Running For Your Life
Yesterday I bought a salad on my way to my monthly meeting downtown. As I rounded the corner at G Street NW the entire street was blocked off by police tape and about 40 police cars. People were huddling around somewhere around 8th street in their business suits. I figured it was some kind of Presidential pit stop (the kind of thing we see frequently in DC).
I later found out it was the shooting at the Family Research Council.
I freely admit that I had mixed emotions about this when I found out the news. My initial thoughts were wondering how severe it was, if any of their national level spokespeople were injured, and whether or not it was related to their deeply, DEEPLY anti-gay politics. As it turned out, the only person who was injured was the security guard on duty, and no further injuries happened. For that I'm thankful. I don't wish violence or death upon these people, even if I would not mourn the loss. And, as it further turned out, it was in fact related to their anti-gay politics. The shooter was a volunteer at the DC Center, the LGBT community center here in town, and if the stories online are correct he was carrying a Chick-Fil-A bag. So, yeah, it was pretty obvious where that was going.
One of my friends said that this guy "has done more to advance the homophobes cause than any BGLTQ activist has ever been or will ever be able to do to advance our cause." I had to think about that for a long time, and ultimately I came to the conclusion that, no, this wasn't going to matter in the long range of things. The wheels continue to advance, no matter what the talking heads keep babbling. And as I thought about it more I realized that this kind of outcome is inevitable for some people, because being gay in this country is about living in a pressure cooker, and that changes people.
Heterosexual people live in a world of privilege. Privilege that sometimes is a thousand little papercuts to gay people. Or to be slightly more precise 1,138+ little papercuts. The worldview of organizations like the Family Research Council, the American Family Association, and the National Organization for Marriage is that they are defending traditional definitions of Family under their notion of religious Faith. They use this rhetoric of suppression of religious freedom to try and maintain what essentially amounts to a heterosupremacist world view. This privilege also, sometimes, leads to groups like the Family Research Council to lobby congress to quash a resolution condemning the execution of homosexual people in Uganda. Let's be clear, they wanted to stop a public denouncement of a Ugandan bill that was colloquially called the "Kill the Gays" bill, because to not condemn execution is exactly the same thing as "promoting a homosexual agenda." Basically, being gay is reason enough to be put to death.
In this country gay people have made great strides in advancing the causes of equal rights. But being gay in this country is, for many people, still about living in a perpetual state of fear that someday someone is going to turn and look at you and want to kill you.
I know.
I survived two attempted gay bashings by running and thankfully having access to a car. Both times in my hometown, both times for no reason whatsoever. The first time I was playing pool with some friends, two guys, two girls, and apparently this was so incongruous that some redneck girl came up and asked my friend Laura "Are your boyfriends gay?" A mighty laugh was had, and the answer given was "why would we be dating them if they were gay?" So they met us in the parking lot. We fucking fled. The second time I was having dinner with a friend who had just gotten back from his first year in the Marines. Over dinner these guys at a table across the room started throwing things at us because we looked queer. And in the parking lot, again, they came after us. So we hauled out of there, and we were chased through dozens of backstreets and country roads until we could find a place far enough away that we could zoom into a wooded area, watch them zoom past us and reverse tracks to home. To date I have never been injured, but I have had to run for my life. If I hadn't, I probably would have been killed then and there. If you've never been chased by people who want to kill you, you just don't know.
Some kids, as they begin to realize their personal feelings, fear this outcome so much, and feel so much pressure and disgust from their peers, parents, and the public, that they just kill themselves to avoid living in that state of terror.
I know.
I nearly did it myself.
Some people when subjected to this kind of pressure go negative. They drink. They get depressive. They get angry and self-destructive or suicidal. In this case, he turned violent and homicidal. Other people when subjected to this pressure go positive. They reject the narrative. They change the paradigm. They look to the positive things they can do to actively make the world a better place. They stand up to bullies, bashers, and executioners and say "I'm just going to go on being my fabulous self. DEAL."
On August 4th they held the first official gay pride parade in Uganda. In a country, where you can be publicly outed, and people will come, abduct you in the night, and kill you for being gay (see the story of David Kato), they had a pride parade. This is the reason we have Pride as a recurring event. It's not about dance music, vodka, and lube (as Capital Pride may seem so overwhelmingly to be about). It's about making a positive statement about the role of queer people. It's about claiming our place in society and saying "YES! We are here. We are with you. We love each other. We love you! We want to share this awesomeness with you! Have fun, Be happy, Love each other!" That's the narrative I live. And that's the world I want to live in.
