Shattered Glass, Memorial Balloons & Sleep-Deprivation
Christmas is over.
Just in case anyone missed that point.
Holidays are very odd to me. I get strangely lonely leading up to them. For some reason, riding home in the wee hours of the morning, looking at the few houses still burning their Christmas lights in the gathering fog, somber music (yes, I always choose somber music during these times) playing on the stereo, I feel as though I am the only person in the world. The day of events always seem like muted echoes of past times, I would say Ghosts of Christmas' Past but I'm not crazy over Dickens. The overwhelming enthusiasm of childhood taunts me. But then I am saddened once it is completed. I feel as though "that's it" for the year. The hope of something special or magical that I refused to admit had taken up residence in my subconscious has, once more, passed unfulfilled. And, after New Years, there is nothing but a long, snowless winter before the next BIG holiday. Blah. The only good thing is that I remained insanely busy to keep the benumbed thoughts at bay. I am SO ready for a change, something new, something different. I say these things (type, technically) and yet I do nothing to begin that change. The thought arises again of moving up to the NC mountains and doing the Bed & Breakfast thing, writing four hours a day and then ... living. I know the people, have the access, have part of the money. Janetta is willing to go. Perhaps that should be my New Year's resolution: a move. It seems destined to happen one way or another. If I stay here, I am expected to run my own location SOON. I have already passed on about 6 deals. Who knows? Anyway, I am off Wednesday thru Monday. Maybe I'll have some answers then. Or I will fill my days with chaos to keep from thinking about it. Either way.
PS - I'll be in Denver at the end of the month. At least it's a city I LIKE this time.
Just in case anyone missed that point.
Holidays are very odd to me. I get strangely lonely leading up to them. For some reason, riding home in the wee hours of the morning, looking at the few houses still burning their Christmas lights in the gathering fog, somber music (yes, I always choose somber music during these times) playing on the stereo, I feel as though I am the only person in the world. The day of events always seem like muted echoes of past times, I would say Ghosts of Christmas' Past but I'm not crazy over Dickens. The overwhelming enthusiasm of childhood taunts me. But then I am saddened once it is completed. I feel as though "that's it" for the year. The hope of something special or magical that I refused to admit had taken up residence in my subconscious has, once more, passed unfulfilled. And, after New Years, there is nothing but a long, snowless winter before the next BIG holiday. Blah. The only good thing is that I remained insanely busy to keep the benumbed thoughts at bay. I am SO ready for a change, something new, something different. I say these things (type, technically) and yet I do nothing to begin that change. The thought arises again of moving up to the NC mountains and doing the Bed & Breakfast thing, writing four hours a day and then ... living. I know the people, have the access, have part of the money. Janetta is willing to go. Perhaps that should be my New Year's resolution: a move. It seems destined to happen one way or another. If I stay here, I am expected to run my own location SOON. I have already passed on about 6 deals. Who knows? Anyway, I am off Wednesday thru Monday. Maybe I'll have some answers then. Or I will fill my days with chaos to keep from thinking about it. Either way.
PS - I'll be in Denver at the end of the month. At least it's a city I LIKE this time.