On blogging
When you write about something in an online journal, you're sharing it with the whole world (or just your friends, depending). You're saying "hey! This is how I feel about things, this is what I think about things, this is what happened in my life today!" Writing online gives you an excellent way to vent about whatever is happening in your life and get feedback from it - feedback from your friends, family, or even random people who happen across your journal and are interested. In this way you can learn a lot of new things about how other people view the world, and even by simply writing it out you can learn more about what you are truly feeling. This doesn't extend to just journal writing, however. You can write anything you like and post it on a forum for people who are interested in that topic - e.g. fan-fiction, erotica, wikipedia articles, and so on. TEH INTERNETS IS AWESOME.
When you open yourself up like that though, there can be huge drawbacks. I had a very hard time realizing (and I mean FULLY realizing) just how public my journal was. Back in high school, I figured only my friends on livejournal would read what I wrote - I figured no one else would really care, and even if they did they'd have a hard time finding my personal journal among the many thousands of others.
Not so.
Certain people found my journal, showed it to other people, who showed it to others, and you get the idea. And at the time, I wasn't being terribly careful about what I wrote - I gossiped about people, I complained about things, and I often came across as The Most Conceited, Ignorant, Arrogant Asshole Ever. After all, who blogs about how nice, stress-free, and happy things are? Okay, some people do, but more often than not it's a rant about how awful things are or how much of a b**** that person is being or how unfair life is. And when people who didn't know me very well in real life read this stuff, they probably formed terrible, terrible opinions of me. Hell, when some of my FRIENDS read this stuff, they did the same! That's the thing with having a true journal, though - you're putting down raw emotions unfiltered by time or deep reflection. You write and write, and eventually figure out what it is you're thinking and feeling. Your journal is the rough draft of what you'll do in real life, how you'll deal with things the next day, what you'll eventually tell people when they ask what's up. It's a reflection of your thought process, not the polished, nuanced, end product of that process.
At least, that's how it is for me. Thing is, that's OKAY. That's how it's supposed to work. That's what journals are for. However, when all of that venting and stream-of-consciousness hits the internet, those people who haven't had the chance to SEE the end product, the true you-in-real-life, immediately assume that your journal IS the end product. And naturally, they're going to question you on it. They're going to say "Why did you write this? This is clearly wrong. Why would you assume person x thinks this about person y? Why are you complaining about this, people elsewhere have it so much worse!" And also naturally, you're going to rise up to defend your thought process - because these AREN'T your final conclusions and because you know you're not a horrible person in the end. More often than not, though, this isn't going to show through. The argument will center on "Who is right?" rather than on "What can I learn from this?" By this point, the other person has formed a premature, unjustified, and extremely hard-to-shake negative opinion of you based entirely on something you wrote as a "rough draft." In the end, everyone is angry and upset: the other person because they are (wrongly) incensed at how incorrect and callous you are, and you because you're being unfairly represented and judged.
This is all not to mention the other things that will eventually happen: comment wars, completely unjustified personal attacks, and even the rending of real-life friendships. All because nobody is perfect (most of us are far from it), and because you had the balls to exhibit the most imperfect parts of your personality. And those are the parts that are the easiest for others to call you out on - you're a virtual sitting duck.
Ok great. Having a journal sucks. But what the hell do you DO? There are a few options.
1) Stop having an online journal altogether. Write in a book at home. That way you can work all your stuff out in private, without anyone reading over your shoulder and criticizing every little misstep you take. This works for a lot of people. Then again though, you do lose out on your real-life friends commenting helpfully and helping you out with stuff.
2) Have an online journal, but make it friends only. That way you can vent freely and are somewhat assured that nobody you haven't previously approved will read your journal - this is not failsafe, however (as I've learned the hard way). Unfortunately, this can leave you open to friendly fire. A friend can and will occasionally read too much into your journal and go off half-cocked to other people about how wrong you are (true story!). If this does happen, refer to option 3.
3) Say FUCK 'EM and make a public journal. Grow a thick skin. Write whatever the hell you want (within reason). But at the same time, acknowledge and prepare for the fact that ANYONE can read it (your boss, your girlfriend, your dad, your mother-in-law, etc etc). Don't write anything stupid that would get you fired or disowned or whatever - save those for the friends-only entries. If you put an opinion in your blog, be prepared to either defend it or adjust it. If some jerk takes offense or starts in on how wrong you are, you can try to have a reasonable discourse with him/her. If that doesn't work, SCREW IT. They're not worth your time. If every scientist was reduced to a sad ball of sadness and retracted their scientific papers every time someone loudly and publicly (and unjustly) told them they were wrong, science wouldn't be where it is today. Scientists do research and write papers to further science and humanity. People write journals to de-stress, think through things, and better themselves. There will ALWAYS be naysayers, but you can't let them drag you down. It's not your problem if other people take offense - you didn't write this for them. You wrote it for YOURSELF. So just drop it. If they don't like what they read, they can go elsewhere. If they publicly denounce you for what you wrote, you can either stand up for yourself or ignore it. Your other friends and the more intelligent people on the internet will realize that your journal is not the final you. And they'll respect you all the more when you don't let naysayers silent you.
