Only in the Martellini household!!
I love my family. Especially when they prove they are just as insane as I am sometimes.
So far this hristmas things hve been busy. Mom works, Joe has his girlfriend and wooden reindeer money making scheme, dad has his practice and country band, and mom mom has a list of dates longer than my forearm she has planed for the season, so neatly put on the fridge (It's disturbing when your 84 year old grandmother get's more action than you do).
I have been keeping myself busy with houshold tasks, and Christmas shopping (my mother calls me ahouse elf now), but a rather uneventful holiday thus far.
However, today my father came home from work (for thoe who don't know, he is a veterinarian)and asks, "did you send Russell's Christmas package yet?" Now Russell is my adopted uncle, or an old friend of the family. My father and he have continually sent each other gag gifts for various holidays over many years, each grosser than the last.
I answered my father with a yes, but did not faze him in the slightest. Apparantly my father got the brilliant idea of saving the two cat testicles from his routine neuter today. He then planned to send them to Russell as a gift. First, however, my father and I had to prepare the fresh tissue, so it woul not spoil during the trip. "Do you have any clear nail polish?" my father asked.
"No, I left it at work" my mother said, as if the fact there were now two cat testicles, each hanging on their own paper clip, in a dixie cup on the counter were no different than a pair of marbles.
When I inquired to her calm demeanor, she responded, "oh this isn't the first pair he's brought home before".
So, there I was, holding a paper clip with a dangling cat testicle over our kitchen counter, as my father painted it with my favorite chrome nail polish. (the rest of which is now in the garbage)
"How long do you think it will take to dry?" he asked me.
"Not long" I said, "But we should probably do two coats"
"Yeah, you're probably right" my father said.
Well, that's my story for tonight. Like I said, my family is just as crazy as I am, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Goodnight, and God bless.
So far this hristmas things hve been busy. Mom works, Joe has his girlfriend and wooden reindeer money making scheme, dad has his practice and country band, and mom mom has a list of dates longer than my forearm she has planed for the season, so neatly put on the fridge (It's disturbing when your 84 year old grandmother get's more action than you do).
I have been keeping myself busy with houshold tasks, and Christmas shopping (my mother calls me ahouse elf now), but a rather uneventful holiday thus far.
However, today my father came home from work (for thoe who don't know, he is a veterinarian)and asks, "did you send Russell's Christmas package yet?" Now Russell is my adopted uncle, or an old friend of the family. My father and he have continually sent each other gag gifts for various holidays over many years, each grosser than the last.
I answered my father with a yes, but did not faze him in the slightest. Apparantly my father got the brilliant idea of saving the two cat testicles from his routine neuter today. He then planned to send them to Russell as a gift. First, however, my father and I had to prepare the fresh tissue, so it woul not spoil during the trip. "Do you have any clear nail polish?" my father asked.
"No, I left it at work" my mother said, as if the fact there were now two cat testicles, each hanging on their own paper clip, in a dixie cup on the counter were no different than a pair of marbles.
When I inquired to her calm demeanor, she responded, "oh this isn't the first pair he's brought home before".
So, there I was, holding a paper clip with a dangling cat testicle over our kitchen counter, as my father painted it with my favorite chrome nail polish. (the rest of which is now in the garbage)
"How long do you think it will take to dry?" he asked me.
"Not long" I said, "But we should probably do two coats"
"Yeah, you're probably right" my father said.
Well, that's my story for tonight. Like I said, my family is just as crazy as I am, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Goodnight, and God bless.