Life is like a got milk commercial - i swear it!

[frodo_lives_on]

Whats new, what new...lets see...i've established that i will be alone for the rest of my life! yea! Just me and my kitten sitting in a corner playig with fake mice. But maybe i will open that book shop i always talk about. i wouldlove to do something like that. damn. i practically already could with all the books piled up in my house (some of them have even moved into the closet because there's n more room on the bookcase). Christmas sucks. This time of year is so stupid. i mean, it has a great potential to be good and fun and happy, but instead its dull and full of woe. i think i would enjoy it more if i could get out of my own head (of if stores could just stop pushing it so fucking much). I havn't seen many people happy this year, and that bothers me. it makes me unhappy. its just that we have to keep pushing ourselves to be a certain way. or atleast i feel that. im always left feeling unattractive, unlovable, and fat. fat fat fat (to quote edina monsoon). And I know there is nothing wrong with that. i know! but that doesn't make it any easier. and so many oher things. people say i'm pretty, then it must be my personality. i migh be too mean. am i too sarcastic? fuck that. i need to be sarcastic, or what the hells the point? blah blah blah. complian complain complain. is it lack of planning? am i just not able to talk to people? how do you talk to people you like? ive never been able to do that. i alwys focus my sttention inward. so in my head there are one thousand things going on of what should i say? what should i do? i'll sound stupid if i say i like him. ill tel him i like him and then things will get weird. and i dont want things to get weird. and i dont want people to talk about me. id that my fear? social rejection? probably.

blah blah blah. complaints. blah. insecurities. blah.

sometimes
i feel like
im s
i
n
k
i
n
g
n o h g o n
i t t e r u d