sadness.
I write this more for me, less for you - please feel free to move on to the next post on your friends page if you wish, no hard feelings.
This past wednesday morning I woke up earlier than is normal for me. I woke around 7, felt decent, and lolled in bed for about 20 minutes before making a decision to get up and shower.
my phone went off, and thinking it was an alarm I had snoozed, I went to grab it and noticed it was a call from my dad's cell phone.
the conversation was brief. 1 minute, 13 seconds. Long enough for my dad to let me know my grandfather had passed away Tuesday night while bowling.
after hanging up the phone my immediate thought was to call out of work. I wanted to hibernate. escape. hide. avoid. but as i remained in bed, I knew that none of the arrangements would be made yet, there would be nothing to do but stay alone and dwell on it, so i did decide to go to work. I had begun to cry when my dad told me the news. after determining to go to work, i stopped the tears. In the shower, I began to think about what an integral part he had been in my life growing up. What would next christmas be like, now that we wouldn't be all going to Grampy's house in the afternoon to gather the whole family together? and i began i to cry again. composing myself again, i finished the shower, and got myself ready for work. I put more care and attention than I ever do before work- managing to put on a necklace and earrings. I updated my status to facebook, "worst way to start a wednesday, or any day for that matter". The well-connected social network that I have, quickly a cousin and an aunt had commented on the status, sending the notifications to my phone. One of the comments was that it was a rough night for my dad, received 1/2 way to work, set me with the tears again.
My father has always been my rock. 7 years ago when Grammy died in 2003 I saw how much it affected him. Such a strong man, to see tears in his eyes. To hear that statement made me think of what he must have been like Tuesday night. The oldest of the 7 children, while they all are very involved and key members of the family, certainly a certain aspect of responsibility in the situation must have fallen to him.
I got to work, punched in, dropped my stuff at my desk, and knew I had to tell my manager. So i went into her office. and told her I was probably going to need to take Friday off, and when she asked why, i almost instantaneously broke down again. She was 100% understanding and told me to leave if I needed to. I felt I was best off staying occupied, hopefully to act in a diversionary purpose. I said i wanted to get a couple things done, and would probably leave by noon.
I sat down to do work, and normal emails from cajones came in, excited that it was 1/2 way through the week. But my week was already over. The sponsor that I call every day, but hardly ever talk to - called a little after 8, knowing I was probably at work but wanted to let me know she was heading out of town to San Diego for work, and didn't know if she'd be back by friday for our meeting. I responded that I probably wouldn't be in town either, and shared with her why. Talk about something greater than myself at work with that phone call. That she called that morning. She told me I have a giant god, to reach out and let others know what was going on, and to keep in touch. She said that times like this are meant to be messy, and not to be ashamed or embarrassed when it is messy. it didn't take 20 minutes to have texts start coming in - she had talked to others to also let them know what was going on.
I got an email from Patty asking if I was at work, so i replied, saying yes, but probably not for much longer. Sure enough, by 9:15 my manager had come over, placed her hand on my shoulder and suggested that I just go home. I finished the order I was working on, put my out of office auto-reply on, cleaned up my desk area a little, and punched out.
I went to lowes. I was scheduled to work wed and thursday night. Right off I found the manager on duty, and just walking towards her I started breaking down again. I shared what happened, she told me to take as much time as i needed and to not worry about it.
upon leaving lowes, I called patty at work. she shared that the kids were meeting at Grampys house at 10am to plan the arrangements, that nothing was known yet, but that dad could probably use some company if i wanted to come home. I went back to the apartment, gathered some things together, got Oakley situated for an extended alone stay, and headed out around 10:45.
Mom called, I had texted sam what had happened, and she must have let mom know, mom called dad, mom called me. She filled me in that the kids were suspecting wife #2 (since 2005) of possibly switching medications for sugar pills (she was assumed/is assumed to be gold digging, as she is 20 years his junior). That there might be an autopsy, and it wasn't clear if there would be a wake/funeral in the immediate future.
