Flea one-shot2 "Blast from the Past"
To all who miss Flea :), esp. to Tara; fridayblues
Pairing: Ennis/Jack
Disclaimer: Annie Prouxl owns the timeless characters in BBM. I'm writing from love and making no profit.
Summary: AU!AU set in Flea Universe.
My Deepest Thanks: always to Judy (judy_blue_cat), the ultemate beta!
Feedback: keeps me going, really, you have no idea...
Blast from the Past: Jack's past is about to mold Ennis's and their future.
“Ennis, I know it’s your day off but we are having a meeting this afternoon with the new vet and I expect you there.”
That was Dr. Brown, calling him ten minutes ago. And that was why he had to look for a necktie in Jack’s closet. He didn’t snoop, even called for permission. Jack teased him, something he kind of expected. But that was alright. It was always so nice to hear him laugh.
Ennis randomly snatched a black necktie out of the drawer in the closet. As a result of the hasty movement, something fell on the floor. It was an envelope. He bent down to pick it up, was about to put it back in the drawer when something else slipped from the open flap and landed near his foot. It was a ring.
Nothing was written on the envelope, but judging from the weight, there was something more in it. Ennis felt his brows knot, and he didn’t allow any reasonable voice in him to say a word as he pulled out a small card and read it. Don’t ask me again how much I love you, Brent.
++++++++++
“What happened?” Grant asked. He stopped loading beers into the fridge and looked across the dim club at Ennis who was supposed to set the tables, not just stand there and stare into emptiness. The blond vet shrugged and murmured something that sounded like ‘nothing’. Grant swept his eyes down Ennis’s formal wear-a white shirt and black trousers, and crooked his brow. “I thought you didn’t have to work today.”
“Had a meeting. We’ll have a new vet to help out when Dr. Brown is in Seattle. He’s going there next week to do some research.”
“Yeah, you must be busy then.” Grant shut the fridge and walked over to help Ennis move a big table against the wall near the bar. “We’ll put the food here so the guys can have easy access to the beers in the fridge back there. What do you think?”
Ennis smiled his first smile of the day. “It’s your day. You can put the food upstairs for all I care.”
“Well, now you just made a going-on-thirty-nine birthday party sound like something I can look forward to. Just a half hour ago, I accepted my own fate to be a slave on my birthday ‘cause I can see the aftermath coming, you know…dirty dishes and a club that looks pretty much like someone has just thrown in a bomb.”
Ennis snorted. He had seen the guest list and that was why he decided to join the party. He knew some of the people from the Velvet. But the truth was Ennis didn’t really give it much thought ‘cause it was Grant’s birthday. The man had become someone he could rely on besides Jack. Ennis always enjoyed his company. So he had to be here anyway.
Everything was settled into place within an hour. Some other guys and girls arrived with loads of snack at six thirty and the party pretty much started with Nirvana’s Come As You Are rumbling in the background. Ennis volunteered to stay out of the spotlight behind the bar, and took care of the popcorn in the popper that was cooking and bouncing in the microwave like an erupting volcano. For a minute, he let his mind wander to the ring and the card in Jack’s drawer. Knew damn well it was a normal thing to do between lovers, well, ex-lovers, giving presents and such, but still he couldn’t help but see the image of Jack and that man together, that man who gave Jack the ring to prove his love while Ennis tied Jack with a bracelet of beads that he didn’t even buy. But Jack took great care of it after all, taking it off every time he took the shower or bathed Flea and stuff. On his day off, Ennis was used to see the bracelet and a Salt Lake City keychain on the nightstand first thing in the morning, while Jack was dressing up for work. He would bury himself back under the blanket, listening to Jack’s and Flea’s footsteps that echoed around the room in absolute peacefulness. Never before had the bracelet and the keychain made Ennis feel so small, like a fool in a teen movie who gave his high school crush an empty promise that their love would last forever and ever.
Ennis looked down at the bracelet around his wrist. He remembered Jack’s face when he gave it to him. The truth was, Ennis didn’t think he would forget that look ever, how those eyes got wide and swimming with feelings. He wondered how Jack looked when that man gave him the ring, that man who was now strolling gracefully into the club with a big box of presents in his hand and a thousand-watt smile, Ennis saw from the corner of his eyes.
It was a surprise visit, obviously, ‘cause Grant hurried to Brent with an astonished look. With a curse, Ennis stayed rooted behind the bar, until Grant found him and a bowl of popcorn glued together like Siamese twins. “I swear I didn’t plan this. He said he couldn’t make it when I told him about the party.”
Ennis tried to look neutral. “No worries, Grant. It’s your day. Enjoy the party.”
Grant sighed. Somebody was calling Grant’s name and a minute later, when Grant was still hesitating, Brent showed up beside him. He put his elbows on the bar and smiled down at them all too friendly-like. “Hey. Why are you hiding here? Let’s play darts.”
Ennis pushed his beer bottle into Grant’s hand. Well, if the man wants to play darts, then darts it is.
++++++++++
Ennis hadn’t picked up the phone when Jack called a while ago. But he wasn’t worried ‘cause Ennis was at the club. The idea of Ennis hanging out with his friends was giving him a thrill and Jack found himself smiling widely as he stepped into the Bay & Bridge. Instead of typical 80s music, he was greeted by crazy cheering and yelling, making him blink in surprise. Grant having a wild birthday party instead of a quiet one was the last thing he imagined.
Stepping carefully into the middle of the room, Jack saw that everyone had their back turned to him, concentrating on something on the far wall of the club. He tried to look over others’ heads, but before he spotted anything, Grant dragged him out of the circle of madness to the bar where another popper of popcorn was rotating and cooking in the microwave.
“What’s happening?” he required. “What’s everyone cheering at?”
“A dart game that involves vodka for each round’s loser that never seems to end.”
Jack snickered. “That’s wild. Who’s winning now?”
“Brent.”
“He’s here?” Grant nodded, handing Jack a bottle of beer, suddenly looking uncomfortable. Jack narrowed his eyes at Grant above a Budweiser. “You don’t look good,” Jack observed then drank a big gulp of beer. “Who’s losing?”
“Ennis.”
Jack choked on the beer. “Ennis!?! Why is Ennis playing darts with Brent?”
“Because it’s fun?”
“Ha ha ha.” Jack feigned a laugh.
“They’ve been playing the game for hours. I think they have drunk more vodka than the Russians drink in a week.”
Jack moved back to the crowd, squeezed in and emerged behind Brent’s tall frame. And, sure enough, Ennis was standing in the circle of people, forehead furrowed with intense concentration as he aimed with one eye at the dart board on the far wall, the red dart in his grip.
Everyone was quiet, all the attention following the dart that was now flying toward the board. It hit the green slot several inches from the bull’s-eye, below the blue dart that was standing proud and tall on the red slot near the bull’s-eye.
