Mourning the loss of my summer...
Soooo, its raining and I'm in an emo mood. I've been thinking about last summer and how this one will never even come close to being as good. Everyone has grown up, but I'm the age now they were last summer and i just want to go out every night and walk the streets with my friends and get drunk and sing behind kwiksave. Gay as it sounds.
In saying that, i know that even if we had to go out it wouldnt be the same. Things are different, Steph has left and wont be coming back, Louise wouldnt be coming down because too much has changed and there are issues, Paul and I arent the way we used to be and there are too many new people. Everyone has changed :\
Not that moving on is a bad thing, I feel like i know everyone who've been consistent so much better than i did last year (obviously) and all the new people are pretty cool and stuff and I like how i've made new friends but i still feel a bit meh. Everyone is "grown up" and I'm still 17, just left school, not old or mature enough. You know? I just want to get pissed and spend time with my friends like we did last year but we wont because everyone's too mature and too old or their new friends think its gay and ned-ish to walk the streets, which may be so but i love it <3 I want to be like we were last year when the biggest drama we came up against was the fact that Elliott refused to come out with us and the fact that we managed to get stuck in the same farm TWICE in the middle of the night. Instead everyone's like "lets go out to such-and-such a place in town" or "we'll go and have coffee" which i like doing but at the same time i want to act like a teenager and go out with the people i know and love and have fun without doing anything, by just being with each other and talking and not caring about anything or what the rest of them think.
Now people have too many groups of friends that they have to divide their time between (or not divide time as the case may be)and too many things they have to do, people are different and it sucks. I'm aware that I'm being selfish and i knew that people would move on and grow up and i suppose i knew that being the youngest was bound to make it harder for me than it would be for the rest of you, but i still miss last summer :\
This year might well be fun in another way but it will never compare to last year when everyone was young and cool and we all knew each other and knew what to expect.
<3
In saying that, i know that even if we had to go out it wouldnt be the same. Things are different, Steph has left and wont be coming back, Louise wouldnt be coming down because too much has changed and there are issues, Paul and I arent the way we used to be and there are too many new people. Everyone has changed :\
Not that moving on is a bad thing, I feel like i know everyone who've been consistent so much better than i did last year (obviously) and all the new people are pretty cool and stuff and I like how i've made new friends but i still feel a bit meh. Everyone is "grown up" and I'm still 17, just left school, not old or mature enough. You know? I just want to get pissed and spend time with my friends like we did last year but we wont because everyone's too mature and too old or their new friends think its gay and ned-ish to walk the streets, which may be so but i love it <3 I want to be like we were last year when the biggest drama we came up against was the fact that Elliott refused to come out with us and the fact that we managed to get stuck in the same farm TWICE in the middle of the night. Instead everyone's like "lets go out to such-and-such a place in town" or "we'll go and have coffee" which i like doing but at the same time i want to act like a teenager and go out with the people i know and love and have fun without doing anything, by just being with each other and talking and not caring about anything or what the rest of them think.
Now people have too many groups of friends that they have to divide their time between (or not divide time as the case may be)and too many things they have to do, people are different and it sucks. I'm aware that I'm being selfish and i knew that people would move on and grow up and i suppose i knew that being the youngest was bound to make it harder for me than it would be for the rest of you, but i still miss last summer :\
This year might well be fun in another way but it will never compare to last year when everyone was young and cool and we all knew each other and knew what to expect.
<3