~No More~
Worked 5-10 and had to close by myself tonight. My muscles ache. I came home and {he} was on the phone, so I went about my business. I proceeded to the living room and tried to fall asleep and failed miserably. {He} came in and said some things, then said, "Oh yea. Thanks for that note you left on my car the other day. I read it that morning. I really appreciate it." ...I wasn't so much disappointed because I knew what his response was going to be, I was just...I'm glad that we can stay friends, basically. Sure, I hate the fact that someone as wonderful as him is so out of my league, BUT I have the rest of my life and blahblah. I am losing touch with Christ and in doing so am losing touch with reality. I bawled my eyes out last night. All the pressure and stress from everything just kind of burst out. I went out on the porch to cry, so that I wouldnt wake {him} up. Part of me wanted him to come downstairs and comfort me in my moment of pain. Alas, I seem to not be allowed such a privilege. I am pretty sick and tired of being the only Christian my age. I'm sure there are many out there, just like me, who are doing "better" in their walk, but I can't do it alone. I can't grow as a young Christian without other young Christians to talk to. I know I need to rely on God, but there are things that have to be spoken to people about. *groan*
Will be spending the day at the unit tomorrow. I bought PVT (maybe he got promoted recently, I dunno) Winder a pumpkin pie, because last year at the Thanksgiving dinner, I ate a whole one right in front of him. It was hilarious. He kept whining and junk. So I figured I'd be nice and buy him his own whole pumpkin pie. *sigh*
Help me up, push me down. Speak kind words, backstab me. Will you ever see the pain it causes me? Is my pain that important? Then, why? Why do you hate me so?
Will be spending the day at the unit tomorrow. I bought PVT (maybe he got promoted recently, I dunno) Winder a pumpkin pie, because last year at the Thanksgiving dinner, I ate a whole one right in front of him. It was hilarious. He kept whining and junk. So I figured I'd be nice and buy him his own whole pumpkin pie. *sigh*
Help me up, push me down. Speak kind words, backstab me. Will you ever see the pain it causes me? Is my pain that important? Then, why? Why do you hate me so?