I later found out it was the shooting at the Family Research Council.
I freely admit that I had mixed emotions about this when I found out the news. My initial thoughts were wondering how severe it was, if any of their national level spokespeople were injured, and whether or not it was related to their deeply, DEEPLY anti-gay politics. As it turned out, the only person who was injured was the security guard on duty, and no further injuries happened. For that I'm thankful. I don't wish violence or death upon these people, even if I would not mourn the loss. And, as it further turned out, it was in fact related to their anti-gay politics. The shooter was a volunteer at the DC Center, the LGBT community center here in town, and if the stories online are correct he was carrying a Chick-Fil-A bag. So, yeah, it was pretty obvious where that was going.
One of my friends said that this guy "has done more to advance the homophobes cause than any BGLTQ activist has ever been or will ever be able to do to advance our cause." I had to think about that for a long time, and ultimately I came to the conclusion that, no, this wasn't going to matter in the long range of things. The wheels continue to advance, no matter what the talking heads keep babbling. And as I thought about it more I realized that this kind of outcome is inevitable for some people, because being gay in this country is about living in a pressure cooker, and that changes people.
Heterosexual people live in a world of privilege. Privilege that sometimes is a thousand little papercuts to gay people. Or to be slightly more precise 1,138+ little papercuts. The worldview of organizations like the Family Research Council, the American Family Association, and the National Organization for Marriage is that they are defending traditional definitions of Family under their notion of religious Faith. They use this rhetoric of suppression of religious freedom to try and maintain what essentially amounts to a heterosupremacist world view. This privilege also, sometimes, leads to groups like the Family Research Council to lobby congress to quash a resolution condemning the execution of homosexual people in Uganda. Let's be clear, they wanted to stop a public denouncement of a Ugandan bill that was colloquially called the "Kill the Gays" bill, because to not condemn execution is exactly the same thing as "promoting a homosexual agenda." Basically, being gay is reason enough to be put to death.
In this country gay people have made great strides in advancing the causes of equal rights. But being gay in this country is, for many people, still about living in a perpetual state of fear that someday someone is going to turn and look at you and want to kill you.
I know.
I survived two attempted gay bashings by running and thankfully having access to a car. Both times in my hometown, both times for no reason whatsoever. The first time I was playing pool with some friends, two guys, two girls, and apparently this was so incongruous that some redneck girl came up and asked my friend Laura "Are your boyfriends gay?" A mighty laugh was had, and the answer given was "why would we be dating them if they were gay?" So they met us in the parking lot. We fucking fled. The second time I was having dinner with a friend who had just gotten back from his first year in the Marines. Over dinner these guys at a table across the room started throwing things at us because we looked queer. And in the parking lot, again, they came after us. So we hauled out of there, and we were chased through dozens of backstreets and country roads until we could find a place far enough away that we could zoom into a wooded area, watch them zoom past us and reverse tracks to home. To date I have never been injured, but I have had to run for my life. If I hadn't, I probably would have been killed then and there. If you've never been chased by people who want to kill you, you just don't know.
Some kids, as they begin to realize their personal feelings, fear this outcome so much, and feel so much pressure and disgust from their peers, parents, and the public, that they just kill themselves to avoid living in that state of terror.
I know.
I nearly did it myself.
Some people when subjected to this kind of pressure go negative. They drink. They get depressive. They get angry and self-destructive or suicidal. In this case, he turned violent and homicidal. Other people when subjected to this pressure go positive. They reject the narrative. They change the paradigm. They look to the positive things they can do to actively make the world a better place. They stand up to bullies, bashers, and executioners and say "I'm just going to go on being my fabulous self. DEAL."
On August 4th they held the first official gay pride parade in Uganda. In a country, where you can be publicly outed, and people will come, abduct you in the night, and kill you for being gay (see the story of David Kato), they had a pride parade. This is the reason we have Pride as a recurring event. It's not about dance music, vodka, and lube (as Capital Pride may seem so overwhelmingly to be about). It's about making a positive statement about the role of queer people. It's about claiming our place in society and saying "YES! We are here. We are with you. We love each other. We love you! We want to share this awesomeness with you! Have fun, Be happy, Love each other!" That's the narrative I live. And that's the world I want to live in.