angsty type shit.
Thought I would post here for a change, I will most likely be around a lot less when school starts, I plan to spend as much time as possible at the library because I have a habit of getting distracted by bullshit here at the house....LJ will be taking a back seat, it has to.
I was pretty intimidated when i left orientation yesterday......They made it sound like we were bucking for a Nobel prize, just to get through nursing school. Sometimes I wonder if there really is a point to this, that maybe I should stay home and just be a wife, mom, and help run the business. But the thought is stifling.
This busybody bitch at the gym yesterday was marveling at how "everyone" is going into nursing and my goodness, you'll all be working at Target waiting for jobs to open up.....I wanted to knock her off the treadmill.
I'm feeling angry about a lot of shit I have no control over.
I'm upset that
gigglethrough felt so utterly worthless and alone that she found no reason to keep breathing another day.
I'm glad she's ok, but what now.....?
It makes me squirm, after meeting some of these coozes in my class, that they might actually be caring for my goldfish one day, let alone my father or sister or husband. Yikes.
It pisses me off when eating disordered women, especially those who are young and childless, jump up and down in glee when their period stops. I fucked myself up to the point where I was 35 before I was able to maintain a pregnancy, and that was touch and go. Losing your period ages you, and ultimately you will have the bone density of an 80 year old woman by the time you are 30.....I don't care if this makes people mad ,this is my journal. defriend me if you don't like it.
I'm angry that the most time consuming "hobby" I have is unproductive, dangerous and disgusting.
I "only" do it once a day, so why can't I just stop?
I should be exited, I have a full scholarship and extra financial aid, I will hopefully have a career when it's all said and done.....I think I'm just insecure about my abilities, and afraid of the ol' self-sabotage kicking in.
I need to go to the gym and sweat it off, with earphones at the ready so I don't have to talk to anyone, go to my dentist's office, etc etc.
Do the deal, get through the day.......
I was pretty intimidated when i left orientation yesterday......They made it sound like we were bucking for a Nobel prize, just to get through nursing school. Sometimes I wonder if there really is a point to this, that maybe I should stay home and just be a wife, mom, and help run the business. But the thought is stifling.
This busybody bitch at the gym yesterday was marveling at how "everyone" is going into nursing and my goodness, you'll all be working at Target waiting for jobs to open up.....I wanted to knock her off the treadmill.
I'm feeling angry about a lot of shit I have no control over.
I'm upset that
gigglethrough felt so utterly worthless and alone that she found no reason to keep breathing another day.
I'm glad she's ok, but what now.....?
It makes me squirm, after meeting some of these coozes in my class, that they might actually be caring for my goldfish one day, let alone my father or sister or husband. Yikes.
It pisses me off when eating disordered women, especially those who are young and childless, jump up and down in glee when their period stops. I fucked myself up to the point where I was 35 before I was able to maintain a pregnancy, and that was touch and go. Losing your period ages you, and ultimately you will have the bone density of an 80 year old woman by the time you are 30.....I don't care if this makes people mad ,this is my journal. defriend me if you don't like it.
I'm angry that the most time consuming "hobby" I have is unproductive, dangerous and disgusting.
I "only" do it once a day, so why can't I just stop?
I should be exited, I have a full scholarship and extra financial aid, I will hopefully have a career when it's all said and done.....I think I'm just insecure about my abilities, and afraid of the ol' self-sabotage kicking in.
I need to go to the gym and sweat it off, with earphones at the ready so I don't have to talk to anyone, go to my dentist's office, etc etc.
Do the deal, get through the day.......