So....this is an interesting day
This mornings classes were hard for me to get into...the english class anyways. Old Testament class is good, and zealous.....my teacher is really on fire and passionate for the things he teaches and learns, i like that a lot.
I've been feeling really weird lately, now by weird, i mean singled out. Whenever ppl talk about drug use or make jokes about drugs or anything like that i get this overwhelming feeling of littleness...
"you were stupid for doing that stuff"
then i think about all the ppl i know who are dying of that crap, and how ppl ignorantly joke about it. i know they don't know any better, being clean themselves and all, but if they knew people who are smoking crack for a living, i don't think they would appreciate being called a crack head.
i know that when i feel condemnation for the things i have done that it's just the devil trying to accuse me and whatnot, but i just wish it would go away.
i wish i could go throug ONE day without thinking about a crack pipe, or a line of PCP.....i wish i could just forget about the things i've seen. people getting stabbed, little kids crapping themselves and vommiting at the same time out of fear.....
but at the same time i know that i'm the man i am today because of the things i've seen and went through.....the things God has brought me through....
i know i have been blessed with the zeal for integrity because of the ignorance i had to it before, and i thank God for that, even right now....but ERRRRRRRRRG
anyways
ENOUGH.
I've been feeling really weird lately, now by weird, i mean singled out. Whenever ppl talk about drug use or make jokes about drugs or anything like that i get this overwhelming feeling of littleness...
"you were stupid for doing that stuff"
then i think about all the ppl i know who are dying of that crap, and how ppl ignorantly joke about it. i know they don't know any better, being clean themselves and all, but if they knew people who are smoking crack for a living, i don't think they would appreciate being called a crack head.
i know that when i feel condemnation for the things i have done that it's just the devil trying to accuse me and whatnot, but i just wish it would go away.
i wish i could go throug ONE day without thinking about a crack pipe, or a line of PCP.....i wish i could just forget about the things i've seen. people getting stabbed, little kids crapping themselves and vommiting at the same time out of fear.....
but at the same time i know that i'm the man i am today because of the things i've seen and went through.....the things God has brought me through....
i know i have been blessed with the zeal for integrity because of the ignorance i had to it before, and i thank God for that, even right now....but ERRRRRRRRRG
anyways
ENOUGH.