the strongest revival

[frogsicles]

[Cirno wakes up the next morning alive, of course. And the first thing she does is run for the bathroom and vomit. She can still feel the poison creeping through her body, feel her organs slowly shutting down...she knew at the time she'd simply be brought back, but that did nothing to numb the pain, nothing to comfort her

Comments

[glowbrighter]

[Wriggle never left Cirno's body - she couldn't just leave her all alone like that, and what if she only needed to melt a little bit more? - and so fell asleep in the park. When she woke up and came back to her senses enough to realize that Cirno's body was gone, she had hoped for the best....but assumed the worst anyway. Nothing like seeing your best friend dead to shatter faith in even the most assured things.

There's also nothing like that particular grisly sight to make you shove a stupid feud to the back of your mind and knock on that best friend's door- loudly, desperately.]

[frogsicles]

[At first, Cirno tries to ignore the knocking, but when it doesn't stop she finally gets out of her bed and opens the door. When she sees it's Wriggle, she freezes for a second.]

...What do you want.

[She speaks in a dull voice, because she's tired of fighting, tired of trying, tired of everything. She mentally braces herself for yet another disappointment, another proverbial punch to the gut, another person to tell her she's failed.]

[glowbrighter]

[Her knees almost give out from under her and Wriggle has to brace her hand against the house to keep herself grounded in reality and swallow back the urge to be violently sick: there is such a striking difference between this Cirno, quiet as she might be, and the one who would never wake up.]

You're back....

[The words are small and scared and their fearful doubt shows in Wriggle's eyes when she stares at Cirno....but then it fades, like smoke on the wind, and a trembling kind of hope takes its place.]

...you're back!

[And then, suddenly, Wriggle throws her arms around Cirno's shoulders, needing to make sure, to make extra double triple sure that Mayfield came through.]

You're back, you're back, you're really back!

[frogsicles]

[Cirno is knocked back by the force of Wriggle's embrace, and she half-stumbles in an attempt to keep her balance. Her arms move, automatically, into a weak imitation of a hug, lacking all of the warmth that she usually had.]

...Yeah.

[It's an awful reply, perhaps the worst one available. A neutral, flat confirmation of the statement Wriggle has been so joyously repeating. But it's all that Cirno feels like giving. After all, once the euphoria wears off, she's just going to run back to Yuuka and leave her alone again, isn't she?]

[glowbrighter]

[Wriggle notices the absence of Cirno's usual enthusiasm, but chalks it up to a completely different reason; Cirno's still shellshocked from dying. After all, that's what it was like for her. So all Wriggle does is give a kind, understanding smile that Cirno can't even see, and simply hug the fairy tighter. Is this her? It has to be, it better be- the dead don't breathe, don't feel warm, and neither do dreams.]

I didn't....for awhile I was scared that you wouldn't come back.

[frogsicles]

Uh-huh.

[Another completely neutral reply. As Wriggle holds her tighter, her own grip loosens until she's barely touching the firefly at all. She stares carefully at the door, still wide open, not daring to allow herself to enjoy this moment at all. No matter how badly she wants to.]

[glowbrighter]

Y....you wouldn't wake up n...no matter what I did...

[She starts to tremble, tries to hold back her tears, fails, and takes a great sucking breath before pulling back just enough to meet Cirno's eyes.....even though Cirno is staring beyond her.]

W....What happened to you?!

[frogsicles]

You wouldn't believe me even if I told you.

[Her neutral speech takes on an icy undertone. Wriggle didn't believe her before, so there's no reason she'd believe her now.]

Why don't you just go back to Yuuka's place. I bet she misses you. She probably doesn't want you hanging around a monster like me.

[The emphasis is subtle, but just strong enough to be noticed. She glances at Wriggle for a split second as she says the word, to make sure she understands completely.]

[glowbrighter]

I don't care about her right now! I care about you! An' I'm not gonna leave you, so just- quit tryin' to get rid of me an' tell me what happened!

[Those words come to her quickly and with surprising ease because they are true. Right now her mentor is the furthest thing from her mind, lost amid the swarm of thoughts that concern themselves only with Cirno's well-being. And that hurtful emphasis makes her face twist like a rag, makes her sniffle unhappily, but she doesn't try to wipe away her tears.]