With a grunt, Ennis turned to empty out the small glass of vodka and grimaced. Brent chuckled, was about to start another game, but Jack jumped up to block his way. Brent smiled. “Hey.”
“Brent,” Jack nodded then simply walked up to Ennis who swayed a little when he caught his arm. “You ok?”
“Yep,” Ennis said, but gently pried his arm from Jack’s hold and jerked his chin at Brent. “Your turn now, huh?”
“Come on, Ennis. That’s enough,” Jack whispered.
“Nope. Not gonna stop ‘til I knock him down.”
Jack turned to Grant for help but was dragged out of the circle instead. They ended up sitting on the couch behind the bar together, munching popcorn as the cheering erupted again. “Sorry about that…” Jack murmured.
“No, I’m sorry. Brent said he couldn’t make it but I should have known him better. That man loves to surprise people.”
“Yeah…some things never change.” Jack drew his legs up to sit Indian-style on the couch as another round of cheering exploded. He sighed. “It would be a hell of a lot easier if I could just throw Brent out of the club, not that I’m going to do it on your birthday, but you know what I mean.”
“No, you can’t, and not because it’s my birthday party.”
“I know.” Jack ate a mouthful of popcorn. “Sometime I wonder if there’ll come a day when I look at Brent without guilt eating at me. Or if I will ever see him as a regular person, Tom, Dick, or Harry, or a hotdog guy who I can just bare my teeth at on my bad days without feeling anything.”
“Boy, you would glare at a hotdog guy on your bad days?”
“Whatever, Grant, what I mean is Brent knows I feel guilty for leaving him and he makes sure I won’t forget that. I feel like he is a damn tattoo on my skin, like something haunting me from the past. And I don’t understand why he wanted to play darts with Ennis, like he didn’t know the consequences of what I have to deal with after the party’s over.”
“Or he didn’t care.”
“Or he wanted me to deal with consequences,” Jack said, squinting when he heard the guys cheer Ennis! Ennis! and knew without looking that Ennis was about to throw another ounce of vodka down his throat. Well, nobody was forcing him, who knew, he might be having a good time. Like hell, Jack cussed. After a while of doing nothing but tossing popcorn into his mouth, Jack noticed the absence of Lee. “Where’s Lee?”
“He’ll be a bit late. Said he has to see his mom or something.”
“Hopefully he’ll be on time for the cleaning up,” Grant snorted. “Sorry, I can’t help it.”
Lee arrived in ten minutes and asked for a rewind of what was going on. Jack left Grant to do the explaining while he stood up on the bar and observed the progress of the dart game.
In the end, Brent and Ennis played that stupid dart game for half the night until they were too drunk to grab the darts and too unfocused to make out where the dart board was. The clock finally ticked two A.M. and Jack managed to ignore them both as he helped Lee clean up the place while Grant sent off the guests. At one point, Lee elbowed him to look across the club to where Brent and Ennis were practically sprawling semi-unconsciously on the long seats. They were pretty noisy, either drunk-blindly snapping each other or talking in their sleep. Lee jerked his chin there. “What’re you gonna do?”
Without hearing Jack’s answer, Lee headed that way, leaving Jack no choice but to follow. And later he found himself wincing down at the two totally wasted men; one had held his past and the other was, hopefully, holding his future, talking animatedly like they had known each other for years.
“It’s fucking strange…” he caught Brent murmur. “Fucking Ripley…”
“Yeah, Jack did that sometime.” Now Ennis grunted back, rolling his head without opening his eyes. I did what? Jack made quick eye-contact with Lee, feeling his stomach lurching. Was he supposed to hear this?
“He…” Brent drawled. “He used to…ek…went all the way to L.A. and we cerebrated my birthday…ek.”
“Yeah?” Ennis slurred. He struggled to open his eyes, but failed. With a groan, he rolled to his side and started to giggle. “You know he…he hates fucking cockroaches.” Lee snorted. Jack rolled his eyes but Ennis seemed to have more to say to his long-lost best friend, Jesus. “And spiders. Once he…he…kinda froze and…” Crazy giggles. “…had that look in his face like someone just…fucking died. Turned out the poor spider was crawling on his leg…and it was this tiny…”
Brent laughed, so did Lee. Jack shoved the red-haired man and grabbed Ennis’s arm. “Ennis, come on. I’ll take you upstairs.”
“No….”
“Yeeeaaahh,” Brent blurted out as he slumped sideways. “You know somethin’? I just love it when he…when he…shit…”
“Yeah…I love… Yeah, me, too, I love…” Ennis stopped, frowned and smiled. Jack swallowed. “…chicken curry…”
Lee burst out laughing. And with that, Brent and Ennis continued their murmurs and shared giggles again in their drunken world. Ennis said something more about food; turkey sandwich and chili. Jack caught Brent’s chitchat about New York, baseball and iPod among other silly things.
A half hour later, Brent, who seemed to sober up after being forced to drink a cup of strong coffee, said he would go home. Not the best idea ‘cause in his condition, there was no way in hell and heaven Brent could go home in one piece. Ennis was stretched out on the long seat, sound asleep now and snoring softly under the warmth from his own jacket that was covering him up to his nose. Grant and Lee were talking and Jack saw them steal kisses behind the bar. Jack sat on the end of seat, looking at Brent who was kneading his temple quietly. “How’re you doing?”
Brent groaned. “I’m ok. But I have to go.”
“You can’t drive like this,” Jack said matter-of-factly. “You’re drunk.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.” Brent smirked, and automatically, Jack reached out to rub Ennis’s thigh, knowing Brent was watching, but didn’t stop. Damn but it looked like Brent could use some rest.
“You can take a nap here. Wait until you feel better.”
“I can’t sleep anywhere but home, you know that.”
“I remember.” Jack sighed. “But I insist. You shouldn’t drive.” With a quick decision, he grabbed the familiar car key on the table. “Come on, I’ll drive you.”
++++++++++
Brent’s apartment was the same modern room that looked like an extract from Home and Style magazine. Jack cautiously maintained a suitable distance as he followed Brent into his bedroom-still the same big room with striped silver and gold wallpaper that had always made him a bit cross-eyed.
Jack decided to linger behind as Brent started to undress and got under the blanket with a stifled groan. “God, can you get me some water and pills? My head hurts like hell.”
“Ok.” Jack tried not to think about anything when he walked to the bathroom and opened just the right cabinet and took out just the right bottle of pills. It was no use pretending to be lost in this enormous apartment of your ex just to prove that you didn’t feel something for him anymore.
Back to the bedroom, he watched Brent swallow the pills and water and was about to turn off the light when Brent called out, “Why did you do this?”
“You can’t drive.”
“You still feel something for me, don’t you? It’s ok. Nobody’s here. It’s just us, like before.”
