Fic: Better To Have Loved and Lost..
Because writing emotionally mature Jack is fun in a way I never expected it to be.
Missing scene for "Chimera," continuing the scene where Jack and Sam are talking in her lab before The Great Doughnut Stake Out.
Title: Better To Have Loved and Lost...
Genre: Friendship, missing scene
Rating: T for minor language
Spoilers: Missing scene for Chimera
Disclaimer: Mine? No? Damn.
It’s not that Jack really wants to talk about this. In fact, he really wants not to talk about this. But there’s a deep sadness about Carter that damned evasive duck of her head can’t hide and the only thing he wants less than to talk about this is to walk out of her lab and leave her hurting.
Jack drums his fingers against the top of her lab table for a few seconds, weighing his words. The line he’s about to toe is even thinner than the one Air Force regulations draws between them.
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out,” he says quietly. He watches through his eyelashes as she takes a deep, steadying breath, squares her shoulders and raises her head.
Her dismissive shrug might have convinced him if not for the accompanying too bright smile pasted on her face. “It happens.”
“That doesn’t make it hurt any less.”
Her smile falters, morphing into a wince. “Not really.”
Carter wraps her arms around her torso in a self-hug, planting an idea in Jack’s head. Before he can talk himself out of surrendering to the impulse with thoughts of consequences and appearances that have to be kept up, he edges around the lab table. Jack stops in front of her, well inside the bubble of professional distance they usually try to keep between them. Before she can react to the invasion, he slips an arm around her shoulders in a loose, half hug.
He’s initiated. What happens next will be up to Carter.
She stiffens at first, muscles going rigid under his touch. But moments later she’s leaning into him, wrapping her arms loosely around his waist.
Jack fights back a ghost of a smile and pulls her in for a proper hug. Evidently she’s decided this can be one of those rare times when they’re friends first and officers second.
Her choice says a lot about how badly she’s really hurting.
He rubs her back, comforting circles smoothing over the thin material of her black tee. “Want us to beat him up for you?”
“I could do it myself, if I wanted to,” she retorts mildly, her words muffled by his shoulder.
A few years ago she would have bristled with feminist anger. Nowadays she just accepts that there are times when the team is going to treat her like the girl because she is the girl. Their girl.
“I know that,” Jack says. Then, “So, do you want us to beat him up or not?”
“He’s not a bad guy, sir,” Carter chastises. Despite the scolding, he can hear a smile in her voice. The offer is appreciated, even though she’ll never take him up on it.
Jack replies with a noncommittal grunt, determined not to let on that he knows just how good of a guy Pete Shanahan really is. He’s never met the man, of course, but a thorough background check is more informative than any face-to-face meeting can ever be. At this point, Jack figures he probably knows Carter’s ex-boyfriend better than she does.
Not that he plans on telling her that.
If anyone asks, Jack will insist that he’d simply been looking out for a member of his team. That he would do the same if Daniel or Teal’c ever dated people he could run background checks on, because, after all, they’ve learned the hard way to never underestimate the NID’s capacity for deviousness.
That’s his story, anyway, and Jack plans to stick to it for the foreseeable future.
Carter shifts in his arms, laying her head on his shoulder. The warm tickle of her breath on his neck distracts Jack from the increasingly farther from platonic thoughts chasing through his head. Sort of.
“I know it’s silly to be so upset over some guy I just met…” she murmurs.
“He must have been more than just ‘some guy,’ Carter,” Jack interrupts. “For a while there you were actually leaving at the end of the day and taking off whole weekends at a time.”
She shrugs and Jack wonders who she’s trying to downplay the significance of the relationship for: him, because of things they usually try so hard not to talk about, or herself, because if things with Pete weren’t that serious, the break up wouldn’t hurt so much.
Carter doesn’t seem inclined to talk about it any more, so Jack doesn’t ask. Instead, he tightens the hug, offering a good long squeeze before letting his arms fall away. She does the same and suddenly they’re standing toe-to-toe and she’s giving him that soft, bittersweet smile that always makes him wish for the ability to read her mind.
Jack hopes his thoughts are as much a mystery to Carter as hers are to him, because he’s pretty sure he’s giving her a bittersweet look of his own and he certainly doesn’t want her exploring the possible reasons why.
He doesn’t even want to explore those reasons himself.
Rather than dwelling on feelings that tend to lead down a dangerous path, Jack decides to switch gears and get things back on a more professional track. “Are you gonna be able to get your head into this stakeout tonight?”
“It’s already there, sir,” Carter assures, confident.
Jack pats her shoulder and offers up a proud, “Atta girl.”
Carter’s nothing if not reliable. He can count on her to be at her best the same way most people count on the sun to rise every morning. More, probably.
With nothing left to say - at least, nothing that he can say now and not regret later - Jack ushers her out into the corridor and tries hard to quash that little voice in his head that cheers Pete Shanahan’s exit from his 2IC’s life for reasons that are best not to dwell upon.
