Where the hell did the time go..
I still can't believe that it's already September... time sure seems to fly the older you get and I'm barely 24. It's weird though this week I was thinking about growing older and it absolutely TERRIFIED me because I've apparently never really analyzed the fact that I will one day be 50 years old (granted I live to be that age). Life is really fleeting, is it? I find myself questioning things more in the last few weeks more than ever before. Asking questions that I have absolutely no answer for.
What is happiness? I'm struggling to find a definition for myself in this sense. Is it my independence? Finding a career? Having a family of my own? Being near my family? It hasn't really been something I've been able to completely understand this idea of happiness and fulfillment. I've always be okay with existing, that my presence in this world really makes no difference to anyone and it's of no importance. Don't mistake that for me being suicidal or anything just that I've always felt like there was no purpose or that there was never this grand plan I was suppose to fulfill. So what then? When everything is quiet and still I come to realize how empty my life is. It doesn't necessarily make me sad but it makes me wonder why? Maybe I'm looking at things wrong.
This probably means that I just need to keep myself busy with work because I think of really pointless shit when I give myself the opportunity to really reflect.
.
Well on another note I finally have a lap top. The heavens parted and angels sang the glorious day it happened
What is happiness? I'm struggling to find a definition for myself in this sense. Is it my independence? Finding a career? Having a family of my own? Being near my family? It hasn't really been something I've been able to completely understand this idea of happiness and fulfillment. I've always be okay with existing, that my presence in this world really makes no difference to anyone and it's of no importance. Don't mistake that for me being suicidal or anything just that I've always felt like there was no purpose or that there was never this grand plan I was suppose to fulfill. So what then? When everything is quiet and still I come to realize how empty my life is. It doesn't necessarily make me sad but it makes me wonder why? Maybe I'm looking at things wrong.
This probably means that I just need to keep myself busy with work because I think of really pointless shit when I give myself the opportunity to really reflect.
.
Well on another note I finally have a lap top. The heavens parted and angels sang the glorious day it happened