Jack sat down on the lone chair near the bed. “Maybe I do feel something. It could be guilt. And I still care about you. Or maybe I’m here because I feel like we haven’t talked properly about us.” He looked at Brent who slid a little more into the blanket. “It’s always been nothing but good being with you, Brent. I want you to know that.”
“Then come back to me. I’ve missed you.”
“Can’t.” Jack squeezed the bridge of his nose. “I really hope I can make you understand how I feel about Ennis without hurting you. What we’ve had, it was great. You were a great partner. You did nothing wrong, but what I have with Ennis, it’s…more intense… It’s…”
“You can be direct, Jack. You lost your love for me, say it, I can handle that.” Jack ran fingers through his hair nervously. Brent’s simple but harsh words like a dart came piercing into a board that was his heart. Brent continued bitterly, “How do you know it won’t happen again? How can you be so sure you wouldn’t dump him like you did me when you find somebody new?”
Jack slumped against the back of the chair. “I knew you wouldn’t understand.”
“Make me.”
Jack rubbed his face. “Brent… Being with you is about confidence and stability. It’s about walking on water and you make me feel proud and strong. But the truth is I’m not perfect, nor that strong. And Ennis isn’t either, like me. With him, it’s about a journey of up and down, of discovery, and I wake up every day to find new things about him. Like tonight, I know now he can be pretty animated when he’s wasted.” Jack chuckled a bit as he thought back to a super-friendly, drunken Ennis. “With him, it’s about fulfilling each other…and it’s about double espresso in the morning and frozen beef lasagna at night… I don’t know, it’s hard to explain…”
“That intense, huh?”
Jack exhaled as he nodded. “Yeah. It scares me sometimes.”
After a few quiet minutes, Brent finally let out a sigh and rubbed his weary eyes. “Shit, I was acting like a jerk tonight. Sorry about that. There’s a devil in me that just won’t go away. Are you going to be ok?”
Jack felt the tension seep from his body. “Are you?” Jack tossed the same question back at Brent. And it wasn’t only about his drunken condition.
“I guess. Well, I have to be ok finally. But fuck, I’m gonna have a headache come morning.” Brent groaned and slid down deeper under the blanket, patting the space on the edge of the bed. But Jack didn’t go there. He just reached to lower the level of the light on the nightstand when Brent caught his wrist. “There’s something else, isn’t it?”
Brent’s hold was strong, and it pressed the beaded bracelet on his skin. Jack nodded. “There is. I’m here because I want to end this properly. We’re really over, Brent. I’m in love with someone else. I feel guilty every time I see you, but it’s not going to change anything.”
Brent let go of his wrist and turned on his side. The light from the bulb wasn’t enough for Jack to see the emotions on the handsome face that was facing away from him. “Damn it,” Brent whispered after a silent beat. “Thought I could handle this. But fuck it hurts.”
“I’m sorry…” Jack said softly, wanting Brent to know he meant it, really meant it, and he didn’t know how long he stayed there. But Brent hadn’t moved by the time the clock struck three in the morning. He might be asleep or might not, Jack didn’t know. He looked around the room, wondering what tomorrow might bring, if he and Brent would be total strangers or, as his selfish heart always hoped, they could be friends again.
++++++++++
Ennis had a restless sleep. And there were reasons behind it; his head hurt, his stomach roared from too much booze, the uncomfortable position on Grant’s sofa, and the fact that every time he woke up to the darkness, Jack hadn’t yet come back.
He knew Jack had gone to that man’s place ‘cause he wasn’t that drunk when Lee and Grant dragged him up to Grant’s room on the second floor. He heard Grant tell Lee about that, and heard Lee spit ‘Fucker, hasn’t he ever learned something?’ before they laid him on the long sofa.
Ennis was certain nothing would happen. Besides, it was the other way around this time; Jack was sober while that man was drunk. The past wouldn’t repeat itself. But Ennis felt disturbed, so disturbed that even the alcohol couldn’t calm him, though he really couldn’t put his finger on why. Maybe he wouldn’t feel like this if he hadn’t seen that ring.
He heard footsteps from downstairs, so did Grant, ‘cause he was now heading out of the bedroom to the door. Ennis also heard Grant and Jack exchange words softly before he saw Jack bend down to look at him, fingers threading through the hair above his ear. “Hey.” Jack sat down when he saw Ennis wasn’t sleeping. “Get some sleep, Ennis.”
“Where you been?” Asked for the answer he’d already known.
“Brent’s drunk. I drove him home. How’re you feeling?”
“What if there was a fire?”
“What?” Ennis could see Jack’s puzzled expression from the light seeping through the crack of the curtain.
“What if there was a fire here?”
Jack shook his head ruefully. “There wasn’t.”
“What if there was? Here, while you were tending to him.”
“I’m not tending to him. I just drove him home.” Jack scooted closer and looked straight into his eyes. Ennis believed him but couldn’t stop the words that were pouring out of his mouth. It was like there was somebody pulling the strings, rousing the evil Ennis Del Mar who refused to live with reasons.
“So here comes the same question again,” Ennis heard himself say, voice cracking. “What if there was fire here while you were gone? What if there was a major earthquake? A tornado?”
Jack threw his arms in the air. “What’s your problem, Ennis? You know I’ll come back. I’ll run, hail a cab. It’s less than five minutes from there.”
Ennis looked at Jack in the dark, knew damn well that Jack was trying his best to deal with his stubbornness and stupidity. But the evil Ennis finally won. He abruptly covered his face with his sweater, his voice muffled when he said, “Too late. I’m already dead.”
++++++++++
Ennis still felt that deadness in him several days later, and Martha looked concerned.
“Here. Take a couple of pills and sleep it off.” She handed him a bottle of painkillers which Ennis refused. Ennis muttered a thank you and tried to continue reading the report as Martha stepped closer. “I’ll put it here then.”
“Thanks,” Ennis muttered but didn’t look at the bottle of pills on the table. He was trying to read, had been working hard to focus and had succeeded only for about five minutes until Martha came in. Damn it. Ennis glanced at the small white bottle. Couldn’t read now, might as well take some pills and, if he was lucky, he might be able to get some sleep. But that wasn’t likely to happen, for one thing, luck wasn’t his best friend. Not to mention Jack’s question now came haunting at the back of his mind again; what’s your problem?
Ennis looked at the Salt Lake Temple postcard and put down the report. Need to get out of here. Need more space to breathe. And for the next thirty minutes, Ennis still thought about Jack and his question as he strolled in the park with Flea. Hell, he hated it when they fought. And for God’s sake, he’d started it this time. He blamed it all on the ring he found in Jack’s drawer. But maybe it was just a scapegoat. He could give a ring to Jack if he wanted to, and Jack would wear it, no doubt about that. So what was the problem?
He was the problem, he and how he was placing one of his feet in Jack’s room and the other in his haunted apartment that still smelled strongly of the Ennis Del Mar he used to be.
