im sorry
i apoligize if my current mood has affected anyone... ive been feeling so empty and it is no one's fault but my own i guess. well i dont think empty is the word. i think i just miss the way things used to be. and i cant really assign "used to be" to any specific time period. just times where i could be happy. times where i did not have to worry about bills, and food, and education, and i didnt have to watch people hurt because of others, and i did not hurt because of what people do, or dont do, it jsut hurts so much to watch people not do what they are supposed to do. people are supposed to help others, not screw them into the ground, they are supposed to protect them and if they really care about them make that they have every thing that they need or want (reasonably) and they are supposed to do every thing in their power to make sure that the people they care about get every thing that they deserve. a person should not have to watch everyone they love hurt. and a person should not have to hurt because they did not get what they rightfully deserved, and hate some of the people they love because of it, or because they have it and you dont. it hurts. it makes a person hate themselves when they are jealous of people they respect and love because they have something that you work so hard for and long for, and they dont have to try at all, and it also maked that person hate the people they love for it. no one should have to feel like this. people should not fuck other people to make their life a little better or easier, because they dont know how that will affect the other person. people should not take things out on other people who have nothing to do with something like its their fault. a person cant take it anymore after a while. a person loses hope and then they hate themselves for that. becasue then they turn into the people that they hate becasue that is all they knwo because they never had any good in their lives to learn from. all they had is pain and hurt, and disappointment...