mindoverload
i have so much stuff on my mind that i can't sleep and im sooo tired all day.
the other day i was falling asleep driving to work...not good.
i know there are things i can do to try and fix some of my problems, but i just feel so overwhelmed. its like i cant just tackle one thing cause my mind is everywhere.
i know that my health is probably on the back burner right now. it's like i dont have time to eat so i hardly do. i went 2 days this week only eating one meal a day.,,,and that is not good. and it's not that im not hungry, its that i just dont have time. i know ive probably lost like 6lbs since i got with Lance. when i worked at my business i was there alot, so i would eat all day long. but then i starting working for Acosta and i would go without eating so i could finish faster and leave work earlier. once i worked a 16 hour shift with no food break....
and now with this job i have, i cant really eat because i was have something to do, or we're busy.
i just wish i had someone to make me food, or bring me food. its so exhausting...food. like my sister lives with her baby at my parents house and like my mom is the one that cooks and washes. if i lived with my mom i'd always have something to eat...but im not going to do that. and the way the economy is, food is way expensive. i mean i buy lunch for lance and the kids coming from work, then i buy something for dinner or buy food to make. its just really expensive. i try to not get something for myself so i dnt spend alot of money on take out.
so then i still have to make myself some pasta or whatever is easier, or i wait till im making something for lance to eat, or buy. and i know i can only blame myself...but come on who the hell wants to come home and still make something to eat....
it's something i have to get used to..i miss my grandmas cooking =(
and then i have to think about bills, it's like i never have enough money. i dont go on shopping sprees, dont get my nails done, dont buys anything unless it's for the house, Lance and the kids or Isis. im spose to take Isis to the vet to get her a skin scrapping. but that costs $20 plus the dang office visit which is $45. i just dont have the money. i mean i got paid $400..and the following is what it went towards;
-$45 to my dang bank for a stupid overdraft fee
-$96 for the cable and internet
-$36 at walmart for some groceries
-$25 for some check i wrote
-$20 for gas
-$30 at walmart again for isis pee pads and other isis things
-$35 petsmart for Isis food
i have like $30 left and and the rest of it went towards food or misc. that i cant think of right now.
and my dad thinks i like throw money away on crap! how the hell am i spose to live and eat if i dont spend money on what i need.
im just sooo tired of thinking about money...sometimes im like..if i died i wouldn't have to pay anything...dnt worry im not going to jump off a building.
i wish i could get dressed up to go to work, i wish i had more money, i wish i could win the lottery, i wish i could just go to school and not have to work...
i dont knw what has to change, but something defitnately has to. i cant keep spending money on fast food and what not. i have to think of something...and quick
well i have to go return a harness that didnt was too small for Isis and find a large size. get Meghn a pencil sharpener, go to frys and get some chicken cause its on sale. and then come back and cook it so i can eat cause im starving. and then keep doing loads of laundrya nd wash the dishes. and then go to sleep...its my daily life cycle routine
by the by, Isis is 5 1/2 months old and she weighs 50lbs...our vet said she would only weigh between 50-55...i dont think thats going to happen..She is soo Darn Cute. Shes my little baby ;=)...i still remember when we got her, only 3 1/2 weeks old so i had to feed her every 3 hours...around the clock. i dnt miss those sleepless night. but i am very attached to her cause she is like my baby. i had to make her formula and play with her and make sure she went potty and fell back alseep. she was so tiny =}
k i really gots to be going now...
other stuff on my mind is the whole kendrah thing...i have no choice in the matter so its not worth the time in explaining it. something i have to live with.
the other day i was falling asleep driving to work...not good.
i know there are things i can do to try and fix some of my problems, but i just feel so overwhelmed. its like i cant just tackle one thing cause my mind is everywhere.
i know that my health is probably on the back burner right now. it's like i dont have time to eat so i hardly do. i went 2 days this week only eating one meal a day.,,,and that is not good. and it's not that im not hungry, its that i just dont have time. i know ive probably lost like 6lbs since i got with Lance. when i worked at my business i was there alot, so i would eat all day long. but then i starting working for Acosta and i would go without eating so i could finish faster and leave work earlier. once i worked a 16 hour shift with no food break....
and now with this job i have, i cant really eat because i was have something to do, or we're busy.
i just wish i had someone to make me food, or bring me food. its so exhausting...food. like my sister lives with her baby at my parents house and like my mom is the one that cooks and washes. if i lived with my mom i'd always have something to eat...but im not going to do that. and the way the economy is, food is way expensive. i mean i buy lunch for lance and the kids coming from work, then i buy something for dinner or buy food to make. its just really expensive. i try to not get something for myself so i dnt spend alot of money on take out.
so then i still have to make myself some pasta or whatever is easier, or i wait till im making something for lance to eat, or buy. and i know i can only blame myself...but come on who the hell wants to come home and still make something to eat....
it's something i have to get used to..i miss my grandmas cooking =(
and then i have to think about bills, it's like i never have enough money. i dont go on shopping sprees, dont get my nails done, dont buys anything unless it's for the house, Lance and the kids or Isis. im spose to take Isis to the vet to get her a skin scrapping. but that costs $20 plus the dang office visit which is $45. i just dont have the money. i mean i got paid $400..and the following is what it went towards;
-$45 to my dang bank for a stupid overdraft fee
-$96 for the cable and internet
-$36 at walmart for some groceries
-$25 for some check i wrote
-$20 for gas
-$30 at walmart again for isis pee pads and other isis things
-$35 petsmart for Isis food
i have like $30 left and and the rest of it went towards food or misc. that i cant think of right now.
and my dad thinks i like throw money away on crap! how the hell am i spose to live and eat if i dont spend money on what i need.
im just sooo tired of thinking about money...sometimes im like..if i died i wouldn't have to pay anything...dnt worry im not going to jump off a building.
i wish i could get dressed up to go to work, i wish i had more money, i wish i could win the lottery, i wish i could just go to school and not have to work...
i dont knw what has to change, but something defitnately has to. i cant keep spending money on fast food and what not. i have to think of something...and quick
well i have to go return a harness that didnt was too small for Isis and find a large size. get Meghn a pencil sharpener, go to frys and get some chicken cause its on sale. and then come back and cook it so i can eat cause im starving. and then keep doing loads of laundrya nd wash the dishes. and then go to sleep...its my daily life cycle routine
by the by, Isis is 5 1/2 months old and she weighs 50lbs...our vet said she would only weigh between 50-55...i dont think thats going to happen..She is soo Darn Cute. Shes my little baby ;=)...i still remember when we got her, only 3 1/2 weeks old so i had to feed her every 3 hours...around the clock. i dnt miss those sleepless night. but i am very attached to her cause she is like my baby. i had to make her formula and play with her and make sure she went potty and fell back alseep. she was so tiny =}
k i really gots to be going now...
other stuff on my mind is the whole kendrah thing...i have no choice in the matter so its not worth the time in explaining it. something i have to live with.