Complex: Too Quiet, part 2
Today's bookkeeper forgot to bring me my till, so I went and got it after someone handed me cash (by far most transactions are with a card: credit, debit, or gift). He told me to donate the penny when I got it. But it turns out the bookkeeper forgot to give me any pennies. I realized this when the next customer handed me cash, but instead of shrugging off the fact I couldn't give her the penny right away, she started tearing up. I said I could go get her the penny. She said that would be best. I walked half way across the store to the bookkeeper's office, got the roll of pennies, walked back, opened the roll and gave her one.
I've never had anyone threaten to cry over a penny before.
Title: Too Quiet, part 2
Side story to: Complex
Length: 1887 words
Summary: Salathiel gets what they want and find it was exactly the wrong thing.
Master list: lj DW
Cunobelinus, of course, thought the bites were a great idea. They washed their hands before they presented them, which showed greater manners than Salathiel had, and licked the little paws. Salathiel was still uneasy.
“Could I… Could you please.” Salathiel swallowed hard. “Would you switch to your human form and let me do the cutting?”
Cunobelinus frowned. “Jonáš wants to know why.”
Salathiel swallowed again. “I’ve seen Aleš,” for a few seconds, “but not Jonáš.” If Salathiel was going to fall in love with him, they should know what he looked like. “And if I make the cut, I can heal it completely.”
Jonáš shifted and as he was already in Salathiel lap, Salathiel really didn’t know where to look. Jonáš was beautiful, of course, all pale skin and dark hair with the hint of a happy trail Salathiel refused to follow. He was still acting like a cat, rubbing himself on Salathiel. That tunic was really coming in handy.
Salathiel took Jonáš’s hand and shifted just their mouth. He carefully cut the pad of Jonáš’s index finger, then shifted their mouth back and sucked. The blood was warm. Warmer than it should have been. Salathiel felt the few drops fill his mouth, flow down his throat, and settle in his belly.
Magic.
Jonáš wrapped his arms around Salathiel’s neck and kissed him as if his life depended on it. He leaned back with a sigh. “So good.”
He shifted back to cat. You are ours now. Aleš.
And Aleš filled Salathiel lap. He had even less body hair than Jonáš. His eyes were a paler blue. He didn’t move about as much, but he opened himself up much more. Salathiel took his hand clinically and carefully took his blood. This felt just like Jonáš’s had.
It was all too much.
They took the kiss and carefully placed Aleš back on the floor. Cunobelinus put on a fake frown. “What about my kiss?”
The two familiars piled on Cunobelinus. Salathiel made their escape. Their eyes were too full of tears to see straight. Second eyelids helped, but not much. The bedroom wasn’t good enough. Salathiel locked the bathroom door and started the shower. They pull off their clothes and scrubbed hard, but the dirty feeling wouldn’t go away.
Sobs roared from them. They tried to keep them quieter than the pounding water, but they weren’t sure they succeeded. Jonáš and Aleš had just escaped from a terrible abuser. Salathiel knew what being having a baby forced on one meant. Jonáš’s kiss was friendly, but Aleš… Aleš was so used to being hurt, the only life he’d ever known… He opened up for Salathiel because he expected that’s what Salathiel wanted and he was right.
Salathiel was no better than their “master” no better than the one who’d hurt them so badly for so long. Salathiel wiped the tears away and stuck their head under the shower. They’d never be clean again.
~~~~~
Salathiel left the bathroom when they were calm enough to fake it. They had to be careful because Jonáš and Aleš could hear them now, hear their thoughts.
Cunobelinus lay on the bed, their eyes closed. They were too still to truly be asleep, but they knew Salathiel enough to pretend. Two soft whispers ticked in their mind. They shut them out as best they could as they climbed into bed.
They were wearing their ‘angry pjs’ as Cunobelinus called them. The heavy fabric was the opposite of sexy. Salathiel wore it when they didn’t want to be touched. The unhappy side effect of all that cloth was that Salathiel got hot and slept badly, making them even more upset come morning, but the pjs were the only armor Salathiel had.