The drive up was mainly uneventful. more texts, a couple calls. Got to maine, no one was at dad's house so i dropped off my stuff, and went to Grampys. All the kids were there, but i didn't see my dad. After a few awkward moments of silence, I asked where dad was. He had gone with an uncle to pick up grampy's car from the bowling alley. I asked that they let him know I was in maine and got home safe when he got back, and took off. Went to mom's. Mom was home on lunch from work, sam didn't have school. She and i went in to the mall so i could return a christmas gift. After the mall, we went back to mom's house and she did work for school and i did reading for my class. About 7 we left. I stopped at dad's to grab my scarf, and dad was home, so i let him know i was heading out to a meeting and should be home by 9:30ish.
We sat down to the side of the hall, and shortly thereafter a younger female came over to introducer herself, as she noticed we were new to the meeting. We chatted for a little bit, and I was comforted that AA works as well in MA as it does in maine. The speakers were really good - very recovery focused. They did the chips, and they went up to 18 months. MA does not give out chips for 18 months, but seeing as i just celebrated 18 months on the 3rd, it was certainly appropriate to go get one. So did my giant god work again, providing me the small token to reassure me that it would be ok. I dropped sam back at home and got home about 9:30. Dad was watching criminal minds, I changed into pj's, and hunkered down on the couch in the living room. Patty came home shortly thereafter. Arrangements had been set for the wake on Friday and the funeral on Saturday, no autopsy. we all chatted for a little while until dad and patty went to bed. I watched TV for a little while longer before going to bed.
With nothing to do Thursday, i stayed in "bed" (couch) until 11. Got up and no one was home. Showered, grabbed my school book, and it was life as normal, interspersed with texts from friends back in MA sending love, prayers and support for me and the family. Thursday night I went to dinner with mom and sam, we watched most of a movie after that, and i went back to dads. Patty came home from work shortly after I returned, more conversations ensued, then bed.
Friday i woke up earlier than the previous day, patty was ironing, dad was reading the paper. We all were getting ready. The first session was from 2-4. I took my own car, grabbed a starbucks and headed to the funeral parlor. It wasn't real until I was there, seeing my cousins, my aunts and uncles, teary eyed, silent, mournful. the doors opened to the room, and i couldn't go in. When i finally did, I went to the back of the room, where there were picture memory boards set up. trying to keep composure. After a short while, Patty came over, asking if I'd gone to see Grampy yet, and i said not yet, which she felt was her cue to bring me to the front, despite not wanting to face it. Not for lack of respect or love, but just for the sheer reality of the situation. I spent the majority of the time on the side wall or in the back of the room. Most of the people that came were people I didn't know, and had no desire to meet. The session ended at 4, and the family headed to Grampys for food before the next session at 7. Conversations between cousins revolved around wife #2's ungrateful son (now probably 18 - as of last summer had a "hit list" in his locker at school, was making threats to kill my grandfather, and generally loathed my the entire family.) Back at 7, to a much busier session. it was 930 before most of the family headed out. I went home, getting gas before the final destination of home. Bed came shortly thereafter, knowing the funeral was at 11 the next day.
I decided to drive with dad and patty to the funeral, and when we left at 9:30 I was under the assumption it was to go to the church. Little did i know we were going back to the funeral parlor. I was unprepared and slightly unwilling to do this again. I was under the impression the wake was the chance for the final thoughts, respects and goodbyes, and had mentally prepared for that when I left the parlor on Friday night. finally, we left for the church. It didn't take more than 3 minutes inside before the tears began again. just as yawns are contagious, so are the sad, painful looks in the eyes of family. My father gave the eulogy which was equally difficult for me to hear.
