On Friday I had a baby! This was a pretty big deal so I'd like to get down my impressions before they're overwhelmed by other Big Feels. Or, y'know, distractions generally
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Christ, that sounds both familiar & terrible. I was actually quite scared of ending up in that situation, so I told my midwife straight out that my anxiety & Aspergers meant to I wouldn't be able to cope with either a) a mixed ward or b) being alone at night, so she arranged with the ward manager for me to get my own room & A stayed there on a fold-out mattress. It was still so dreadful I was crying by day 3, and I really really really don't cry much - maybe twice a year, if that? A did loads of the fetching & carrying & feeding & child-soothing. I have literally no idea how I'd have coped alone.
If you resisted demanding your own room for several days, you must have nerves of steel! It's utterly appalling that medical staff were bitching about you getting appropriate support for a potentially serious disability - still, I guess we all have more of this to look forward too, as the NHS is systematically destroyed *weeps* There was a bit of an unfortunate irony in my situation, in that I got Special Treatment (own room, partner) bcos of being an official Crazy Person (well, crazy + a bit autistic), but being a Crazy Person also kept me in hospital an extra night, cos I needed to be seen by the clinical psychologist to be discharged but she was too busy to get to me on day 3 so I had to wait overnight to see her. The subsequent 11 hour release delay was just bureaucracy!
Stef sounds as if he was brilliant. A. was frankly amazing IMO. I genuinely don't never stand the apparent level of antagonism & dismissiveness a lot of maternity settings seem to have towards male partners/parents/carers, and it pisses me right off. I really don't have a clue how non-male partners are treated in those settings, but there does generally seem to be a weird attitude to support people (eg not being supposed to want both my mother AND my co-parent at the birth!). But certainly with men, there seems to be an element if "she wouldn't be is hospital now if it weren't for you..."
Incidentally, thanks for this & your previous breast/bottle postings. Just trying to find out if i'll even be able to breastfeed & the whole business is quite frustrating, to say the least. I have barely any breast milk at present so it's a bit of a gamble at best. Formula is frustrating in its own ways but I was sick of the boob obsessives even before I gave birth!
If you resisted demanding your own room for several days, you must have nerves of steel! It's utterly appalling that medical staff were bitching about you getting appropriate support for a potentially serious disability - still, I guess we all have more of this to look forward too, as the NHS is systematically destroyed *weeps* There was a bit of an unfortunate irony in my situation, in that I got Special Treatment (own room, partner) bcos of being an official Crazy Person (well, crazy + a bit autistic), but being a Crazy Person also kept me in hospital an extra night, cos I needed to be seen by the clinical psychologist to be discharged but she was too busy to get to me on day 3 so I had to wait overnight to see her. The subsequent 11 hour release delay was just bureaucracy!
Stef sounds as if he was brilliant. A. was frankly amazing IMO. I genuinely don't never stand the apparent level of antagonism & dismissiveness a lot of maternity settings seem to have towards male partners/parents/carers, and it pisses me right off. I really don't have a clue how non-male partners are treated in those settings, but there does generally seem to be a weird attitude to support people (eg not being supposed to want both my mother AND my co-parent at the birth!). But certainly with men, there seems to be an element if "she wouldn't be is hospital now if it weren't for you..."
Incidentally, thanks for this & your previous breast/bottle postings. Just trying to find out if i'll even be able to breastfeed & the whole business is quite frustrating, to say the least. I have barely any breast milk at present so it's a bit of a gamble at best. Formula is frustrating in its own ways but I was sick of the boob obsessives even before I gave birth!
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