true_writers: amen [ch. 2.18.A]
[In the name of the Father...]
[[ the Son and the Holy Spirit…amen. ]]
It's been a very long time since I've actually taken a step inside of somewhere spiritual, let alone a church. I wasn't raised religious, wasn't baptized or sent off to bible school. My parents could have cared less really. My Dad worked construction in Brooklyn when I was born, and soon afterwards my parents got a divorce. Mom said it's because my Dad couldn't keep it in his damned pants, and he argues saying it had to do with her drinking.
Her drinking. That's why when I enter the local Catholic church, I'm sweating bullets, because I entered the door with my gingered head down. I felt ashamed. I am ashamed. My Mom is the dearest person to me, and here I am, at thirty-three praying for her soul. I should've done this a long, long time ago. Once again, I'm not a religious person, but I can feel God staring me down with the evil eye - he's pointing and asking me why I didn't come sooner. Why didn't I? My Mom is dying - what if I had come a lot earlier, would her soul have been saved from damnation?
This place gives me the heebee geebees, I can feel people staring at me - and I'm quick to blame it on my frazzled appearance and bright red hair (so bright it almost glows in this place). It reeks of burnt candles in this place, and I hear the hushed tones of people praying as I pass the wooden pews. This is scaring me, truly scaring me, I'm not sure what to do. How do you pray? How do you ask for forgiveness? Is there some sort of form you have to sign - a waiver? I don't know, I'm confused.
"Gloria Patri, et Filio, et Spiritui Sancto." I hear from behind me, and I lurch forward in surprise as I'm being led towards the alter where there are a select few on their knees, praying. I almost want to turn around and run, run far, far away from here - my Moms soul can be redeemed some other way, right? I can donate money or something, right?
Crap. I'm shoved to my knees next to an old woman, who cracks open an eye, scoffs and goes back to praying in some weird language. I look up at the large crucifixion in front of me - it's incredibly eerie, makes me want to run away, that guy doesn't look too happy. Not sure what to do, I mimic the others next to me by clasping my hands and bowing my head. The priest that shoved me to the front sprinkles those in front of him with Holy Water - I shiver as it touches my skin. I can almost feel it burn, hear God saying `That's what you get. That's what you get for not saving your Mother.`
I shudder, more so outwardly than inwardly, causing the old lady next to me to huff angrily, rising to her feet and then she disappears into the dark abyss that is the church. I can hear people muttering around me, I just can't see them, and it freaks me out...Unsure of what to do, I close my eyes as tight as I possibly can and pray that my Mom would live longer than a year, that she'd be around to see me get married (yeah, right) and that she'd also see grandchildren (another yeah, right).
“In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit…amen.” I whisper below my breath, feeling like a total idiot. I obviously failed at googling this before I came, which makes me sound like a moron. The person next to me starts to cry and I'm unsure of what I'm supposed to do, but I can feel the same emotions swirling in my head. She's dying, and here I am, being pathetic...
I quickly rise to my feet, tears filling my eyes as I stumble into the darkness of the church.
Muse: Lou Turner
Fandom: Original Character
Word Count: 664
[[ the Son and the Holy Spirit…amen. ]]
It's been a very long time since I've actually taken a step inside of somewhere spiritual, let alone a church. I wasn't raised religious, wasn't baptized or sent off to bible school. My parents could have cared less really. My Dad worked construction in Brooklyn when I was born, and soon afterwards my parents got a divorce. Mom said it's because my Dad couldn't keep it in his damned pants, and he argues saying it had to do with her drinking.
Her drinking. That's why when I enter the local Catholic church, I'm sweating bullets, because I entered the door with my gingered head down. I felt ashamed. I am ashamed. My Mom is the dearest person to me, and here I am, at thirty-three praying for her soul. I should've done this a long, long time ago. Once again, I'm not a religious person, but I can feel God staring me down with the evil eye - he's pointing and asking me why I didn't come sooner. Why didn't I? My Mom is dying - what if I had come a lot earlier, would her soul have been saved from damnation?
This place gives me the heebee geebees, I can feel people staring at me - and I'm quick to blame it on my frazzled appearance and bright red hair (so bright it almost glows in this place). It reeks of burnt candles in this place, and I hear the hushed tones of people praying as I pass the wooden pews. This is scaring me, truly scaring me, I'm not sure what to do. How do you pray? How do you ask for forgiveness? Is there some sort of form you have to sign - a waiver? I don't know, I'm confused.
"Gloria Patri, et Filio, et Spiritui Sancto." I hear from behind me, and I lurch forward in surprise as I'm being led towards the alter where there are a select few on their knees, praying. I almost want to turn around and run, run far, far away from here - my Moms soul can be redeemed some other way, right? I can donate money or something, right?
Crap. I'm shoved to my knees next to an old woman, who cracks open an eye, scoffs and goes back to praying in some weird language. I look up at the large crucifixion in front of me - it's incredibly eerie, makes me want to run away, that guy doesn't look too happy. Not sure what to do, I mimic the others next to me by clasping my hands and bowing my head. The priest that shoved me to the front sprinkles those in front of him with Holy Water - I shiver as it touches my skin. I can almost feel it burn, hear God saying `That's what you get. That's what you get for not saving your Mother.`
I shudder, more so outwardly than inwardly, causing the old lady next to me to huff angrily, rising to her feet and then she disappears into the dark abyss that is the church. I can hear people muttering around me, I just can't see them, and it freaks me out...Unsure of what to do, I close my eyes as tight as I possibly can and pray that my Mom would live longer than a year, that she'd be around to see me get married (yeah, right) and that she'd also see grandchildren (another yeah, right).
“In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit…amen.” I whisper below my breath, feeling like a total idiot. I obviously failed at googling this before I came, which makes me sound like a moron. The person next to me starts to cry and I'm unsure of what I'm supposed to do, but I can feel the same emotions swirling in my head. She's dying, and here I am, being pathetic...
I quickly rise to my feet, tears filling my eyes as I stumble into the darkness of the church.
Muse: Lou Turner
Fandom: Original Character
Word Count: 664