They cuddled with a pillow against their stomach. Here in the dark, all the bad thoughts returned. Why had they been so cruel to Hezekiel that night, saying that they always hated to cook? Salathiel had loved to cook for their little one, loved to know that with each bite their child grew stronger and bigger. Only the best for Hezekiel.
It was only later, when no help came from Cunobelinus, when they knew no help would ever come… the love had turned to resentment. Cunobelinus was handsome, they were brilliant, a leader in their field, but the dedication to spellwork above all else meant Salathiel would always come second and once Hezekiel was born Salathiel became third or even lower.
They had left their home and family, left familiar surroundings and people who looked like them, to live among people who stopped and stared, who turned away rather than speak to them, who thought their little boy was less than perfect.
The tears returned. Cunobelinus’s hand came close, but didn’t quite touch them. Salathiel turned away. Sympathy wouldn’t help them now.
Small feet walked up Salathiel shoulder. They rolled onto their front, but the small bodies just settled onto their back and started purring.
Jonáš and Aleš were warm and purring took the tension from them. Cunobelinus’s fingers ran down their neck and back up in a lovely rhythm. Salathiel let it take them to sleep.
~~~~~~~
The tears were gone by morning. Salathiel could do this. They could do anything they put their mind to. Friendly, that was the goal.
Salathiel got up before the others and made breakfast. He put Jonáš and Aleš’s on the floor because he couldn’t handle them in their man forms.
Steele and Dal were already up, kittens being kittens. Steele chatted away in his usual way, ate his breakfast, kissed his husband, and left for work. Salathiel and Cunobelinus were paying for his transit pass to the university from the demon realms. The least they could do since they insisted that the kittens stay until their eyes opened.
And since Dal’s fathers were here, neither Dal nor Steele protested.
Dal came in next, ate his breakfast and then moved his kittens from the Hezekiel’s room into the living room. Dal might not be willing to sleep with his Mate, but he was willing to sleep in his bed. Penelope had laughed at that and asked him who he thought would hold out longer: Dal not having sex with Hez or Steele refusing to father a child with her.
Salathiel’s money was on Dal giving in first. If they had money on anything. They’d seen the way Dal and Hezekiel looked at each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking. And they’d seen the way Steel looked at Penelope.
Cunobelinus was sure a spell would be available by the time Penelope graduated that would allow a child without Steele having to lay with her. They were probably working on it right now. But Hezekiel would get his wish for Dal to be a real Mate again before that even if they only ever touched each other when Steel was with them.
If only Salathiel was so lucky, having a lover who helped them love Cunobelinus as much as they deserved.
Jonáš came into the kitchen. Salathiel turned to do the dishes. Cunobelinus breezed in and kissed Salathiel’s cheek. “I’m so close. I’m sure it’s going to be today. I’ll come home early to celebrate.”
Salathiel wished them luck and made sure they had something to eat, but their hopes weren’t up. So close could mean two hours, two days, or even two months of hard work. Cunobelinus would probably come home late tonight if at all.
Salathiel had a job as well, but they weren’t going in with guests in the house. Besides it could be done at home. Only Salathiel hadn’t even touched it since the chaos of the kittens. Today was a good day to at least look it over.
Salathiel turned from the sink. Jonáš and Aleš were staring at them. Salathiel ignore it. “I’ve got some work to do today. If you need me, I’ll be in the guest room.”
But Salathiel couldn’t concentrate. An hour went by and another. Salathiel was staring a blank sheet of paper.
Do you hate us? Jonáš was on the bed.
“No.” Salathiel turned firmly around.
Do you hate just me? Aleš voice was higher, softer. I can go. Only let Jonáš stay-
No!
“I don’t hate either one of you.”
Then why won’t you look at us.
Salathiel covered their face. “I don’t like myself right now. I’ll get better. Just give me time.”
But we are the reason.
I am the reason. Aleš brushed against Salathiel’s leg. You were fine and then you weren’t.
