(no subject)
I can't focus on anything school related. Not even a moderately interesting essay about the American Dream in my Riverside Reader book (comp and comm). If there was anything I would be able to pay attention to, it'd be that. But lo and behold, my mind is drifting. Not just because of my crippling case of senioritis, but other factors as well.
I've been sitting here for several minutes now thinking about what adjective would describe my weekend. Nothing fits. Not even tumultuous, which is odd considering. You'd think that if nothing else summed it up, then tumultuous would, considering its meaning. Maybe I'm just being too picky in trying to come up with a perfect adjective and that just isn't possible.
That whole last paragraph was inane and dumb. I apologize.
Friday I went to get my haircut. That thing with Gisela that I mentioned happened. It only further fueled my thoughts on a particular issue. I keep thinking about how I'm sick of being a teenager. I'm sick of relishing all the drama and being so damned insecure. I hate it. I'm just enough in my teenage years to be involved in these activities, but just enough out of them to at points understand just how silly it really is. And on the insecurity bit: everyone keeps telling me how I'm just so pretty or smart or cute or funny or blah blah blah. And I just can't believe them. I try to. I really really try to. And I tell myself, why would so many people be saying it on their own accord, no compliment fishing invovled, if it wasn't true. But still, I'm 17 and it wont sink in. I hate that.
I'm also a terrible person who just bought my mother a mother's day card. Yes, at 3:00 in the afternoon of Mother's Day itself. I remembered the date, trust me. Its hard to forget any holidays, even the most unimportant ones, since "have a good *insert next holiday here*!" is the go to goodbye for all the stylists with clients they don't know that well. I have witnessed about ten thousand "have a great mothers day!"s in the past week. Kill me. But I just kept putting off the actual card buying process. And then I had to say I was going to the library (which I was) and my mom totally knew and I'm just an asshole.
Friday Dwight called me. Only it was his roommates girlfriend Shelly on his phone. He apparantly had instructed her to call me and invite me over because they were having some people over and there was some mention of a fellow named Matt and itd "be cool if you guys met". I wasn't too keen on going over there (learned my lesson) so I told her I'd see what was going on and let them know. They were unaware I was with Julianne at the time. So about 20 seconds after hanging up with me, Dwight calls Julianne. Only its actually him on his phone (why he didn't talk to me, but to her, I don't quite know and don't quite care). She talked to him for a couple of minutes and apparantly got the same shpiel I did plus the fact that Dwight was looking to set me up with this matt kid. Despite myself, I was moderately intrigued. So later that night when Emily and I were on our way to the movies for a double feature of Just My Luck and Art School Confidential, I called him back. I was awkward like I always am and said, "so whats this I hear about you wanting to set me up with your friend?". And I was awkward some more and asked him WHY he thought I would like matt and vise versa. He said "why not" and "lets just say he's better than I am". So maybe he's only been arrested a dozen times. That'd be nice. But I told him I already had plans with Emily and that I didn't exactly love his roommates so I didn't want to go over there but they were welcome to join us. Only they had already started drinking so that was a no go. But I told him if he really wanted me to meet the matt kid he should call me the next day. Oh yeah, I'm also an asshole who in a smarmy way said it'd have to be in public. There was no phone call the next day.
Gosh I'm a jerk. An awkward jerk at that.
Whatever. Just My Luck wound up being cute in a dont take it so seriously kind of way. People got kicked out of our theatre or something. There was some ruckus a couple rows in front of us. Art School Confidential was good, but I have no idea why. It was EXTREMELY weird, but Nick Swardson was in it and he stole all of his scenes and I loved him and the lead actor was BEAUTIFUL. I just wanted to stare at him the whole time. It wasn't like a "whoa, I wanna bang that guy". It was just like a mezmerized staring.
Yesterday I worked. And it was a long day. After which I napped, watched some America's Next Top Model and then Emily and I rented Match Point (all we do is watch movies, if you couldn't already tell). She fell dead asleep and I thought it was okay.
Today I watched some Gilmore Girls on DVD and it was awesome. Gotta love my favorite show commercial free. Now I'm trying to compel myself to do some homework.