Missing scene for "Chimera," continuing the scene where Jack and Sam are talking in her lab before The Great Doughnut Stake Out.
Title: Better To Have Loved and Lost...
Genre: Friendship, missing scene
Rating: T for minor language
Spoilers: Missing scene for Chimera
Disclaimer: Mine? No? Damn.
It’s not that Jack really wants to talk about this. In fact, he really wants not to talk about this. But there’s a deep sadness about Carter that damned evasive duck of her head can’t hide and the only thing he wants less than to talk about this is to walk out of her lab and leave her hurting.
Jack drums his fingers against the top of her lab table for a few seconds, weighing his words. The line he’s about to toe is even thinner than the one Air Force regulations draws between them.
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out,” he says quietly. He watches through his eyelashes as she takes a deep, steadying breath, squares her shoulders and raises her head.
Her dismissive shrug might have convinced him if not for the accompanying too bright smile pasted on her face. “It happens.”
“That doesn’t make it hurt any less.”
Her smile falters, morphing into a wince. “Not really.”
Carter wraps her arms around her torso in a self-hug, planting an idea in Jack’s head. Before he can talk himself out of surrendering to the impulse with thoughts of consequences and appearances that have to be kept up, he edges around the lab table. Jack stops in front of her, well inside the bubble of professional distance they usually try to keep between them. Before she can react to the invasion, he slips an arm around her shoulders in a loose, half hug.
He’s initiated. What happens next will be up to Carter.
She stiffens at first, muscles going rigid under his touch. But moments later she’s leaning into him, wrapping her arms loosely around his waist.
Jack fights back a ghost of a smile and pulls her in for a proper hug. Evidently she’s decided this can be one of those rare times when they’re friends first and officers second.
Her choice says a lot about how badly she’s really hurting.
He rubs her back, comforting circles smoothing over the thin material of her black tee. “Want us to beat him up for you?”
“I could do it myself, if I wanted to,” she retorts mildly, her words muffled by his shoulder.
A few years ago she would have bristled with feminist anger. Nowadays she just accepts that there are times when the team is going to treat her like the girl because she is the girl. Their girl.
“I know that,” Jack says. Then, “So, do you want us to beat him up or not?”
“He’s not a bad guy, sir,” Carter chastises. Despite the scolding, he can hear a smile in her voice. The offer is appreciated, even though she’ll never take him up on it.
Jack replies with a noncommittal grunt, determined not to let on that he knows just how good of a guy Pete Shanahan really is. He’s never met the man, of course, but a thorough background check is more informative than any face-to-face meeting can ever be. At this point, Jack figures he probably knows Carter’s ex-boyfriend better than she does.
Not that he plans on telling her that.
If anyone asks, Jack will insist that he’d simply been looking out for a member of his team. That he would do the same if Daniel or Teal’c ever dated people he could run background checks on, because, after all, they’ve learned the hard way to never underestimate the NID’s capacity for deviousness.
That’s his story, anyway, and Jack plans to stick to it for the foreseeable future.
Carter shifts in his arms, laying her head on his shoulder. The warm tickle of her breath on his neck distracts Jack from the increasingly farther from platonic thoughts chasing through his head. Sort of.
“I know it’s silly to be so upset over some guy I just met…” she murmurs.
“He must have been more than just ‘some guy,’ Carter,” Jack interrupts. “For a while there you were actually leaving at the end of the day and taking off whole weekends at a time.”
She shrugs and Jack wonders who she’s trying to downplay the significance of the relationship for: him, because of things they usually try so hard not to talk about, or herself, because if things with Pete weren’t that serious, the break up wouldn’t hurt so much.
Carter doesn’t seem inclined to talk about it any more, so Jack doesn’t ask. Instead, he tightens the hug, offering a good long squeeze before letting his arms fall away. She does the same and suddenly they’re standing toe-to-toe and she’s giving him that soft, bittersweet smile that always makes him wish for the ability to read her mind.
Jack hopes his thoughts are as much a mystery to Carter as hers are to him, because he’s pretty sure he’s giving her a bittersweet look of his own and he certainly doesn’t want her exploring the possible reasons why.
He doesn’t even want to explore those reasons himself.
Rather than dwelling on feelings that tend to lead down a dangerous path, Jack decides to switch gears and get things back on a more professional track. “Are you gonna be able to get your head into this stakeout tonight?”
“It’s already there, sir,” Carter assures, confident.
Jack pats her shoulder and offers up a proud, “Atta girl.”
Carter’s nothing if not reliable. He can count on her to be at her best the same way most people count on the sun to rise every morning. More, probably.
With nothing left to say - at least, nothing that he can say now and not regret later - Jack ushers her out into the corridor and tries hard to quash that little voice in his head that cheers Pete Shanahan’s exit from his 2IC’s life for reasons that are best not to dwell upon.