“I was trying to be fine.”
But you looked at me and… His voice was so soft and sad.
“Not your fault. I can control myself.”
Tiny Aleš set his paws against Salathiel calf. How can it not be me?
Salathiel’s hand was petting him before Salathiel could even think about it. It was all right as long as they looked like cats.
What is all right? Jonáš plopped onto the floor beside Aleš.
Salathiel took a deep breath. “I wish Cunobelinus was here.”
They said it was their fault you were unhappy. They said maybe if they left we could make you happy.
Stupid Cunobelinus. “I’ll never be happy without Cunobelinus.” Only half the truth. “I just can’t seem to be happy with them either.”
So they did something? When they asked us to kiss them too?
That had been beautiful, two pretty little things on his husband’s lap.
“No. It’s just me.”
Jonáš jumped onto the desk. Just you how?
“I don’t know what you want from me.” Salathiel brought his face down to Jonáš’s. “A home? You have that as long as you wish. This can be your room. I can make an office for myself in the living room. Safety? You have that here. The one who imprisoned you has been imprisoned himself and I doubt he will live to see freedom. Food? I can cook.”
We cook too. Aleš leapt into their lap. Jonáš makes good food.
“We’ll have to get you clothes first.” They had some, but the only clothes they could find in Jonáš and Aleš sizes were made for children and weren’t meant for adult shaped people. And the familiars hadn’t been in man form long enough to measure them.
Not that Salathiel would trust themself with a measuring tape. Maybe make them measure each other.
You don’t like the way we look. Aleš voice was sad again.
Salathiel laughed. “You must not be listening to me very well. I think you both are beautiful.”
Then why…?
“I don’t want to be offered sex in exchange for doing something I would do anyway. In exchange for doing anything.”
The familiars looked at each other and back at Salathiel.
“I can’t, in my own mind, be like the one who held you for so long, who expected sexual favors, who used you. I just can’t. I should never have asked you to switch to your human forms, then none of this would have happened until I was in love with you.”
Are you in love with us? Jonáš rubbed Salathiel’s cheek with his own.
Salathiel leaned back and searched his heart. “Not yet, but I can feel the tug.”
Then we will talk about this later.
That was as much as Salathiel could hope for.
I've never had anyone threaten to cry over a penny before.
Title: Too Quiet, part 2
Side story to: Complex
Length: 1887 words
Summary: Salathiel gets what they want and find it was exactly the wrong thing.
Master list: lj DW
Cunobelinus, of course, thought the bites were a great idea. They washed their hands before they presented them, which showed greater manners than Salathiel had, and licked the little paws. Salathiel was still uneasy.
“Could I… Could you please.” Salathiel swallowed hard. “Would you switch to your human form and let me do the cutting?”
Cunobelinus frowned. “Jonáš wants to know why.”
Salathiel swallowed again. “I’ve seen Aleš,” for a few seconds, “but not Jonáš.” If Salathiel was going to fall in love with him, they should know what he looked like. “And if I make the cut, I can heal it completely.”
Jonáš shifted and as he was already in Salathiel lap, Salathiel really didn’t know where to look. Jonáš was beautiful, of course, all pale skin and dark hair with the hint of a happy trail Salathiel refused to follow. He was still acting like a cat, rubbing himself on Salathiel. That tunic was really coming in handy.
Salathiel took Jonáš’s hand and shifted just their mouth. He carefully cut the pad of Jonáš’s index finger, then shifted their mouth back and sucked. The blood was warm. Warmer than it should have been. Salathiel felt the few drops fill his mouth, flow down his throat, and settle in his belly.
Magic.
Jonáš wrapped his arms around Salathiel’s neck and kissed him as if his life depended on it. He leaned back with a sigh. “So good.”
He shifted back to cat. You are ours now. Aleš.
And Aleš filled Salathiel lap. He had even less body hair than Jonáš. His eyes were a paler blue. He didn’t move about as much, but he opened himself up much more. Salathiel took his hand clinically and carefully took his blood. This felt just like Jonáš’s had.
