(no subject)
today at 2:14am, for the first time in over a year, i started my period.. actually, it was a small spot of blood in my pajama bottoms and then it was over, but the cramping and bitchiness has set in and may stay for the required 3 to 5 days.. brace yourselves, kids..
in a related story, shannon woke up early this morning, got ready for work, and then left before 6:03am without telling me goodbye.. i didn't even know she was gone until i woke up and realized she wasn't there.. which, because i'm overly emotional and because she doesn't leave for work until 6:30 and never leaves without saying goodbye, made me sob uncontrollably.. all those old thoughts came rushing back to me..
she doesn't love me anymore.. she's seeing someone else.. she's avoiding me.. she must be angry with me.. what did i do to upset her? why am i so unlovable?
i went on like this until i was left with a soggy pillow and enough snot to destroy a warehouse full of tissue.. which means, about 20 minutes, when i heard her key in the door..
when she walked in, i ran into her arms and covered her face with my tearful snotty kisses.. she had gone to the store and bought me chocolate, pamprin and a peach.. she reassured me of her love and devotion and then left for work.. i've never been with anyone so thoughtful before.. i'm most excited about my peach.. i would never eat a peach because i think they taste awful, but i love rubbing them against my cheeks..
normally, i find a way to end my entries.. to make them seem more solid.. this time, it's only 8:44am.. my day has just begun..
in a related story, shannon woke up early this morning, got ready for work, and then left before 6:03am without telling me goodbye.. i didn't even know she was gone until i woke up and realized she wasn't there.. which, because i'm overly emotional and because she doesn't leave for work until 6:30 and never leaves without saying goodbye, made me sob uncontrollably.. all those old thoughts came rushing back to me..
she doesn't love me anymore.. she's seeing someone else.. she's avoiding me.. she must be angry with me.. what did i do to upset her? why am i so unlovable?
i went on like this until i was left with a soggy pillow and enough snot to destroy a warehouse full of tissue.. which means, about 20 minutes, when i heard her key in the door..
when she walked in, i ran into her arms and covered her face with my tearful snotty kisses.. she had gone to the store and bought me chocolate, pamprin and a peach.. she reassured me of her love and devotion and then left for work.. i've never been with anyone so thoughtful before.. i'm most excited about my peach.. i would never eat a peach because i think they taste awful, but i love rubbing them against my cheeks..
normally, i find a way to end my entries.. to make them seem more solid.. this time, it's only 8:44am.. my day has just begun..