He felt determined. Not so often that determination was on his side, so he’d better hang on to it. Ennis grabbed his cell and called Jack. Jack picked it up fast, like he was waiting for the call.
“Jack,” he started. “I want you to go some place with me.”
“Where?” A cautious inquiry.
“My apartment.” Ennis kicked some random dry branch near his feet, and watched it fall into the pond. “The last piece of me.”
++++++++++
Jack didn’t know what to expect. But Ennis’s apartment was pretty much what he had thought it would be; small, mature and simple with just enough furniture for a bachelor who was hardly ever home.
Ennis tossed a key on the bed as Flea started his sniffing around the place. The curtain was being snatched open and Jack had to squint his eyes as the late afternoon sun beamed in. Quietly, Ennis sank down on the bed. Jack wasn’t sure if Ennis realized how Ennis’s eyes seemed to say ‘come here’ when their eyes met, really met for the first time after Friday night. So Jack sat on the bed, too, not so close to Ennis, and not so far.
The silence was heavy. Flea looked like he couldn’t stand it and jumped up on the bed. And that was when Jack decided to break the ice. “Look, Ennis.”
“No, you listen to me,” Ennis interrupted. “I don’t know why you still have to, well, be around your ex…but...”
“I’m not…”
“But that’s what makes you the way you are, I mean…you’re still you, before and after you met me. And I guess that’s what I, well, like about you.” Ennis flicked his eyes up at Jack and looked down again. “I’m the one who’s changed, you’re not. I just can’t seem to accept that and make everyone around me crazy.”
Jack moved closer. “You’re the same Ennis Del Mar I know.”
“I’m not and you know damn well what I mean, Jack.”
“Can’t say I don’t like that change…” Jack shrugged, earning a shove on his shoulder.
“I’m serious.”
Jack sat cross-leg on the bed and watched Flea play with his rubber bone while he collected his thoughts. He felt the need to be true to himself, and to Ennis. “I’m not gonna lie to you. I still care about Brent but it’s not what you think. It’s not based on love. I don’t know, it might be either guilt or gratitude. He was there for me when I was struggling with this being gay thing and when we dated, he was nothing but good to me. I can’t just ignore him especially when he needed me. That night, I just drove him home because he was drunk and that was all, Ennis.”
“I know.”
“You know?” Jack asked. “So why…”
Ennis shrugged. “I saw his ring in your drawer.”
Jack blinked. It took him some time to finally understand what Ennis was talking about. The ring that Brent gave him in L.A. where they were celebrating Brent’s birthday but it turned out he was the one who got the present. It was his favorite accessory until the gorgeous but humble African beads took over its place in his heart. “It’s the past, Ennis.”
Ennis shrugged again, grimaced a little this time. “I know. I was feeling stupid and…shit…come here, you.” He grabbed Jack’s arm and laid them down on the well-made bed with Jack on top. Flea sniffed closer but Ennis threw the ball out to the floor, making the little dog bounce down to his favorite toy. Jack looked down at him questioningly and Ennis blew out nervous air. “I want you to do this.”
“Do what?” Jack asked, but Ennis could tell from his soft eyes that Jack knew what he wanted.
“This.” He slid Jack’s hand from his flank to rest on his hips, and pushed his groin up to make his point. Jack gasped, still didn’t avert his eyes from Ennis.
“Are you saying…?”
“Yes.” He clutched the back of Jack’s head and kissed him, probing his tongue inside that sweet mouth. “Just do it here, chase away the old Ennis Del Mar and make me new, make me whole.”
“Jesus,” Jack gritted his teeth as Ennis pushed his hips up again, rubbing their heated bodies more forcefully. “But do you want this?”
“Don’t you know by now that I want this? You really have to ask?”
“Oh, Ennis.” One more kiss, and Ennis closed his eyes, trying to relax as Jack’s hands slowly peeled off his clothes. He’d never felt this exposed in his whole life, exposed, defenseless, but he wasn’t scared. The truth was he thought he even looked forward to it. He wanted to live real, wanted to be strong. And Jack’s touch was gentle. The weight of his hands that were dotting on his naked skin was solid and possessive, and Ennis had to wonder why he ever suspected that Jack would have eyes for someone else, even when he had been telling Ennis whichever way possible that Ennis was the only one for him.
Jack Twist might still care for all his exes, but that was his loving nature, and that was what Ennis adored about that man. But damn, he was going to make sure that Brent guy was history.
Ennis was flipped on his stomach, Jack’s kisses sprayed on his shoulders and back. He laid his body, his soul in Jack’s hands, didn’t shy away, and didn’t even stiffle a moan of pleasure when he felt Jack inside him, knowing whatever happened in the future, he wasn’t facing it alone.
++++++++++
“What is it?” Jack blinked when Ennis slid a small gray box made of cardboard across the table in the kitchen. Ennis made a face as if it was the stupidest question. “What? I know it’s a box. But why do I need a box?”
“Umm…let’s see…to keep things you don’t need anymore?”
Jack opened his mouth but what he was going to say stuck in his throat when Ennis let the insecurity in him show in his eyes, maybe for the first time. “I’ll throw it away if you want.”
“If you wanted to throw it away, you’d have done that by now. I know you’re not ready.”
Suddenly, Jack jumped up on his feet and walked with the box to the closet. Ennis watched as he put the envelope into the box, then moved to the bookshelf and swept some books down as well. After a pause, Jack swiftly turned to the bathroom. Ennis’s eyes got wide in shock. “You got that much stuff?”
Jack answered by simply bringing the box which was now half-filled with things and putting it on the table. Ennis grabbed the bottle containing the light green liquid and lifted it up to his nose to sniff. “Christ, Jack. Is this the aftershave…” that I like? He didn’t say it out loud but of course Jack knew. On more than one occasion, he had admitted to liking the smell of that stuff, especially on Jack. Jack nodded, seized it and put it back in the box.
“I’ll buy a new one. Or you can buy that for me.”
“I’m not buying shit for you,” Ennis murmured, pretending to look through other stuff in the box, but he was smiling. Jack smiled, too, and swatted his hand away. He closed the lid and gave it a healthy pat, then they just looked across the table at each other, no words were exchanged, both contented in just looking.
Ennis’s cell rang, breaking the spell. It was from Dr. Emily West, the new vet, and he picked up the call, peeling Jack’s hand off the box and drawing the man closer to him. “Dr. West,” Jack’s arm wound around his waist and Ennis was pulled into the warmth of his broad chest and welcomed by kisses on his neck, jaw and cheek. “Tomorrow is fine with me,” Ennis coaxed out. “I’m real glad that you would like to look at my place. It’s in a very quiet area. I think you will like it.”
