i dont know why im talking about ..
it's already november. and im starting to get those anxious feelings i always get around this time.. whihc, for some reason, i feel like it's going to be pretty bad this year considering.
so im going to start reflecting now, starting with day one of 2009 heh
my new year's last year was spent with chris at home. he drank the night away, and i sat in front of the TV, sick. i regret not giving him more attention **shrugs* oh well. but the next day, we got into a big argument having to do with placement of furniture in the den. i had received a sewing machine for christmas and wanted to set up a place to put it. chris felt squished as it was, and although i thought i could make things work, it ended in yelling and a little bit of hair pulling and him telling me to get out of his house. so, i did. that next wkend..and moved in with the parents. for some strange reason, we decided it was okay to stay together -- maybe that was me, i wasnt ready. he was my best friend at that time. but all my things went into storage and i slept on the bed upstairs with a few essentials. not even a wk after that, my dad was omitted into mercy ff hospital and had open heart.. 4 something or another bypass and maze procedure, which left him in the hospital for at least a wk. he was also depressed because following that, he was unable to lift anything over 5 lbs, and my mom just had had both her knees replaced that oct before... they were both hurtin' puppies heh. so it was almost a blessing to have me around and home all the time.. and i was happy to be around anyway. chris and i were off and on for a bit, i tried by Best not to talk to him when things were really bad with dad. his mother actually helped a bit in giving me advice and such.. in march my knee was really hurting me and i knew something had to be done, finally. so i had my acl replaced april 6th and was out of work for a month. while i was gone, work lost a few bodies..one to another surprise surgery and the other was terminated --rather "not with us anymore". they found a tempt and a new body to take the spots, of course.. but things werent the same (i thought) to say the least. after that, it's a blur... a few inspirational conventions <3 hell city and MW horror convention.
i decided to stay home with my parents to save money - but found staying home didnt allow me to save anything, and i fell back into old habits ..with my mother as well.she started treating me like a child. i started going out with aryn ..we'd dress up and create outfits and challenges for ourselves. chris slowly faded more and more out of the picture? slowly.. im still not totally over him, but im growing enough now to think of someone new >_< summer has come and left already... plenty of photos to show for it (carley was bought).. pirate day at ren fair, plenty of nights out, whatever. .. first trip to cali <3 long beach was beautiful, well, it was allll beautiful.L.A. is filled with people (surprised?) but the buildings are big tall and black......not very inviting.heh and i wasnt impressed with much there :P though, ramsey and i did find the HOLLYWOOD sign and got as close as we could to it..and my first sunsets over the pacific ocean were amazing. ramsey was more than a little a GREAT host, my only regrets are not going out as much as i would have liked, and not meeting mark. :( oh, and i LOVED being twink for halloweeen !!! yeah !:D
now, there's this DJ character that SEEMS to be interested in me
there's new career potentials
there's new home location potentials
i dont know why i feel so crazy.