Positive things I got out of an abusive relationship
Well, generally abuse is considered to be a *bad* thing, and rightly so. But I hear there's a silver lining to every cloud, so let's see.
- good negotiation skills
- an essential understanding of how to handle aggressive people
- better restraint
- controlling my own temper
- learning what was really important, and what I could actually do without
- headed some of my own lolbertarian tendencies off at the path
- vastly improved discretion, and ability to plan
- made me slightly less cruel
- made me substantially more sympathetic
- a more rounded feminist perspective
- a more subtle understanding of manipulative behaviour
- increased ability to read meaning from non-verbal communication
- a better vision for healthy relationship models
- taught me what I didn't want
- the impetus to be out about non-monogamy
I'm sure there are a few more I can think of if I ponder, but I suppose my basic point is that, even if it's a cliche, those shitty times did make me a slightly better person. (Not much of one, I concede, but trust me, better.)
Of course, there were plenty of negatives, and the lingering, unexpected panic attacks were a big one. But they *did* go away, and I feel I was instrumental in making them go away. With my brane-thinkings (maybe) - though obv, removing self from source of anxiety was the main thing. Therefore, that gives me hope that I may be able to have a useful impact on the stupid, stupid anxiety business, although obv not being able to get away from the source of the anxiety is a problem in itself.
Am still somewhat convinced that I am potentially capable of self-fixing by means of discipline (main problem there being time and energy to perform disciplining tasks). Of course, the downside of the whole business of going to the doctor, getting Citalopram prescription, etc, is that if I do the thing I really don't want to do and start taking them, and I do improve at all, it'll look as though it's down to the medication even if I don't think it is. Which is a bit of a disincentive for self-discipline.
Being both stubborn and lazy is a pretty pointless combination.
Yeah, and mental health wangst is plain old tedious, especially from me. So I'll put my glowering resentment away and go watch some more 'Mad Men'.
- good negotiation skills
- an essential understanding of how to handle aggressive people
- better restraint
- controlling my own temper
- learning what was really important, and what I could actually do without
- headed some of my own lolbertarian tendencies off at the path
- vastly improved discretion, and ability to plan
- made me slightly less cruel
- made me substantially more sympathetic
- a more rounded feminist perspective
- a more subtle understanding of manipulative behaviour
- increased ability to read meaning from non-verbal communication
- a better vision for healthy relationship models
- taught me what I didn't want
- the impetus to be out about non-monogamy
I'm sure there are a few more I can think of if I ponder, but I suppose my basic point is that, even if it's a cliche, those shitty times did make me a slightly better person. (Not much of one, I concede, but trust me, better.)
Of course, there were plenty of negatives, and the lingering, unexpected panic attacks were a big one. But they *did* go away, and I feel I was instrumental in making them go away. With my brane-thinkings (maybe) - though obv, removing self from source of anxiety was the main thing. Therefore, that gives me hope that I may be able to have a useful impact on the stupid, stupid anxiety business, although obv not being able to get away from the source of the anxiety is a problem in itself.
Am still somewhat convinced that I am potentially capable of self-fixing by means of discipline (main problem there being time and energy to perform disciplining tasks). Of course, the downside of the whole business of going to the doctor, getting Citalopram prescription, etc, is that if I do the thing I really don't want to do and start taking them, and I do improve at all, it'll look as though it's down to the medication even if I don't think it is. Which is a bit of a disincentive for self-discipline.
Being both stubborn and lazy is a pretty pointless combination.
Yeah, and mental health wangst is plain old tedious, especially from me. So I'll put my glowering resentment away and go watch some more 'Mad Men'.