* * *
If you missed the 1st one-shot "What're you doing?", it's here. And my writing plans (if you're interested to know) are here. Have a nice, energetic Monday, everyone :) xxx
Pairing: Ennis/Jack
Disclaimer: Annie Prouxl owns the timeless characters in BBM. I'm writing from love and making no profit.
Summary: AU!AU set in Flea Universe.
My Deepest Thanks: always to Judy (judy_blue_cat), the ultemate beta!
Feedback: keeps me going, really, you have no idea...
Blast from the Past: Jack's past is about to mold Ennis's and their future.
“Ennis, I know it’s your day off but we are having a meeting this afternoon with the new vet and I expect you there.”
That was Dr. Brown, calling him ten minutes ago. And that was why he had to look for a necktie in Jack’s closet. He didn’t snoop, even called for permission. Jack teased him, something he kind of expected. But that was alright. It was always so nice to hear him laugh.
Ennis randomly snatched a black necktie out of the drawer in the closet. As a result of the hasty movement, something fell on the floor. It was an envelope. He bent down to pick it up, was about to put it back in the drawer when something else slipped from the open flap and landed near his foot. It was a ring.
Nothing was written on the envelope, but judging from the weight, there was something more in it. Ennis felt his brows knot, and he didn’t allow any reasonable voice in him to say a word as he pulled out a small card and read it. Don’t ask me again how much I love you, Brent.
++++++++++
“What happened?” Grant asked. He stopped loading beers into the fridge and looked across the dim club at Ennis who was supposed to set the tables, not just stand there and stare into emptiness. The blond vet shrugged and murmured something that sounded like ‘nothing’. Grant swept his eyes down Ennis’s formal wear-a white shirt and black trousers, and crooked his brow. “I thought you didn’t have to work today.”
“Had a meeting. We’ll have a new vet to help out when Dr. Brown is in Seattle. He’s going there next week to do some research.”
“Yeah, you must be busy then.” Grant shut the fridge and walked over to help Ennis move a big table against the wall near the bar. “We’ll put the food here so the guys can have easy access to the beers in the fridge back there. What do you think?”
Ennis smiled his first smile of the day. “It’s your day. You can put the food upstairs for all I care.”
“Well, now you just made a going-on-thirty-nine birthday party sound like something I can look forward to. Just a half hour ago, I accepted my own fate to be a slave on my birthday ‘cause I can see the aftermath coming, you know…dirty dishes and a club that looks pretty much like someone has just thrown in a bomb.”
Ennis snorted. He had seen the guest list and that was why he decided to join the party. He knew some of the people from the Velvet. But the truth was Ennis didn’t really give it much thought ‘cause it was Grant’s birthday. The man had become someone he could rely on besides Jack. Ennis always enjoyed his company. So he had to be here anyway.
Everything was settled into place within an hour. Some other guys and girls arrived with loads of snack at six thirty and the party pretty much started with Nirvana’s Come As You Are rumbling in the background. Ennis volunteered to stay out of the spotlight behind the bar, and took care of the popcorn in the popper that was cooking and bouncing in the microwave like an erupting volcano. For a minute, he let his mind wander to the ring and the card in Jack’s drawer. Knew damn well it was a normal thing to do between lovers, well, ex-lovers, giving presents and such, but still he couldn’t help but see the image of Jack and that man together, that man who gave Jack the ring to prove his love while Ennis tied Jack with a bracelet of beads that he didn’t even buy. But Jack took great care of it after all, taking it off every time he took the shower or bathed Flea and stuff. On his day off, Ennis was used to see the bracelet and a Salt Lake City keychain on the nightstand first thing in the morning, while Jack was dressing up for work. He would bury himself back under the blanket, listening to Jack’s and Flea’s footsteps that echoed around the room in absolute peacefulness. Never before had the bracelet and the keychain made Ennis feel so small, like a fool in a teen movie who gave his high school crush an empty promise that their love would last forever and ever.
Ennis looked down at the bracelet around his wrist. He remembered Jack’s face when he gave it to him. The truth was, Ennis didn’t think he would forget that look ever, how those eyes got wide and swimming with feelings. He wondered how Jack looked when that man gave him the ring, that man who was now strolling gracefully into the club with a big box of presents in his hand and a thousand-watt smile, Ennis saw from the corner of his eyes.
It was a surprise visit, obviously, ‘cause Grant hurried to Brent with an astonished look. With a curse, Ennis stayed rooted behind the bar, until Grant found him and a bowl of popcorn glued together like Siamese twins. “I swear I didn’t plan this. He said he couldn’t make it when I told him about the party.”
Ennis tried to look neutral. “No worries, Grant. It’s your day. Enjoy the party.”
Grant sighed. Somebody was calling Grant’s name and a minute later, when Grant was still hesitating, Brent showed up beside him. He put his elbows on the bar and smiled down at them all too friendly-like. “Hey. Why are you hiding here? Let’s play darts.”
Ennis pushed his beer bottle into Grant’s hand. Well, if the man wants to play darts, then darts it is.
++++++++++
Ennis hadn’t picked up the phone when Jack called a while ago. But he wasn’t worried ‘cause Ennis was at the club. The idea of Ennis hanging out with his friends was giving him a thrill and Jack found himself smiling widely as he stepped into the Bay & Bridge. Instead of typical 80s music, he was greeted by crazy cheering and yelling, making him blink in surprise. Grant having a wild birthday party instead of a quiet one was the last thing he imagined.
Stepping carefully into the middle of the room, Jack saw that everyone had their back turned to him, concentrating on something on the far wall of the club. He tried to look over others’ heads, but before he spotted anything, Grant dragged him out of the circle of madness to the bar where another popper of popcorn was rotating and cooking in the microwave.
“What’s happening?” he required. “What’s everyone cheering at?”
“A dart game that involves vodka for each round’s loser that never seems to end.”
Jack snickered. “That’s wild. Who’s winning now?”
“Brent.”
“He’s here?” Grant nodded, handing Jack a bottle of beer, suddenly looking uncomfortable. Jack narrowed his eyes at Grant above a Budweiser. “You don’t look good,” Jack observed then drank a big gulp of beer. “Who’s losing?”
“Ennis.”
Jack choked on the beer. “Ennis!?! Why is Ennis playing darts with Brent?”
“Because it’s fun?”
“Ha ha ha.” Jack feigned a laugh.
“They’ve been playing the game for hours. I think they have drunk more vodka than the Russians drink in a week.”
Jack moved back to the crowd, squeezed in and emerged behind Brent’s tall frame. And, sure enough, Ennis was standing in the circle of people, forehead furrowed with intense concentration as he aimed with one eye at the dart board on the far wall, the red dart in his grip.
Everyone was quiet, all the attention following the dart that was now flying toward the board. It hit the green slot several inches from the bull’s-eye, below the blue dart that was standing proud and tall on the red slot near the bull’s-eye.