Post funeral, family gathered back at Grampy's house, along with others close to the family. Already with ill-feelings towards wife #2, I became thoroughly disgusted by the plethora of people in the house that were unrecognizable to me - from her side of the family. In the 5 years of their relationship, never once (with the exception of the wedding, probably) have i seen these people. they were not a part of thanksgivings, christmas', easters or summer gatherings. I viewed them as unwelcome guests in the house, and wanted them gone.
at one point nearly all of the grandkids were gathered in the den, mostly having a fun time -- aged 24 to 10 -- occasionally remembering fun times in the orchard, previous holidays, funny grammy and grampy stories. At one point, some woman in a green sweater came in, bouncy and bubble and asks the room " HEEEYYYY!!! Anyone mind if I put the Foot-Ball Game on??" the expression "if looks could kill" have never been truer. This woman, this intruder in my grandfathers house, coming in to the room, asking to turn on a football game as if it was after thanksgiving dinner and we're all hunkering down to catch the score and take a nap. I Looked at her and said with such scorn, bitterness and anger "Actually, YES. I DO mind - this isn't what we're here for." The woman walked out of the room as a dog with it's tail between it's legs would. I could not believe the nerve of the woman. I am oh-so-sorry the woman who married my grandfather 5 years ago that you somehow are related to just lost someone you have no recognition or appreciation of, but many of us did. the fucking cunt.
I stayed there for a bit longer, and at one point asked Patty how long she thought she and dad would be staying there. Knowing I wanted to head back to Mass that night, as i was scheduled to work sunday morning. She offered to drive me back to the house so I could gather my things and head out. She shared that all the kids were probably going to stay until everyone else had left, so they could have the conversation with wife #2 about arranging a time to all sit down and figure out what she was thinking she was going to get from the passing of my Grampy.
It was about 4 as I headed out and i sent a few texts to some friends in MA, knowing I needed a meeting that night, i needed not to be alone. A good friend texted back about a commitment a group was putting on. She offered to pick me up and we'd all go together. we went to a meeting in wakefield that has over 300 people, and more than 15 of the group members went down to put on the commitment. not being a regular attender of the meeting due to working wednesdays at lowes, i wasn't anticipating being called upon to speak. Also, i wasn't looking to speak, as i just wanted to listen. Sure enough, my god works in strange ways and 2 speakers after the break, my name was called to speak. each member was asked to limit our sharing to 5-7 minutes to allow for as many members to share as possible. I got up, talked about what brought me to AA, and what i've experienced since coming in, working through the steps. I talked about the strong fellowship, of people genuinely caring for one another, so that when I got a call wednesday morning, about my grandfather passing, that my phone had constant texts, voice mails, calls and messages through facebook from people in the program, expressing sympathies, prayers and support. of course the tears began again, and i concluded that i did not share the passing of my grandfather to seek sympathy, but because i was able to get through the entire experience without picking up a drink because I have had others share their experiences of getting through similar situations without needing to drink. only 2 of the 15+ people on the commitment with me that night knew of what I had been going through since wednesday, and it wasn't how i intended to share such news.
After the meeting I went to dinner with two other women, and it was nice. conversation, companionship and consolation on a matter of issues.
sunday i did not want to go to work, and felt I could "play" the death card, but also recognized that avoiding life would not change what had happened. But i didn't want to hear sympathies from co-workers that i only associated with at lowes. The same happened this morning as i woke for work. Again i wanted to call out, to hide in my bed, do sheet therapy. but i got up and went.
people continue to ask how i'm doing. I'm okay. I don't spend every minute or hour thinking about the death of my grandfather. projecting what will be in store for holidays for the family. wishing i had saved my christmas cards from this year, as it will be the last card i'll ever receive from my grampy. so, it's life as normal. it's only when asked by others how i'm doing, or when they come up to me to tell me how sorry they are for me, and asking "were you close to him?" when i think about it and get saddened.
Yes, I was very close to him. I think i was more upset in 2003 when my gram died, because i was so very close to her, but the upset extended beyond his passing to how it affects so many other things now that both of my dad's parents are now no longer with us. But their house was a second home to me. growing up I went there after school before my dad got out of work to do homework. Summers were spent there before going to camp, and after camp. every holiday, family gathering was held there. My dad and all 6 of his siblings were raised there. And when they all got older, got married and had kids, all the grandkids practically grew up there too.