It was all too much.
They took the kiss and carefully placed Aleš back on the floor. Cunobelinus put on a fake frown. “What about my kiss?”
The two familiars piled on Cunobelinus. Salathiel made their escape. Their eyes were too full of tears to see straight. Second eyelids helped, but not much. The bedroom wasn’t good enough. Salathiel locked the bathroom door and started the shower. They pull off their clothes and scrubbed hard, but the dirty feeling wouldn’t go away.
Sobs roared from them. They tried to keep them quieter than the pounding water, but they weren’t sure they succeeded. Jonáš and Aleš had just escaped from a terrible abuser. Salathiel knew what being having a baby forced on one meant. Jonáš’s kiss was friendly, but Aleš… Aleš was so used to being hurt, the only life he’d ever known… He opened up for Salathiel because he expected that’s what Salathiel wanted and he was right.
Salathiel was no better than their “master” no better than the one who’d hurt them so badly for so long. Salathiel wiped the tears away and stuck their head under the shower. They’d never be clean again.
~~~~~
Salathiel left the bathroom when they were calm enough to fake it. They had to be careful because Jonáš and Aleš could hear them now, hear their thoughts.
Cunobelinus lay on the bed, their eyes closed. They were too still to truly be asleep, but they knew Salathiel enough to pretend. Two soft whispers ticked in their mind. They shut them out as best they could as they climbed into bed.
They were wearing their ‘angry pjs’ as Cunobelinus called them. The heavy fabric was the opposite of sexy. Salathiel wore it when they didn’t want to be touched. The unhappy side effect of all that cloth was that Salathiel got hot and slept badly, making them even more upset come morning, but the pjs were the only armor Salathiel had.
They cuddled with a pillow against their stomach. Here in the dark, all the bad thoughts returned. Why had they been so cruel to Hezekiel that night, saying that they always hated to cook? Salathiel had loved to cook for their little one, loved to know that with each bite their child grew stronger and bigger. Only the best for Hezekiel.
It was only later, when no help came from Cunobelinus, when they knew no help would ever come… the love had turned to resentment. Cunobelinus was handsome, they were brilliant, a leader in their field, but the dedication to spellwork above all else meant Salathiel would always come second and once Hezekiel was born Salathiel became third or even lower.
They had left their home and family, left familiar surroundings and people who looked like them, to live among people who stopped and stared, who turned away rather than speak to them, who thought their little boy was less than perfect.
The tears returned. Cunobelinus’s hand came close, but didn’t quite touch them. Salathiel turned away. Sympathy wouldn’t help them now.
Small feet walked up Salathiel shoulder. They rolled onto their front, but the small bodies just settled onto their back and started purring.
Jonáš and Aleš were warm and purring took the tension from them. Cunobelinus’s fingers ran down their neck and back up in a lovely rhythm. Salathiel let it take them to sleep.
~~~~~~~
The tears were gone by morning. Salathiel could do this. They could do anything they put their mind to. Friendly, that was the goal.
Salathiel got up before the others and made breakfast. He put Jonáš and Aleš’s on the floor because he couldn’t handle them in their man forms.
Steele and Dal were already up, kittens being kittens. Steele chatted away in his usual way, ate his breakfast, kissed his husband, and left for work. Salathiel and Cunobelinus were paying for his transit pass to the university from the demon realms. The least they could do since they insisted that the kittens stay until their eyes opened.
And since Dal’s fathers were here, neither Dal nor Steele protested.
Dal came in next, ate his breakfast and then moved his kittens from the Hezekiel’s room into the living room. Dal might not be willing to sleep with his Mate, but he was willing to sleep in his bed. Penelope had laughed at that and asked him who he thought would hold out longer: Dal not having sex with Hez or Steele refusing to father a child with her.
Salathiel’s money was on Dal giving in first. If they had money on anything. They’d seen the way Dal and Hezekiel looked at each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking. And they’d seen the way Steel looked at Penelope.