With a grunt, Ennis turned to empty out the small glass of vodka and grimaced. Brent chuckled, was about to start another game, but Jack jumped up to block his way. Brent smiled. “Hey.”
“Brent,” Jack nodded then simply walked up to Ennis who swayed a little when he caught his arm. “You ok?”
“Yep,” Ennis said, but gently pried his arm from Jack’s hold and jerked his chin at Brent. “Your turn now, huh?”
“Come on, Ennis. That’s enough,” Jack whispered.
“Nope. Not gonna stop ‘til I knock him down.”
Jack turned to Grant for help but was dragged out of the circle instead. They ended up sitting on the couch behind the bar together, munching popcorn as the cheering erupted again. “Sorry about that…” Jack murmured.
“No, I’m sorry. Brent said he couldn’t make it but I should have known him better. That man loves to surprise people.”
“Yeah…some things never change.” Jack drew his legs up to sit Indian-style on the couch as another round of cheering exploded. He sighed. “It would be a hell of a lot easier if I could just throw Brent out of the club, not that I’m going to do it on your birthday, but you know what I mean.”
“No, you can’t, and not because it’s my birthday party.”
“I know.” Jack ate a mouthful of popcorn. “Sometime I wonder if there’ll come a day when I look at Brent without guilt eating at me. Or if I will ever see him as a regular person, Tom, Dick, or Harry, or a hotdog guy who I can just bare my teeth at on my bad days without feeling anything.”
“Boy, you would glare at a hotdog guy on your bad days?”
“Whatever, Grant, what I mean is Brent knows I feel guilty for leaving him and he makes sure I won’t forget that. I feel like he is a damn tattoo on my skin, like something haunting me from the past. And I don’t understand why he wanted to play darts with Ennis, like he didn’t know the consequences of what I have to deal with after the party’s over.”
“Or he didn’t care.”
“Or he wanted me to deal with consequences,” Jack said, squinting when he heard the guys cheer Ennis! Ennis! and knew without looking that Ennis was about to throw another ounce of vodka down his throat. Well, nobody was forcing him, who knew, he might be having a good time. Like hell, Jack cussed. After a while of doing nothing but tossing popcorn into his mouth, Jack noticed the absence of Lee. “Where’s Lee?”
“He’ll be a bit late. Said he has to see his mom or something.”
“Hopefully he’ll be on time for the cleaning up,” Grant snorted. “Sorry, I can’t help it.”
Lee arrived in ten minutes and asked for a rewind of what was going on. Jack left Grant to do the explaining while he stood up on the bar and observed the progress of the dart game.
In the end, Brent and Ennis played that stupid dart game for half the night until they were too drunk to grab the darts and too unfocused to make out where the dart board was. The clock finally ticked two A.M. and Jack managed to ignore them both as he helped Lee clean up the place while Grant sent off the guests. At one point, Lee elbowed him to look across the club to where Brent and Ennis were practically sprawling semi-unconsciously on the long seats. They were pretty noisy, either drunk-blindly snapping each other or talking in their sleep. Lee jerked his chin there. “What’re you gonna do?”
Without hearing Jack’s answer, Lee headed that way, leaving Jack no choice but to follow. And later he found himself wincing down at the two totally wasted men; one had held his past and the other was, hopefully, holding his future, talking animatedly like they had known each other for years.
“It’s fucking strange…” he caught Brent murmur. “Fucking Ripley…”
“Yeah, Jack did that sometime.” Now Ennis grunted back, rolling his head without opening his eyes. I did what? Jack made quick eye-contact with Lee, feeling his stomach lurching. Was he supposed to hear this?
“He…” Brent drawled. “He used to…ek…went all the way to L.A. and we cerebrated my birthday…ek.”
“Yeah?” Ennis slurred. He struggled to open his eyes, but failed. With a groan, he rolled to his side and started to giggle. “You know he…he hates fucking cockroaches.” Lee snorted. Jack rolled his eyes but Ennis seemed to have more to say to his long-lost best friend, Jesus. “And spiders. Once he…he…kinda froze and…” Crazy giggles. “…had that look in his face like someone just…fucking died. Turned out the poor spider was crawling on his leg…and it was this tiny…”
Brent laughed, so did Lee. Jack shoved the red-haired man and grabbed Ennis’s arm. “Ennis, come on. I’ll take you upstairs.”
“No….”
“Yeeeaaahh,” Brent blurted out as he slumped sideways. “You know somethin’? I just love it when he…when he…shit…”
“Yeah…I love… Yeah, me, too, I love…” Ennis stopped, frowned and smiled. Jack swallowed. “…chicken curry…”
Lee burst out laughing. And with that, Brent and Ennis continued their murmurs and shared giggles again in their drunken world. Ennis said something more about food; turkey sandwich and chili. Jack caught Brent’s chitchat about New York, baseball and iPod among other silly things.
A half hour later, Brent, who seemed to sober up after being forced to drink a cup of strong coffee, said he would go home. Not the best idea ‘cause in his condition, there was no way in hell and heaven Brent could go home in one piece. Ennis was stretched out on the long seat, sound asleep now and snoring softly under the warmth from his own jacket that was covering him up to his nose. Grant and Lee were talking and Jack saw them steal kisses behind the bar. Jack sat on the end of seat, looking at Brent who was kneading his temple quietly. “How’re you doing?”
Brent groaned. “I’m ok. But I have to go.”
“You can’t drive like this,” Jack said matter-of-factly. “You’re drunk.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.” Brent smirked, and automatically, Jack reached out to rub Ennis’s thigh, knowing Brent was watching, but didn’t stop. Damn but it looked like Brent could use some rest.
“You can take a nap here. Wait until you feel better.”
“I can’t sleep anywhere but home, you know that.”
“I remember.” Jack sighed. “But I insist. You shouldn’t drive.” With a quick decision, he grabbed the familiar car key on the table. “Come on, I’ll drive you.”
++++++++++
Brent’s apartment was the same modern room that looked like an extract from Home and Style magazine. Jack cautiously maintained a suitable distance as he followed Brent into his bedroom-still the same big room with striped silver and gold wallpaper that had always made him a bit cross-eyed.
Jack decided to linger behind as Brent started to undress and got under the blanket with a stifled groan. “God, can you get me some water and pills? My head hurts like hell.”
“Ok.” Jack tried not to think about anything when he walked to the bathroom and opened just the right cabinet and took out just the right bottle of pills. It was no use pretending to be lost in this enormous apartment of your ex just to prove that you didn’t feel something for him anymore.
Back to the bedroom, he watched Brent swallow the pills and water and was about to turn off the light when Brent called out, “Why did you do this?”
“You can’t drive.”
“You still feel something for me, don’t you? It’s ok. Nobody’s here. It’s just us, like before.”