I end this as I began it - this is more for me, for me to process, to record, to acknowledge the events since that phone call at 7:30am on wednesday, than for you.
http://www.asimas.com/ASIMAS/lynchbros/obituaryDescription.jsp?domain_id=244&deceased_id=216319
Raymond A. Marquis
Norway- Raymond A. Marquis age 77 of Harris Hill Road Poland died unexpectedly Tuesday January 12, 2010 at Stephens Memorial Hospital. Born in Lewiston on March 1, 1933 the son of Albert and Antoinette (Beaudry) Marquis. He was educated in Lewiston schools. He worked first as an Electrician at Kerr Electric, in 1970 He founded his own electrical business which he operated until his retirement. Ray maintained an apple orchard for many years at his home in Poland where he resided for fifty years. He met his first wife the former Mary Lou McLellan while roller skating at the Rollodrome, they were married in 1955 and shared 48 years of marriage until her death in 2003. His many hobbies included bowling, deep sea fishing, hunting, boating, woodworking, watching bluebirds and hummingbirds at his home. Ray became nationally known as "The Birdman" after rescuing a hummingbird at his birdfeeder. He enjoyed time at Moxie Lake at the Forks. He loved spending time with his seven children and fourteen grandchildren. He was also involved with coaching the Little League in Poland for many years were his sons played baseball.
He is survived by his wife the former Sandra Dyer of Poland whom he married in 2005 and her son Lucas Smith, also surviving are four sons, Wayne and his wife Patty , Daniel and his wife Sandy, Jeff and his wife Tracey and Mark and his wife Lisa, three daughters, Maureen Marquis, Patricia and her husband Pedro Rojas and Kate and her husband Matt Tufts, three sisters, Cecile Giguere and her husband Gabriel, Jackie and her husband Guy Giguere, and Pauline Schutt, fourteen grandchildren many nieces and nephews.
This past wednesday morning I woke up earlier than is normal for me. I woke around 7, felt decent, and lolled in bed for about 20 minutes before making a decision to get up and shower.
my phone went off, and thinking it was an alarm I had snoozed, I went to grab it and noticed it was a call from my dad's cell phone.
the conversation was brief. 1 minute, 13 seconds. Long enough for my dad to let me know my grandfather had passed away Tuesday night while bowling.
after hanging up the phone my immediate thought was to call out of work. I wanted to hibernate. escape. hide. avoid. but as i remained in bed, I knew that none of the arrangements would be made yet, there would be nothing to do but stay alone and dwell on it, so i did decide to go to work. I had begun to cry when my dad told me the news. after determining to go to work, i stopped the tears. In the shower, I began to think about what an integral part he had been in my life growing up. What would next christmas be like, now that we wouldn't be all going to Grampy's house in the afternoon to gather the whole family together? and i began i to cry again. composing myself again, i finished the shower, and got myself ready for work. I put more care and attention than I ever do before work- managing to put on a necklace and earrings. I updated my status to facebook, "worst way to start a wednesday, or any day for that matter". The well-connected social network that I have, quickly a cousin and an aunt had commented on the status, sending the notifications to my phone. One of the comments was that it was a rough night for my dad, received 1/2 way to work, set me with the tears again.
My father has always been my rock. 7 years ago when Grammy died in 2003 I saw how much it affected him. Such a strong man, to see tears in his eyes. To hear that statement made me think of what he must have been like Tuesday night. The oldest of the 7 children, while they all are very involved and key members of the family, certainly a certain aspect of responsibility in the situation must have fallen to him.
I got to work, punched in, dropped my stuff at my desk, and knew I had to tell my manager. So i went into her office. and told her I was probably going to need to take Friday off, and when she asked why, i almost instantaneously broke down again. She was 100% understanding and told me to leave if I needed to. I felt I was best off staying occupied, hopefully to act in a diversionary purpose. I said i wanted to get a couple things done, and would probably leave by noon.