I also went on a book binge and put TWELVE books on hold at the library. In addition to the other ones already on hold. It was kind of sickening.
I've been sitting here for several minutes now thinking about what adjective would describe my weekend. Nothing fits. Not even tumultuous, which is odd considering. You'd think that if nothing else summed it up, then tumultuous would, considering its meaning. Maybe I'm just being too picky in trying to come up with a perfect adjective and that just isn't possible.
That whole last paragraph was inane and dumb. I apologize.
Friday I went to get my haircut. That thing with Gisela that I mentioned happened. It only further fueled my thoughts on a particular issue. I keep thinking about how I'm sick of being a teenager. I'm sick of relishing all the drama and being so damned insecure. I hate it. I'm just enough in my teenage years to be involved in these activities, but just enough out of them to at points understand just how silly it really is. And on the insecurity bit: everyone keeps telling me how I'm just so pretty or smart or cute or funny or blah blah blah. And I just can't believe them. I try to. I really really try to. And I tell myself, why would so many people be saying it on their own accord, no compliment fishing invovled, if it wasn't true. But still, I'm 17 and it wont sink in. I hate that.
I'm also a terrible person who just bought my mother a mother's day card. Yes, at 3:00 in the afternoon of Mother's Day itself. I remembered the date, trust me. Its hard to forget any holidays, even the most unimportant ones, since "have a good *insert next holiday here*!" is the go to goodbye for all the stylists with clients they don't know that well. I have witnessed about ten thousand "have a great mothers day!"s in the past week. Kill me. But I just kept putting off the actual card buying process. And then I had to say I was going to the library (which I was) and my mom totally knew and I'm just an asshole.
Friday Dwight called me. Only it was his roommates girlfriend Shelly on his phone. He apparantly had instructed her to call me and invite me over because they were having some people over and there was some mention of a fellow named Matt and itd "be cool if you guys met". I wasn't too keen on going over there (learned my lesson) so I told her I'd see what was going on and let them know. They were unaware I was with Julianne at the time. So about 20 seconds after hanging up with me, Dwight calls Julianne. Only its actually him on his phone (why he didn't talk to me, but to her, I don't quite know and don't quite care). She talked to him for a couple of minutes and apparantly got the same shpiel I did plus the fact that Dwight was looking to set me up with this matt kid. Despite myself, I was moderately intrigued. So later that night when Emily and I were on our way to the movies for a double feature of Just My Luck and Art School Confidential, I called him back. I was awkward like I always am and said, "so whats this I hear about you wanting to set me up with your friend?". And I was awkward some more and asked him WHY he thought I would like matt and vise versa. He said "why not" and "lets just say he's better than I am". So maybe he's only been arrested a dozen times. That'd be nice. But I told him I already had plans with Emily and that I didn't exactly love his roommates so I didn't want to go over there but they were welcome to join us. Only they had already started drinking so that was a no go. But I told him if he really wanted me to meet the matt kid he should call me the next day. Oh yeah, I'm also an asshole who in a smarmy way said it'd have to be in public. There was no phone call the next day.
Gosh I'm a jerk. An awkward jerk at that.
Whatever. Just My Luck wound up being cute in a dont take it so seriously kind of way. People got kicked out of our theatre or something. There was some ruckus a couple rows in front of us. Art School Confidential was good, but I have no idea why. It was EXTREMELY weird, but Nick Swardson was in it and he stole all of his scenes and I loved him and the lead actor was BEAUTIFUL. I just wanted to stare at him the whole time. It wasn't like a "whoa, I wanna bang that guy". It was just like a mezmerized staring.
Yesterday I worked. And it was a long day. After which I napped, watched some America's Next Top Model and then Emily and I rented Match Point (all we do is watch movies, if you couldn't already tell). She fell dead asleep and I thought it was okay.
Today I watched some Gilmore Girls on DVD and it was awesome. Gotta love my favorite show commercial free. Now I'm trying to compel myself to do some homework.
I also went on a book binge and put TWELVE books on hold at the library. In addition to the other ones already on hold. It was kind of sickening.