Jack sat down on the lone chair near the bed. “Maybe I do feel something. It could be guilt. And I still care about you. Or maybe I’m here because I feel like we haven’t talked properly about us.” He looked at Brent who slid a little more into the blanket. “It’s always been nothing but good being with you, Brent. I want you to know that.”
“Then come back to me. I’ve missed you.”
“Can’t.” Jack squeezed the bridge of his nose. “I really hope I can make you understand how I feel about Ennis without hurting you. What we’ve had, it was great. You were a great partner. You did nothing wrong, but what I have with Ennis, it’s…more intense… It’s…”
“You can be direct, Jack. You lost your love for me, say it, I can handle that.” Jack ran fingers through his hair nervously. Brent’s simple but harsh words like a dart came piercing into a board that was his heart. Brent continued bitterly, “How do you know it won’t happen again? How can you be so sure you wouldn’t dump him like you did me when you find somebody new?”
Jack slumped against the back of the chair. “I knew you wouldn’t understand.”
“Make me.”
Jack rubbed his face. “Brent… Being with you is about confidence and stability. It’s about walking on water and you make me feel proud and strong. But the truth is I’m not perfect, nor that strong. And Ennis isn’t either, like me. With him, it’s about a journey of up and down, of discovery, and I wake up every day to find new things about him. Like tonight, I know now he can be pretty animated when he’s wasted.” Jack chuckled a bit as he thought back to a super-friendly, drunken Ennis. “With him, it’s about fulfilling each other…and it’s about double espresso in the morning and frozen beef lasagna at night… I don’t know, it’s hard to explain…”
“That intense, huh?”
Jack exhaled as he nodded. “Yeah. It scares me sometimes.”
After a few quiet minutes, Brent finally let out a sigh and rubbed his weary eyes. “Shit, I was acting like a jerk tonight. Sorry about that. There’s a devil in me that just won’t go away. Are you going to be ok?”
Jack felt the tension seep from his body. “Are you?” Jack tossed the same question back at Brent. And it wasn’t only about his drunken condition.
“I guess. Well, I have to be ok finally. But fuck, I’m gonna have a headache come morning.” Brent groaned and slid down deeper under the blanket, patting the space on the edge of the bed. But Jack didn’t go there. He just reached to lower the level of the light on the nightstand when Brent caught his wrist. “There’s something else, isn’t it?”
Brent’s hold was strong, and it pressed the beaded bracelet on his skin. Jack nodded. “There is. I’m here because I want to end this properly. We’re really over, Brent. I’m in love with someone else. I feel guilty every time I see you, but it’s not going to change anything.”
Brent let go of his wrist and turned on his side. The light from the bulb wasn’t enough for Jack to see the emotions on the handsome face that was facing away from him. “Damn it,” Brent whispered after a silent beat. “Thought I could handle this. But fuck it hurts.”
“I’m sorry…” Jack said softly, wanting Brent to know he meant it, really meant it, and he didn’t know how long he stayed there. But Brent hadn’t moved by the time the clock struck three in the morning. He might be asleep or might not, Jack didn’t know. He looked around the room, wondering what tomorrow might bring, if he and Brent would be total strangers or, as his selfish heart always hoped, they could be friends again.
++++++++++
Ennis had a restless sleep. And there were reasons behind it; his head hurt, his stomach roared from too much booze, the uncomfortable position on Grant’s sofa, and the fact that every time he woke up to the darkness, Jack hadn’t yet come back.
He knew Jack had gone to that man’s place ‘cause he wasn’t that drunk when Lee and Grant dragged him up to Grant’s room on the second floor. He heard Grant tell Lee about that, and heard Lee spit ‘Fucker, hasn’t he ever learned something?’ before they laid him on the long sofa.
Ennis was certain nothing would happen. Besides, it was the other way around this time; Jack was sober while that man was drunk. The past wouldn’t repeat itself. But Ennis felt disturbed, so disturbed that even the alcohol couldn’t calm him, though he really couldn’t put his finger on why. Maybe he wouldn’t feel like this if he hadn’t seen that ring.
He heard footsteps from downstairs, so did Grant, ‘cause he was now heading out of the bedroom to the door. Ennis also heard Grant and Jack exchange words softly before he saw Jack bend down to look at him, fingers threading through the hair above his ear. “Hey.” Jack sat down when he saw Ennis wasn’t sleeping. “Get some sleep, Ennis.”
“Where you been?” Asked for the answer he’d already known.
“Brent’s drunk. I drove him home. How’re you feeling?”
“What if there was a fire?”
“What?” Ennis could see Jack’s puzzled expression from the light seeping through the crack of the curtain.
“What if there was a fire here?”
Jack shook his head ruefully. “There wasn’t.”
“What if there was? Here, while you were tending to him.”
“I’m not tending to him. I just drove him home.” Jack scooted closer and looked straight into his eyes. Ennis believed him but couldn’t stop the words that were pouring out of his mouth. It was like there was somebody pulling the strings, rousing the evil Ennis Del Mar who refused to live with reasons.
“So here comes the same question again,” Ennis heard himself say, voice cracking. “What if there was fire here while you were gone? What if there was a major earthquake? A tornado?”
Jack threw his arms in the air. “What’s your problem, Ennis? You know I’ll come back. I’ll run, hail a cab. It’s less than five minutes from there.”
Ennis looked at Jack in the dark, knew damn well that Jack was trying his best to deal with his stubbornness and stupidity. But the evil Ennis finally won. He abruptly covered his face with his sweater, his voice muffled when he said, “Too late. I’m already dead.”
++++++++++
Ennis still felt that deadness in him several days later, and Martha looked concerned.
“Here. Take a couple of pills and sleep it off.” She handed him a bottle of painkillers which Ennis refused. Ennis muttered a thank you and tried to continue reading the report as Martha stepped closer. “I’ll put it here then.”
“Thanks,” Ennis muttered but didn’t look at the bottle of pills on the table. He was trying to read, had been working hard to focus and had succeeded only for about five minutes until Martha came in. Damn it. Ennis glanced at the small white bottle. Couldn’t read now, might as well take some pills and, if he was lucky, he might be able to get some sleep. But that wasn’t likely to happen, for one thing, luck wasn’t his best friend. Not to mention Jack’s question now came haunting at the back of his mind again; what’s your problem?
Ennis looked at the Salt Lake Temple postcard and put down the report. Need to get out of here. Need more space to breathe. And for the next thirty minutes, Ennis still thought about Jack and his question as he strolled in the park with Flea. Hell, he hated it when they fought. And for God’s sake, he’d started it this time. He blamed it all on the ring he found in Jack’s drawer. But maybe it was just a scapegoat. He could give a ring to Jack if he wanted to, and Jack would wear it, no doubt about that. So what was the problem?
He was the problem, he and how he was placing one of his feet in Jack’s room and the other in his haunted apartment that still smelled strongly of the Ennis Del Mar he used to be.