I sat down to do work, and normal emails from cajones came in, excited that it was 1/2 way through the week. But my week was already over. The sponsor that I call every day, but hardly ever talk to - called a little after 8, knowing I was probably at work but wanted to let me know she was heading out of town to San Diego for work, and didn't know if she'd be back by friday for our meeting. I responded that I probably wouldn't be in town either, and shared with her why. Talk about something greater than myself at work with that phone call. That she called that morning. She told me I have a giant god, to reach out and let others know what was going on, and to keep in touch. She said that times like this are meant to be messy, and not to be ashamed or embarrassed when it is messy. it didn't take 20 minutes to have texts start coming in - she had talked to others to also let them know what was going on.
I got an email from Patty asking if I was at work, so i replied, saying yes, but probably not for much longer. Sure enough, by 9:15 my manager had come over, placed her hand on my shoulder and suggested that I just go home. I finished the order I was working on, put my out of office auto-reply on, cleaned up my desk area a little, and punched out.
I went to lowes. I was scheduled to work wed and thursday night. Right off I found the manager on duty, and just walking towards her I started breaking down again. I shared what happened, she told me to take as much time as i needed and to not worry about it.
upon leaving lowes, I called patty at work. she shared that the kids were meeting at Grampys house at 10am to plan the arrangements, that nothing was known yet, but that dad could probably use some company if i wanted to come home. I went back to the apartment, gathered some things together, got Oakley situated for an extended alone stay, and headed out around 10:45.
Mom called, I had texted sam what had happened, and she must have let mom know, mom called dad, mom called me. She filled me in that the kids were suspecting wife #2 (since 2005) of possibly switching medications for sugar pills (she was assumed/is assumed to be gold digging, as she is 20 years his junior). That there might be an autopsy, and it wasn't clear if there would be a wake/funeral in the immediate future.
The drive up was mainly uneventful. more texts, a couple calls. Got to maine, no one was at dad's house so i dropped off my stuff, and went to Grampys. All the kids were there, but i didn't see my dad. After a few awkward moments of silence, I asked where dad was. He had gone with an uncle to pick up grampy's car from the bowling alley. I asked that they let him know I was in maine and got home safe when he got back, and took off. Went to mom's. Mom was home on lunch from work, sam didn't have school. She and i went in to the mall so i could return a christmas gift. After the mall, we went back to mom's house and she did work for school and i did reading for my class. About 7 we left. I stopped at dad's to grab my scarf, and dad was home, so i let him know i was heading out to a meeting and should be home by 9:30ish.
We sat down to the side of the hall, and shortly thereafter a younger female came over to introducer herself, as she noticed we were new to the meeting. We chatted for a little bit, and I was comforted that AA works as well in MA as it does in maine. The speakers were really good - very recovery focused. They did the chips, and they went up to 18 months. MA does not give out chips for 18 months, but seeing as i just celebrated 18 months on the 3rd, it was certainly appropriate to go get one. So did my giant god work again, providing me the small token to reassure me that it would be ok. I dropped sam back at home and got home about 9:30. Dad was watching criminal minds, I changed into pj's, and hunkered down on the couch in the living room. Patty came home shortly thereafter. Arrangements had been set for the wake on Friday and the funeral on Saturday, no autopsy. we all chatted for a little while until dad and patty went to bed. I watched TV for a little while longer before going to bed.
With nothing to do Thursday, i stayed in "bed" (couch) until 11. Got up and no one was home. Showered, grabbed my school book, and it was life as normal, interspersed with texts from friends back in MA sending love, prayers and support for me and the family. Thursday night I went to dinner with mom and sam, we watched most of a movie after that, and i went back to dads. Patty came home from work shortly after I returned, more conversations ensued, then bed.
