat of my sorrow. I need the cold breath of your theatrical embrace to harden my metaphorical chocolate. Could you please make another movie with Rob Schneider and call it "Universal Time Death Gigolo"?
Your devoted fan,
Yann
PS: I loved you in that movie where you did the split and punched that dumb dumb guy in the balls AT THE SAME TIME! What a gaylord!
I feel like something is missing in my heart... as darkness overtakes every time I close my eyes to leave me surrounded by my only 2 friends: Pain and Suffering. I realise that the world is getting only darker by daylight. For something is disturbing the balance of the space-time continuum with sadness. You see, my soul is like a desert with a lot of chocolate, only I can't eat it, because it's all melted from the heat of my sorrow. I need the cold breath of your theatrical embrace to harden my metaphorical chocolate. Could you please make another movie with Rob Schneider and call it "Universal Time Death Gigolo"?
Your devoted fan,
Yann
PS: I loved you in that movie where you did the split and punched that dumb dumb guy in the balls AT THE SAME TIME! What a gaylord!