He felt determined. Not so often that determination was on his side, so he’d better hang on to it. Ennis grabbed his cell and called Jack. Jack picked it up fast, like he was waiting for the call.
“Jack,” he started. “I want you to go some place with me.”
“Where?” A cautious inquiry.
“My apartment.” Ennis kicked some random dry branch near his feet, and watched it fall into the pond. “The last piece of me.”
++++++++++
Jack didn’t know what to expect. But Ennis’s apartment was pretty much what he had thought it would be; small, mature and simple with just enough furniture for a bachelor who was hardly ever home.
Ennis tossed a key on the bed as Flea started his sniffing around the place. The curtain was being snatched open and Jack had to squint his eyes as the late afternoon sun beamed in. Quietly, Ennis sank down on the bed. Jack wasn’t sure if Ennis realized how Ennis’s eyes seemed to say ‘come here’ when their eyes met, really met for the first time after Friday night. So Jack sat on the bed, too, not so close to Ennis, and not so far.
The silence was heavy. Flea looked like he couldn’t stand it and jumped up on the bed. And that was when Jack decided to break the ice. “Look, Ennis.”
“No, you listen to me,” Ennis interrupted. “I don’t know why you still have to, well, be around your ex…but...”
“I’m not…”
“But that’s what makes you the way you are, I mean…you’re still you, before and after you met me. And I guess that’s what I, well, like about you.” Ennis flicked his eyes up at Jack and looked down again. “I’m the one who’s changed, you’re not. I just can’t seem to accept that and make everyone around me crazy.”
Jack moved closer. “You’re the same Ennis Del Mar I know.”
“I’m not and you know damn well what I mean, Jack.”
“Can’t say I don’t like that change…” Jack shrugged, earning a shove on his shoulder.
“I’m serious.”
Jack sat cross-leg on the bed and watched Flea play with his rubber bone while he collected his thoughts. He felt the need to be true to himself, and to Ennis. “I’m not gonna lie to you. I still care about Brent but it’s not what you think. It’s not based on love. I don’t know, it might be either guilt or gratitude. He was there for me when I was struggling with this being gay thing and when we dated, he was nothing but good to me. I can’t just ignore him especially when he needed me. That night, I just drove him home because he was drunk and that was all, Ennis.”
“I know.”
“You know?” Jack asked. “So why…”
Ennis shrugged. “I saw his ring in your drawer.”
Jack blinked. It took him some time to finally understand what Ennis was talking about. The ring that Brent gave him in L.A. where they were celebrating Brent’s birthday but it turned out he was the one who got the present. It was his favorite accessory until the gorgeous but humble African beads took over its place in his heart. “It’s the past, Ennis.”
Ennis shrugged again, grimaced a little this time. “I know. I was feeling stupid and…shit…come here, you.” He grabbed Jack’s arm and laid them down on the well-made bed with Jack on top. Flea sniffed closer but Ennis threw the ball out to the floor, making the little dog bounce down to his favorite toy. Jack looked down at him questioningly and Ennis blew out nervous air. “I want you to do this.”
“Do what?” Jack asked, but Ennis could tell from his soft eyes that Jack knew what he wanted.
“This.” He slid Jack’s hand from his flank to rest on his hips, and pushed his groin up to make his point. Jack gasped, still didn’t avert his eyes from Ennis.
“Are you saying…?”
“Yes.” He clutched the back of Jack’s head and kissed him, probing his tongue inside that sweet mouth. “Just do it here, chase away the old Ennis Del Mar and make me new, make me whole.”
“Jesus,” Jack gritted his teeth as Ennis pushed his hips up again, rubbing their heated bodies more forcefully. “But do you want this?”
“Don’t you know by now that I want this? You really have to ask?”
“Oh, Ennis.” One more kiss, and Ennis closed his eyes, trying to relax as Jack’s hands slowly peeled off his clothes. He’d never felt this exposed in his whole life, exposed, defenseless, but he wasn’t scared. The truth was he thought he even looked forward to it. He wanted to live real, wanted to be strong. And Jack’s touch was gentle. The weight of his hands that were dotting on his naked skin was solid and possessive, and Ennis had to wonder why he ever suspected that Jack would have eyes for someone else, even when he had been telling Ennis whichever way possible that Ennis was the only one for him.
Jack Twist might still care for all his exes, but that was his loving nature, and that was what Ennis adored about that man. But damn, he was going to make sure that Brent guy was history.
Ennis was flipped on his stomach, Jack’s kisses sprayed on his shoulders and back. He laid his body, his soul in Jack’s hands, didn’t shy away, and didn’t even stiffle a moan of pleasure when he felt Jack inside him, knowing whatever happened in the future, he wasn’t facing it alone.
++++++++++
“What is it?” Jack blinked when Ennis slid a small gray box made of cardboard across the table in the kitchen. Ennis made a face as if it was the stupidest question. “What? I know it’s a box. But why do I need a box?”
“Umm…let’s see…to keep things you don’t need anymore?”
Jack opened his mouth but what he was going to say stuck in his throat when Ennis let the insecurity in him show in his eyes, maybe for the first time. “I’ll throw it away if you want.”
“If you wanted to throw it away, you’d have done that by now. I know you’re not ready.”
Suddenly, Jack jumped up on his feet and walked with the box to the closet. Ennis watched as he put the envelope into the box, then moved to the bookshelf and swept some books down as well. After a pause, Jack swiftly turned to the bathroom. Ennis’s eyes got wide in shock. “You got that much stuff?”
Jack answered by simply bringing the box which was now half-filled with things and putting it on the table. Ennis grabbed the bottle containing the light green liquid and lifted it up to his nose to sniff. “Christ, Jack. Is this the aftershave…” that I like? He didn’t say it out loud but of course Jack knew. On more than one occasion, he had admitted to liking the smell of that stuff, especially on Jack. Jack nodded, seized it and put it back in the box.
“I’ll buy a new one. Or you can buy that for me.”
“I’m not buying shit for you,” Ennis murmured, pretending to look through other stuff in the box, but he was smiling. Jack smiled, too, and swatted his hand away. He closed the lid and gave it a healthy pat, then they just looked across the table at each other, no words were exchanged, both contented in just looking.
Ennis’s cell rang, breaking the spell. It was from Dr. Emily West, the new vet, and he picked up the call, peeling Jack’s hand off the box and drawing the man closer to him. “Dr. West,” Jack’s arm wound around his waist and Ennis was pulled into the warmth of his broad chest and welcomed by kisses on his neck, jaw and cheek. “Tomorrow is fine with me,” Ennis coaxed out. “I’m real glad that you would like to look at my place. It’s in a very quiet area. I think you will like it.”
* * *
If you missed the 1st one-shot "What're you doing?", it's here. And my writing plans (if you're interested to know) are here. Have a nice, energetic Monday, everyone :) xxx