Friday i woke up earlier than the previous day, patty was ironing, dad was reading the paper. We all were getting ready. The first session was from 2-4. I took my own car, grabbed a starbucks and headed to the funeral parlor. It wasn't real until I was there, seeing my cousins, my aunts and uncles, teary eyed, silent, mournful. the doors opened to the room, and i couldn't go in. When i finally did, I went to the back of the room, where there were picture memory boards set up. trying to keep composure. After a short while, Patty came over, asking if I'd gone to see Grampy yet, and i said not yet, which she felt was her cue to bring me to the front, despite not wanting to face it. Not for lack of respect or love, but just for the sheer reality of the situation. I spent the majority of the time on the side wall or in the back of the room. Most of the people that came were people I didn't know, and had no desire to meet. The session ended at 4, and the family headed to Grampys for food before the next session at 7. Conversations between cousins revolved around wife #2's ungrateful son (now probably 18 - as of last summer had a "hit list" in his locker at school, was making threats to kill my grandfather, and generally loathed my the entire family.) Back at 7, to a much busier session. it was 930 before most of the family headed out. I went home, getting gas before the final destination of home. Bed came shortly thereafter, knowing the funeral was at 11 the next day.
I decided to drive with dad and patty to the funeral, and when we left at 9:30 I was under the assumption it was to go to the church. Little did i know we were going back to the funeral parlor. I was unprepared and slightly unwilling to do this again. I was under the impression the wake was the chance for the final thoughts, respects and goodbyes, and had mentally prepared for that when I left the parlor on Friday night. finally, we left for the church. It didn't take more than 3 minutes inside before the tears began again. just as yawns are contagious, so are the sad, painful looks in the eyes of family. My father gave the eulogy which was equally difficult for me to hear.
Post funeral, family gathered back at Grampy's house, along with others close to the family. Already with ill-feelings towards wife #2, I became thoroughly disgusted by the plethora of people in the house that were unrecognizable to me - from her side of the family. In the 5 years of their relationship, never once (with the exception of the wedding, probably) have i seen these people. they were not a part of thanksgivings, christmas', easters or summer gatherings. I viewed them as unwelcome guests in the house, and wanted them gone.
at one point nearly all of the grandkids were gathered in the den, mostly having a fun time -- aged 24 to 10 -- occasionally remembering fun times in the orchard, previous holidays, funny grammy and grampy stories. At one point, some woman in a green sweater came in, bouncy and bubble and asks the room " HEEEYYYY!!! Anyone mind if I put the Foot-Ball Game on??" the expression "if looks could kill" have never been truer. This woman, this intruder in my grandfathers house, coming in to the room, asking to turn on a football game as if it was after thanksgiving dinner and we're all hunkering down to catch the score and take a nap. I Looked at her and said with such scorn, bitterness and anger "Actually, YES. I DO mind - this isn't what we're here for." The woman walked out of the room as a dog with it's tail between it's legs would. I could not believe the nerve of the woman. I am oh-so-sorry the woman who married my grandfather 5 years ago that you somehow are related to just lost someone you have no recognition or appreciation of, but many of us did. the fucking cunt.
I stayed there for a bit longer, and at one point asked Patty how long she thought she and dad would be staying there. Knowing I wanted to head back to Mass that night, as i was scheduled to work sunday morning. She offered to drive me back to the house so I could gather my things and head out. She shared that all the kids were probably going to stay until everyone else had left, so they could have the conversation with wife #2 about arranging a time to all sit down and figure out what she was thinking she was going to get from the passing of my Grampy.