Cunobelinus was sure a spell would be available by the time Penelope graduated that would allow a child without Steele having to lay with her. They were probably working on it right now. But Hezekiel would get his wish for Dal to be a real Mate again before that even if they only ever touched each other when Steel was with them.
If only Salathiel was so lucky, having a lover who helped them love Cunobelinus as much as they deserved.
Jonáš came into the kitchen. Salathiel turned to do the dishes. Cunobelinus breezed in and kissed Salathiel’s cheek. “I’m so close. I’m sure it’s going to be today. I’ll come home early to celebrate.”
Salathiel wished them luck and made sure they had something to eat, but their hopes weren’t up. So close could mean two hours, two days, or even two months of hard work. Cunobelinus would probably come home late tonight if at all.
Salathiel had a job as well, but they weren’t going in with guests in the house. Besides it could be done at home. Only Salathiel hadn’t even touched it since the chaos of the kittens. Today was a good day to at least look it over.
Salathiel turned from the sink. Jonáš and Aleš were staring at them. Salathiel ignore it. “I’ve got some work to do today. If you need me, I’ll be in the guest room.”
But Salathiel couldn’t concentrate. An hour went by and another. Salathiel was staring a blank sheet of paper.
Do you hate us? Jonáš was on the bed.
“No.” Salathiel turned firmly around.
Do you hate just me? Aleš voice was higher, softer. I can go. Only let Jonáš stay-
No!
“I don’t hate either one of you.”
Then why won’t you look at us.
Salathiel covered their face. “I don’t like myself right now. I’ll get better. Just give me time.”
But we are the reason.
I am the reason. Aleš brushed against Salathiel’s leg. You were fine and then you weren’t.
“I was trying to be fine.”
But you looked at me and… His voice was so soft and sad.
“Not your fault. I can control myself.”
Tiny Aleš set his paws against Salathiel calf. How can it not be me?
Salathiel’s hand was petting him before Salathiel could even think about it. It was all right as long as they looked like cats.
What is all right? Jonáš plopped onto the floor beside Aleš.
Salathiel took a deep breath. “I wish Cunobelinus was here.”
They said it was their fault you were unhappy. They said maybe if they left we could make you happy.
Stupid Cunobelinus. “I’ll never be happy without Cunobelinus.” Only half the truth. “I just can’t seem to be happy with them either.”
So they did something? When they asked us to kiss them too?
That had been beautiful, two pretty little things on his husband’s lap.
“No. It’s just me.”
Jonáš jumped onto the desk. Just you how?
“I don’t know what you want from me.” Salathiel brought his face down to Jonáš’s. “A home? You have that as long as you wish. This can be your room. I can make an office for myself in the living room. Safety? You have that here. The one who imprisoned you has been imprisoned himself and I doubt he will live to see freedom. Food? I can cook.”
We cook too. Aleš leapt into their lap. Jonáš makes good food.
“We’ll have to get you clothes first.” They had some, but the only clothes they could find in Jonáš and Aleš sizes were made for children and weren’t meant for adult shaped people. And the familiars hadn’t been in man form long enough to measure them.
Not that Salathiel would trust themself with a measuring tape. Maybe make them measure each other.
You don’t like the way we look. Aleš voice was sad again.
Salathiel laughed. “You must not be listening to me very well. I think you both are beautiful.”
Then why…?
“I don’t want to be offered sex in exchange for doing something I would do anyway. In exchange for doing anything.”
The familiars looked at each other and back at Salathiel.
“I can’t, in my own mind, be like the one who held you for so long, who expected sexual favors, who used you. I just can’t. I should never have asked you to switch to your human forms, then none of this would have happened until I was in love with you.”
Are you in love with us? Jonáš rubbed Salathiel’s cheek with his own.
Salathiel leaned back and searched his heart. “Not yet, but I can feel the tug.”
Then we will talk about this later.
That was as much as Salathiel could hope for.