Independence...
Although last year I (kind of) hosted an Independence Day/shared luncheon thing at school, which was very nice and went over quite well, this year I am too tired and well, squashed, to care much that I didn't do the same thing. I am just SOOOOO ready for the year to be over, yet that will mean that I'm that much closer to the 'big move' to Germany, which makes me sad, as well. Morale is VERY low at school, to the point where I dread going in every morning b/c I wonder what drama will unfold throughout the day. The gossip tree is blooming, and I'm loosing interest rapidly. I just want to chill out and enjoy the kids for a few weeks before I have to say 'good-bye,' but even that has been affected by all the adult silliness!
The good news: the parents have begun to express their thanks with so many kind words that it makes me tear up just to think of them! I haven't told the parents or the children that I'm leaving, yet, b/c I don't feel comfortable doing it and it hasn't been officially announced. I will deal with the 'fall out' when it has been.
The bad news: quite a few parents have either said they are happy for their younger children to come into my class next year or said they hope I will move up with this class. I have dealt with this before, but it doesn't make it any easier! I do tend to get quite attached to my kids, and to my parents! One of the greatest joys about returning to this school last year was getting to see my ex-students and their parents again. I hate it in so many ways that I have to leave once more!!! I care so much about this school and the people involved. I just hate it that things turned out the way they did. This school, like Blackwell, is a sinking ship, at least as far as I'm concerned. I have to jump ship whilst I can. And, I'm obviously not the only one who thinks that: we are losing 4 teachers and at least 4 TA's, at this moment in time. With, I think, more to come.
So, will moving to Germany give me the independence I need, both financially and professionally? I don't know. But, at least I will have a fresh start - again. What did England do for me? It taught me that I can move to another country on my own and make it work. It got me QTS, which can't be taken away from me, and let me know that I can manage to make friends in a foreign country (g) and get through culture shock! I am VERY adaptable, and I am also stronger than I wish to admit.
But also, I have learned that the grass is not always greener, and that every country (region) has it's own issues. And, that paradise doesn't exist (obvious, I know, but I really think that I felt that England was quite perfect in the beginning, or at least I forgave a lot. I've seen the other side, now.). Germany won't be perfect, and now I don't expect that, but it is another step on the ladder that I have chosen to climb. I won't be the same after teaching two years there, just as I'm not the same as I was when I first arrived here in 2002. And, I've grown as a professional to the point where I'm beginning to get a bit more demanding of what I want, and what I expect, out of my career.
So, as of today, I am announcing my independence from England...although, not from the kindness of the wonderful people I have met, here, nor from the beauty of the English countryside, nor from the city of my heart that is Londonium, nor from the children who have touched my soul...
My ancestors came from England, as well as from Ireland and Germany. I have experienced one of those countries, and now I am off to experience another. I will be back to England as much as I can - it will always be in my heart and soul, and I still have so much to see.
I announce my independence, yet I will hold England in my heart. For, truth be told, she has been the closest thing to a real home that I have ever had.
Close your eyes and think of England...
I shall!
;)
The good news: the parents have begun to express their thanks with so many kind words that it makes me tear up just to think of them! I haven't told the parents or the children that I'm leaving, yet, b/c I don't feel comfortable doing it and it hasn't been officially announced. I will deal with the 'fall out' when it has been.
The bad news: quite a few parents have either said they are happy for their younger children to come into my class next year or said they hope I will move up with this class. I have dealt with this before, but it doesn't make it any easier! I do tend to get quite attached to my kids, and to my parents! One of the greatest joys about returning to this school last year was getting to see my ex-students and their parents again. I hate it in so many ways that I have to leave once more!!! I care so much about this school and the people involved. I just hate it that things turned out the way they did. This school, like Blackwell, is a sinking ship, at least as far as I'm concerned. I have to jump ship whilst I can. And, I'm obviously not the only one who thinks that: we are losing 4 teachers and at least 4 TA's, at this moment in time. With, I think, more to come.
So, will moving to Germany give me the independence I need, both financially and professionally? I don't know. But, at least I will have a fresh start - again. What did England do for me? It taught me that I can move to another country on my own and make it work. It got me QTS, which can't be taken away from me, and let me know that I can manage to make friends in a foreign country (g) and get through culture shock! I am VERY adaptable, and I am also stronger than I wish to admit.
But also, I have learned that the grass is not always greener, and that every country (region) has it's own issues. And, that paradise doesn't exist (obvious, I know, but I really think that I felt that England was quite perfect in the beginning, or at least I forgave a lot. I've seen the other side, now.). Germany won't be perfect, and now I don't expect that, but it is another step on the ladder that I have chosen to climb. I won't be the same after teaching two years there, just as I'm not the same as I was when I first arrived here in 2002. And, I've grown as a professional to the point where I'm beginning to get a bit more demanding of what I want, and what I expect, out of my career.
So, as of today, I am announcing my independence from England...although, not from the kindness of the wonderful people I have met, here, nor from the beauty of the English countryside, nor from the city of my heart that is Londonium, nor from the children who have touched my soul...
My ancestors came from England, as well as from Ireland and Germany. I have experienced one of those countries, and now I am off to experience another. I will be back to England as much as I can - it will always be in my heart and soul, and I still have so much to see.
I announce my independence, yet I will hold England in my heart. For, truth be told, she has been the closest thing to a real home that I have ever had.
Close your eyes and think of England...
I shall!
;)