It was about 4 as I headed out and i sent a few texts to some friends in MA, knowing I needed a meeting that night, i needed not to be alone. A good friend texted back about a commitment a group was putting on. She offered to pick me up and we'd all go together. we went to a meeting in wakefield that has over 300 people, and more than 15 of the group members went down to put on the commitment. not being a regular attender of the meeting due to working wednesdays at lowes, i wasn't anticipating being called upon to speak. Also, i wasn't looking to speak, as i just wanted to listen. Sure enough, my god works in strange ways and 2 speakers after the break, my name was called to speak. each member was asked to limit our sharing to 5-7 minutes to allow for as many members to share as possible. I got up, talked about what brought me to AA, and what i've experienced since coming in, working through the steps. I talked about the strong fellowship, of people genuinely caring for one another, so that when I got a call wednesday morning, about my grandfather passing, that my phone had constant texts, voice mails, calls and messages through facebook from people in the program, expressing sympathies, prayers and support. of course the tears began again, and i concluded that i did not share the passing of my grandfather to seek sympathy, but because i was able to get through the entire experience without picking up a drink because I have had others share their experiences of getting through similar situations without needing to drink. only 2 of the 15+ people on the commitment with me that night knew of what I had been going through since wednesday, and it wasn't how i intended to share such news.
After the meeting I went to dinner with two other women, and it was nice. conversation, companionship and consolation on a matter of issues.
sunday i did not want to go to work, and felt I could "play" the death card, but also recognized that avoiding life would not change what had happened. But i didn't want to hear sympathies from co-workers that i only associated with at lowes. The same happened this morning as i woke for work. Again i wanted to call out, to hide in my bed, do sheet therapy. but i got up and went.
people continue to ask how i'm doing. I'm okay. I don't spend every minute or hour thinking about the death of my grandfather. projecting what will be in store for holidays for the family. wishing i had saved my christmas cards from this year, as it will be the last card i'll ever receive from my grampy. so, it's life as normal. it's only when asked by others how i'm doing, or when they come up to me to tell me how sorry they are for me, and asking "were you close to him?" when i think about it and get saddened.
Yes, I was very close to him. I think i was more upset in 2003 when my gram died, because i was so very close to her, but the upset extended beyond his passing to how it affects so many other things now that both of my dad's parents are now no longer with us. But their house was a second home to me. growing up I went there after school before my dad got out of work to do homework. Summers were spent there before going to camp, and after camp. every holiday, family gathering was held there. My dad and all 6 of his siblings were raised there. And when they all got older, got married and had kids, all the grandkids practically grew up there too.
I end this as I began it - this is more for me, for me to process, to record, to acknowledge the events since that phone call at 7:30am on wednesday, than for you.
http://www.asimas.com/ASIMAS/lynchbros/obituaryDescription.jsp?domain_id=244&deceased_id=216319
Raymond A. Marquis
Norway- Raymond A. Marquis age 77 of Harris Hill Road Poland died unexpectedly Tuesday January 12, 2010 at Stephens Memorial Hospital. Born in Lewiston on March 1, 1933 the son of Albert and Antoinette (Beaudry) Marquis. He was educated in Lewiston schools. He worked first as an Electrician at Kerr Electric, in 1970 He founded his own electrical business which he operated until his retirement. Ray maintained an apple orchard for many years at his home in Poland where he resided for fifty years. He met his first wife the former Mary Lou McLellan while roller skating at the Rollodrome, they were married in 1955 and shared 48 years of marriage until her death in 2003. His many hobbies included bowling, deep sea fishing, hunting, boating, woodworking, watching bluebirds and hummingbirds at his home. Ray became nationally known as "The Birdman" after rescuing a hummingbird at his birdfeeder. He enjoyed time at Moxie Lake at the Forks. He loved spending time with his seven children and fourteen grandchildren. He was also involved with coaching the Little League in Poland for many years were his sons played baseball.
He is survived by his wife the former Sandra Dyer of Poland whom he married in 2005 and her son Lucas Smith, also surviving are four sons, Wayne and his wife Patty , Daniel and his wife Sandy, Jeff and his wife Tracey and Mark and his wife Lisa, three daughters, Maureen Marquis, Patricia and her husband Pedro Rojas and Kate and her husband Matt Tufts, three sisters, Cecile Giguere and her husband Gabriel, Jackie and her husband Guy Giguere, and Pauline Schutt, fourteen grandchildren many nieces and nephews.