You're not a monster. You were never a monster- I was just mad at you and said something stupid and I'm sorry, okay? I'm really, really sorry! Even...even though you hate me, I'm still sorry...

["I never thought you would die. Was it my ugly words that made you die?" Wriggle thinks but does not, will never say. She puts a hand to Cirno's cheek, marveling at the warmth, the life she can feel pulsing under her fingertips.]

Did...did someone do that to you? Kuh-kill you?

[frogsicles]

[Cirno doesn't answer, not yet. Instead, she continues to spout angry words, ugly and spiteful feelings she's worked so hard to bury.]

If...if you didn't want me to protect you, you coulda told me, y'know! H-How was I s'posed to know I was doin' something wrong, Wriggle? HOW?! But I guess EVERYBODY knew I was wrong, and NOBODY TOLD ME, and now YOU hate me and MAO HATES ME and I'm sick of it! NOBODY WILL TELL ME WHAT I'M DOING WRONG! I can't...I don't...w-why do you...I didn't know, I didn't know, so why...

[She lurches backward in an attempt to isolate herself.]

[glowbrighter]

[Wriggle doesn't quite understand what Cirno's going through and she doesn't know about the problems with Mao, but she recognizes that gesture for what it is and she doesn't want- she refuses to let Cirno do that. So she grabs for the fairy and pulls her close, holds her tight, and no matter how much Cirno might kick and scream she'll do her best to not let go.]

I DON'T HATE YOU! I don't know what's wrong with Mao but- I don't hate you! I've NEVER hated you! Not even when you said all those things that made me so mad! I really tried, too, but it was hard- it was too hard to hate you! I can't hate you!

[Clinging, clutching with all her strength and trying to think, trying to conjure up the words that must be said.]

When you kept looking out for me- I liked it, okay! I really did! It made me feel like- like I was worth somethin', that somebody would care that much. No one ever cared that much before 'bout some stupid bug that kept gettin' teased.

[She pauses, then, because this is a time of ugly honesty and she'll match Cirno secret

[frogsicles]

[Cirno thrashes frantically. She doesn't want to hear this, not after all she did, that just means everything she's done is pointless...]

SHUT UP, WRIGGLE! Just shut up! You picked her over me! YOU PICKED THAT MONSTER OVER ME, YOU PICKED YUUKA OVER ME, AND WHAT HAPPENED BECAUSE OF THAT?! SHE KILLED ME! THIS IS YOUR FAULT, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, IF YOU HADN'T LIED TO ME AND GONE RUNNING OFF TO YUUKA THIS WOULDN'TA HAPPENED!

[She knows it's not really Wriggle's fault. She knows the blame lies with her. But that's too difficult for her to admit, so she pushes all of the blame onto the closest target, inadvertently letting the identity of her murderer slip.

Once she realizes it, she falls completely silent. A voice in the back of her head says, Now you've done it. Now she really WILL hate you. She stifles her sobs and stops moving, save the violent trembling left over from her outburst.]

[glowbrighter]

[Wriggle opens her mouth to say something, anything; to curse, to scream, to call Cirno a liar, to threaten her, to make her take it back, to deny and deny and deny and deny.

.....but then the memory of Cirno lying dead and cold cuts clean through the flood of hot and hateful thoughts thrashing around in her mind and she can't. She just can't. For one of the first times in her life, Wriggle can't do that last thing at all. So Wriggle is also silent.

But she doesn't let Cirno go.]

[frogsicles]

I didn't want you to go. I shoulda been the only person you needed. I-If you wanted to be strong, you coulda come to me...! I-I'm the strongest, remember? D-Don't you trust me? W-Why would you go to s-someone like her instead of your b-best friend?

I don't get it.

[glowbrighter]

[Wriggle both hears and doesn't hear this. After some endless, unknown time, she only chooses to pull back just enough to, once again, stare into Cirno's face and search it with flat, blazing eyes. There is no hatred or anger in them, only authority. And if Cirno won't look at her, then Wriggle will grab her by the chin and force her to.]

First, you need to tell me somethin'.

[frogsicles]

[She still tries her best to avert her eyes - whether out of shame or fear she doesn't know.]

W...What?