Come to the light
I made pancakes this morning and had a profound realization. There are two kinds of people in the world: those who know how to apply butter to pancakes and those who do not.
I would like to take this time to make something known to all those whom until now have lived in the shadows of poorly buttered pancakes. We are fortunate enough to live in a part of the world where there is certainly no shortage of food, so here is how you butter pancakes:
Step one: Pick up butter knife. (Not the fork! let's not be lazy - it is called a BUTTER knife because it is the only utensil properly equipped for this job.)
Step two: Once you've got your knife, chop a piece of butter off the end of the stick. (Do not skim the top of the stick of butter getting those pathetic little shards as if you're trying not to offend it - it's butter! Chop a hunk off and move on.)
Step three: Slap hunk of butter on pancake. (This means just put it down and let it melt. All of you people that are painting a Monet atop your pancakes have got to be stopped. The pancakes are getting cold as you do that.)
Step four: Repeat steps one-three on each respective pancake. (Don't just butter the top pancake! There are pancake under there! And by god they need your love too.)
I hope I have been able to bring some of you to the light. Go in peace.
I would like to take this time to make something known to all those whom until now have lived in the shadows of poorly buttered pancakes. We are fortunate enough to live in a part of the world where there is certainly no shortage of food, so here is how you butter pancakes:
Step one: Pick up butter knife. (Not the fork! let's not be lazy - it is called a BUTTER knife because it is the only utensil properly equipped for this job.)
Step two: Once you've got your knife, chop a piece of butter off the end of the stick. (Do not skim the top of the stick of butter getting those pathetic little shards as if you're trying not to offend it - it's butter! Chop a hunk off and move on.)
Step three: Slap hunk of butter on pancake. (This means just put it down and let it melt. All of you people that are painting a Monet atop your pancakes have got to be stopped. The pancakes are getting cold as you do that.)
Step four: Repeat steps one-three on each respective pancake. (Don't just butter the top pancake! There are pancake under there! And by god they need your love too.)
I hope I have been able to bring some of you to the light. Go in peace.