First Day of Spring
For the beginning of Spring, the day was probably lovely. I was unable to enjoy it as much as I might have liked. For one thing, I could not get my nose to stop its constant dripping even after rinsing my sinuses, taking a Claritan, a Benadryl, and Tylenol Cold & Sinus. The constant itching inside my nose was annoying, but even worse was the fact that at inconvenient times, my nose would drip quickly so that I couldn’t get a tissue quickly enough (unless it was in my hand already) or I would sneeze and it kept being the kind of sneeze that was unpredicted and I would have needed to have a tissue right then and there. I was also experiencing my pre-vacation jitters, the worries of packing, the feeling like I needed to plan every little detail, and the knowledge that I would be unable to plan every detail, including big ones, such as reserving the flight from Honolulu to Molokai and making sure the schedule would work.
Because I had difficulty accomplishing this task, I was kind of stuck. I did manage to pack everything, but needed my husband’s help to arrange the flight. Even though it felt like a task I would be perfectly capable of doing, I was mired in self-doubt, which defeated me and I had to leave it to him even though he had more than enough other things to worry about.
Thanks to his willingness to take over that task, I was able to attend the event at First Unitarian Universalist Church where Ruth Barrett led a group in chanting and introduced us to Diannic Wiccan traditions. She and Shelley also provided concerts for us afterwards. It was the type of thing that many of my friends expected me to be interested in, but honestly, I typically do not attend. Diannic traditions honor the goddess and ignore the masculine aspects of deity and ignore men. I typically prefer the company of men and have few female friends. While I do find beauty in the balance of the feminine and masculine, I don’t generally want to abandon one side or the other.
In the mood I was in, feeling vulnerable, tentative, a little broken and fragile, I was glad to see my friends when I arrived. And it was a variety of friends, including women I rarely see anymore as well as my closest friends that I regularly do things with. It was very comforting to talk to each of the people and to exchange hugs.
Then when the actual event began, it was more relevant to me than I expected. I felt like the philosophy and stories were the same I’m trying to learn, and the message about Spring Equinox was validating. It was comforting to learn that this time of year is difficult because it is the in-between. It was validating to be reminded that this time of year is turbulent, that the weather is unpredictable, constantly changing as well, that we’re trying to increase speed after the slowing down of winter, and that can be difficult even though it’s exciting.
It was a good opportunity to be in a community of people I love and trust, a good chance to meditate while listening to stories and songs about peace, love, life, and other women’s experiences. It was great for gearing me up to be in the right state of mind to relax and enjoy the vacation which started the next morning.
Because I had difficulty accomplishing this task, I was kind of stuck. I did manage to pack everything, but needed my husband’s help to arrange the flight. Even though it felt like a task I would be perfectly capable of doing, I was mired in self-doubt, which defeated me and I had to leave it to him even though he had more than enough other things to worry about.
Thanks to his willingness to take over that task, I was able to attend the event at First Unitarian Universalist Church where Ruth Barrett led a group in chanting and introduced us to Diannic Wiccan traditions. She and Shelley also provided concerts for us afterwards. It was the type of thing that many of my friends expected me to be interested in, but honestly, I typically do not attend. Diannic traditions honor the goddess and ignore the masculine aspects of deity and ignore men. I typically prefer the company of men and have few female friends. While I do find beauty in the balance of the feminine and masculine, I don’t generally want to abandon one side or the other.
In the mood I was in, feeling vulnerable, tentative, a little broken and fragile, I was glad to see my friends when I arrived. And it was a variety of friends, including women I rarely see anymore as well as my closest friends that I regularly do things with. It was very comforting to talk to each of the people and to exchange hugs.
Then when the actual event began, it was more relevant to me than I expected. I felt like the philosophy and stories were the same I’m trying to learn, and the message about Spring Equinox was validating. It was comforting to learn that this time of year is difficult because it is the in-between. It was validating to be reminded that this time of year is turbulent, that the weather is unpredictable, constantly changing as well, that we’re trying to increase speed after the slowing down of winter, and that can be difficult even though it’s exciting.
It was a good opportunity to be in a community of people I love and trust, a good chance to meditate while listening to stories and songs about peace, love, life, and other women’s experiences. It was great for gearing me up to be in the right state of mind to relax and enjoy the vacation which started the next morning.