When you open yourself up like that though, there can be huge drawbacks. I had a very hard time realizing (and I mean FULLY realizing) just how public my journal was. Back in high school, I figured only my friends on livejournal would read what I wrote - I figured no one else would really care, and even if they did they'd have a hard time finding my personal journal among the many thousands of others.
Not so.
Certain people found my journal, showed it to other people, who showed it to others, and you get the idea. And at the time, I wasn't being terribly careful about what I wrote - I gossiped about people, I complained about things, and I often came across as The Most Conceited, Ignorant, Arrogant Asshole Ever. After all, who blogs about how nice, stress-free, and happy things are? Okay, some people do, but more often than not it's a rant about how awful things are or how much of a b**** that person is being or how unfair life is. And when people who didn't know me very well in real life read this stuff, they probably formed terrible, terrible opinions of me. Hell, when some of my FRIENDS read this stuff, they did the same! That's the thing with having a true journal, though - you're putting down raw emotions unfiltered by time or deep reflection. You write and write, and eventually figure out what it is you're thinking and feeling. Your journal is the rough draft of what you'll do in real life, how you'll deal with things the next day, what you'll eventually tell people when they ask what's up. It's a reflection of your thought process, not the polished, nuanced, end product of that process.
At least, that's how it is for me. Thing is, that's OKAY. That's how it's supposed to work. That's what journals are for. However, when all of that venting and stream-of-consciousness hits the internet, those people who haven't had the chance to SEE the end product, the true you-in-real-life, immediately assume that your journal IS the end product. And naturally, they're going to question you on it. They're going to say "Why did you write this? This is clearly wrong. Why would you assume person x thinks this about person y? Why are you complaining about this, people elsewhere have it so much worse!" And also naturally, you're going to rise up to defend your thought process - because these AREN'T your final conclusions and because you know you're not a horrible person in the end. More often than not, though, this isn't going to show through. The argument will center on "Who is right?" rather than on "What can I learn from this?" By this point, the other person has formed a premature, unjustified, and extremely hard-to-shake negative opinion of you based entirely on something you wrote as a "rough draft." In the end, everyone is angry and upset: the other person because they are (wrongly) incensed at how incorrect and callous you are, and you because you're being unfairly represented and judged.
This is all not to mention the other things that will eventually happen: comment wars, completely unjustified personal attacks, and even the rending of real-life friendships. All because nobody is perfect (most of us are far from it), and because you had the balls to exhibit the most imperfect parts of your personality. And those are the parts that are the easiest for others to call you out on - you're a virtual sitting duck.
Ok great. Having a journal sucks. But what the hell do you DO? There are a few options.
1) Stop having an online journal altogether. Write in a book at home. That way you can work all your stuff out in private, without anyone reading over your shoulder and criticizing every little misstep you take. This works for a lot of people. Then again though, you do lose out on your real-life friends commenting helpfully and helping you out with stuff.
2) Have an online journal, but make it friends only. That way you can vent freely and are somewhat assured that nobody you haven't previously approved will read your journal - this is not failsafe, however (as I've learned the hard way). Unfortunately, this can leave you open to friendly fire. A friend can and will occasionally read too much into your journal and go off half-cocked to other people about how wrong you are (true story!). If this does happen, refer to option 3.
3) Say FUCK 'EM and make a public journal. Grow a thick skin. Write whatever the hell you want (within reason). But at the same time, acknowledge and prepare for the fact that ANYONE can read it (your boss, your girlfriend, your dad, your mother-in-law, etc etc). Don't write anything stupid that would get you fired or disowned or whatever - save those for the friends-only entries. If you put an opinion in your blog, be prepared to either defend it or adjust it. If some jerk takes offense or starts in on how wrong you are, you can try to have a reasonable discourse with him/her. If that doesn't work, SCREW IT. They're not worth your time. If every scientist was reduced to a sad ball of sadness and retracted their scientific papers every time someone loudly and publicly (and unjustly) told them they were wrong, science wouldn't be where it is today. Scientists do research and write papers to further science and humanity. People write journals to de-stress, think through things, and better themselves. There will ALWAYS be naysayers, but you can't let them drag you down. It's not your problem if other people take offense - you didn't write this for them. You wrote it for YOURSELF. So just drop it. If they don't like what they read, they can go elsewhere. If they publicly denounce you for what you wrote, you can either stand up for yourself or ignore it. Your other friends and the more intelligent people on the internet will realize that your journal is not the final you. And they'll respect you all the more when you don't let naysayers silent you.