On Friday I had a baby! This was a pretty big deal so I'd like to get down my impressions before they're overwhelmed by other Big Feels. Or, y'know, distractions generally
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The caesarean scar healed quickly - by the time I got out of hospital I was pretty much all recovered. About a month later I had a slight scare when the scar opened up again a bit for a few days. It got to about a centimetre and a half along the line, and I made an appointment with my GP. I called on the Friday and got an appointment for the Tuesday, but I kept putting sheets of cotton wool on the area (the large flat sheets rather than the balls) to keep the area dry, and changing them a few times daily. Which meant that by the time I went to see the doc on the Tuesday, it had completely healed up. Not had any problems with it since. The only lasting effect has been that I still don't have any feeling on a big patch of skin on the swell on my tummy. But in the scheme of things, I think that's pretty minor. I occasionally show the scar to younger female friends who are curious, and to a woman they are astonished by how small it is. So don't worry on that score. And remember the cotton wool trick for if the scar opening thing happens to you. Don't be too freaked out; it's perfectly easily fixed.
And as to your other point - no-one ever really tells you how fucking impossible breastfeeding is at the start. The floppy head, the uncertainty about whether your baby is actually getting enough milk because, after all, you can't see how much they're drinking etc. etc. Also, in my case, I have an awkwardly large oval-shaped right nipple which was too big for Charles to suckle from. It's not so weird that a lover would notice (unless they'd been warned and were particularly looking for it), but it was enough to stymie my baby and led to the ridiculous situation where he only suckled from my left and I had to try to pump it all out of my right. I managed six weeks but didn't have enough milk to viably continue. And you know what? Charles is still a healthy, happy little toddler. So maybe he might have a marginally higher risk of obesity as an adult? Hey well - let them come back to me when they actually prove that for certain. And even then I'll laugh at the ridiculous fascism of it. I live in London - the sports facilities and opportunities for fitness are great. The food is plentiful and healthy. The opportunities for fatal or disabling childhood disease to take hold are few. The outlook for both Charles and your little one is fantastic.
Christ, that sounds both familiar & terrible. I was actually quite scared of ending up in that situation, so I told my midwife straight out that my anxiety & Aspergers meant to I wouldn't be able to cope with either a) a mixed ward or b) being alone at night, so she arranged with the ward manager for me to get my own room & A stayed there on a fold-out mattress. It was still so dreadful I was crying by day 3, and I really really really don't cry much - maybe twice a year, if that? A did loads of the fetching & carrying & feeding & child-soothing. I have literally no idea how I'd have coped alone.
If you resisted demanding your own room for several days, you must have nerves of steel! It's utterly appalling that medical staff were bitching about you getting appropriate support for a potentially serious disability - still, I guess we all have more of this to look forward too, as the NHS is systematically destroyed *weeps* There was a bit of an unfortunate irony in my situation, in that I got Special Treatment (own room, partner) bcos of being an official Crazy Person (well, crazy + a bit autistic), but being a Crazy Person also kept me in hospital an extra night, cos I needed to be seen by the clinical psychologist to be discharged but she was too busy to get to me on day 3 so I had to wait overnight to see her. The subsequent 11 hour release delay was just bureaucracy!
Stef sounds as if he was brilliant. A. was frankly amazing IMO. I genuinely don't never stand the apparent level of antagonism & dismissiveness a lot of maternity settings seem to have towards male partners/parents/carers, and it pisses me right off. I really don't have a clue how non-male partners are treated in those settings, but there does generally seem to be a weird attitude to support people (eg not being supposed to want both my mother AND my co-parent at the birth!). But certainly with men, there seems to be an element if "she wouldn't be is hospital now if it weren't for you..."
Incidentally, thanks for this & your previous breast/bottle postings. Just trying to find out if i'll even be able to breastfeed & the whole business is quite frustrating, to say the least. I have barely any breast milk at present so it's a bit of a gamble at best. Formula is frustrating in its own ways but I was sick of the boob obsessives even before I gave birth!
And as to your other point - no-one ever really tells you how fucking impossible breastfeeding is at the start. The floppy head, the uncertainty about whether your baby is actually getting enough milk because, after all, you can't see how much they're drinking etc. etc. Also, in my case, I have an awkwardly large oval-shaped right nipple which was too big for Charles to suckle from. It's not so weird that a lover would notice (unless they'd been warned and were particularly looking for it), but it was enough to stymie my baby and led to the ridiculous situation where he only suckled from my left and I had to try to pump it all out of my right. I managed six weeks but didn't have enough milk to viably continue. And you know what? Charles is still a healthy, happy little toddler. So maybe he might have a marginally higher risk of obesity as an adult? Hey well - let them come back to me when they actually prove that for certain. And even then I'll laugh at the ridiculous fascism of it. I live in London - the sports facilities and opportunities for fitness are great. The food is plentiful and healthy. The opportunities for fatal or disabling childhood disease to take hold are few. The outlook for both Charles and your little one is fantastic.
Best of luck to all of you. xx :o)
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If you resisted demanding your own room for several days, you must have nerves of steel! It's utterly appalling that medical staff were bitching about you getting appropriate support for a potentially serious disability - still, I guess we all have more of this to look forward too, as the NHS is systematically destroyed *weeps* There was a bit of an unfortunate irony in my situation, in that I got Special Treatment (own room, partner) bcos of being an official Crazy Person (well, crazy + a bit autistic), but being a Crazy Person also kept me in hospital an extra night, cos I needed to be seen by the clinical psychologist to be discharged but she was too busy to get to me on day 3 so I had to wait overnight to see her. The subsequent 11 hour release delay was just bureaucracy!
Stef sounds as if he was brilliant. A. was frankly amazing IMO. I genuinely don't never stand the apparent level of antagonism & dismissiveness a lot of maternity settings seem to have towards male partners/parents/carers, and it pisses me right off. I really don't have a clue how non-male partners are treated in those settings, but there does generally seem to be a weird attitude to support people (eg not being supposed to want both my mother AND my co-parent at the birth!). But certainly with men, there seems to be an element if "she wouldn't be is hospital now if it weren't for you..."
Incidentally, thanks for this & your previous breast/bottle postings. Just trying to find out if i'll even be able to breastfeed & the whole business is quite frustrating, to say the least. I have barely any breast milk at present so it's a bit of a gamble at best. Formula is frustrating in its own ways but I was sick of the boob obsessives even before I gave birth!
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