Sometimes I really don't enjoy being right
I've suspected for some time that I'm autistic. That's on top of all the other neuro stuff going on--partial agenesis of the corpus callosum, abnormal sinuses, abnormal pituitary, Chiari I malformation, hydrocephalus, epilepsy, cerebellar gait ataxia, ocular strabismus.
I don't recall ever being tested for it, and there never seemed to be a good time to bring it up with either of my parents. My mother, a narcissist, has always taken the view that "we were so focused on treating your hydrocephalus, we just never even thought about treating your strabismus/getting you on disability/etc."
We went to see my parents this evening (12/17), to drop off some stuff my inlaws wanted to give them. We chatted for a bit about our former nextdoor neighbors, whose youngest son is autistic. I asked my mother if I'd ever been tested for it.
Bear in mind, my birthdate is 1/23/72. I'll be 45 in a few weeks. I know several autistic ppl who are older than I am. When I asked my mother that question, she looked dumbstruck and actually said, "There was no such diagnosis back then! There was nothing to test you for! There was no such field as neuropsychology or any of that stuff! Trust me, if there was, we'd have tested you!"
Bull-fucking-shit!
I can't say I'm surprised. That falls right under the umbrella of "We were so focused on hydrocephalus, it never occurred to us you had anything else going on at the same time, we trusted the doctors when they told us the patch over your left eye treated the strabismus in your right eye." Uh-huh. It's been common since I was a child to treat strabismus surgically if the patch doesn't work. My entire life I grew up thinking the strabismus only affected my right eye; in my thirties I learned it was in my left as well, and my opthalmologist expressed surprise I'd never had it surgically treated. And now, since I'm nearly 45, the strabismus specialist the opthalmologist referred me to doesn't want to do the surgery, because he thinks that since I've been living with it for so long, doing the surgery now would be a waste of his time. Well, my parents were "so focused on my hydrocephalus" that apparently it was easier for my perfectionist control freak mother to yell at me about my probable autism and executive dysfunction, than actually *do* anything to treat them. I was, and still am, the perfect punching bag.
*That's* why they never had me tested.
I don't recall ever being tested for it, and there never seemed to be a good time to bring it up with either of my parents. My mother, a narcissist, has always taken the view that "we were so focused on treating your hydrocephalus, we just never even thought about treating your strabismus/getting you on disability/etc."
We went to see my parents this evening (12/17), to drop off some stuff my inlaws wanted to give them. We chatted for a bit about our former nextdoor neighbors, whose youngest son is autistic. I asked my mother if I'd ever been tested for it.
Bear in mind, my birthdate is 1/23/72. I'll be 45 in a few weeks. I know several autistic ppl who are older than I am. When I asked my mother that question, she looked dumbstruck and actually said, "There was no such diagnosis back then! There was nothing to test you for! There was no such field as neuropsychology or any of that stuff! Trust me, if there was, we'd have tested you!"
Bull-fucking-shit!
I can't say I'm surprised. That falls right under the umbrella of "We were so focused on hydrocephalus, it never occurred to us you had anything else going on at the same time, we trusted the doctors when they told us the patch over your left eye treated the strabismus in your right eye." Uh-huh. It's been common since I was a child to treat strabismus surgically if the patch doesn't work. My entire life I grew up thinking the strabismus only affected my right eye; in my thirties I learned it was in my left as well, and my opthalmologist expressed surprise I'd never had it surgically treated. And now, since I'm nearly 45, the strabismus specialist the opthalmologist referred me to doesn't want to do the surgery, because he thinks that since I've been living with it for so long, doing the surgery now would be a waste of his time. Well, my parents were "so focused on my hydrocephalus" that apparently it was easier for my perfectionist control freak mother to yell at me about my probable autism and executive dysfunction, than actually *do* anything to treat them. I was, and still am, the perfect punching bag.
*That's* why they never had me tested.